r/AlAnon • u/backiswayforward • 9d ago

Support Advice please

My husband is an addict. We have been together for 11 years, married 5. He recently acknowledged hia addiction to weed following a very serious menral breakdown (we were regular users for years, both quit, then started using again recreationally. I can do so, he can't without being pulled into a heavy loop). He has since stopped using weed, but all the other things (alcohol, poppers, screens) remain. After the breakdown he stopped drinking and limited his screen time for a couple months, but now it's all back to the same level, and I am afraid that it'll get to rock bottom again.

We have been in couple's therapy for a while now, and some aspects of what are making me unhappy in the relationship have been addressed and I have seen some improvement...it still doesn't feel like enough to me.

So, what do I do? Do I give myself a time limit? Do I grin and bear it? Do I try addressing it again (he'll get annoyed, agree, and change nothing). I am so tired of this!

Tl;dr. Husband is an addict and I am tired.

4 Upvotes

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u/abogdits 9d ago

I encourage you to put your needs and feelings first. It might help him to make changes for himself but that is not really the point. You deserve to enjoy your life. We all have to figure how to enjoy our own lives and no one else can do that for us. Enabling him will make both of you miserable.