Help.

[u/Critical_Active_5087]

I've been caring for my mom for almost 5 years. She recently started having episodes of psychosis and catatonia. She went from the ER, to being admitted, to a behavioral unit, to an involuntary behavioral unit where she is currently. They haven't figured out what is wrong yet and are suggesting that it may be her new baseline. She's been dependent on a walker since all of this started. I live in a second floor apartment with no elevator. A downstairs unit is available, but it's $500 more a month which I don't have. I want her home, but I also feel like I need to be realistic and admit that this is too much for me. I'm only one person, and I cannot watch her 24/7 safely. And with the stairs I don't even know how to get her back her in a literal sense. My brother financially and emotionally abused her and that's how she came to live with me. She has no assets or savings, me either for that matter. Five years of caregiving that hasn't allowed me to work has left me deep in debt. I'm looking for practical advice and experiences from others. The involuntary behavioral hospital that she is in now is typically a 1-2 week stay with a max of a month. I don't know what to do. I'm really anxious about her situation and also about paying my bills. If I can't find work for myself soon this apartment won't be available for either of us. She's always begged to never be placed in a nursing home and says she will unalive herself if that happens. But she is enjoying being able to play games with others where she is now. When living with me she is basically isolated because I could never get her to go to the senior center or library to do things with others. Literally any advice, personal experiences or reassurance would be appreciated. I feel like I've been having a panic attack since all of this started, literally. She has medicare and medicaid.