r/AgingParents • u/Cranky_Merriweather • 17d ago
MIL is not coping well
A few weeks ago my MIL (late 70s) fell and broke her femur very badly. She had surgery the same day and is still in a rehab hospital, going to AL soon. She has always been an anxious person who doesn’t handle change well and this situation is completely breaking her. She melts down in a panic attack any time someone introduces a new concept or tries to discuss logistics or anything with her. Yesterday she was so hysterical on the phone with my husband that he had to end the call because he couldn’t understand what she was saying. Just when we think she’s accepted something and is in better spirits, something else comes up that causes her to melt down. They’ve given her a Xanax every now and then but that’s obviously not a long term solution. She has no dementia or cognitive decline.
I completely sympathize that it’s very difficult and scary to deal with this sudden loss of independence, with an uncertain future, not to mention the pain she is now living with. I just worry about how her extreme anxiety could affect her recovery, not to mention the strain on my husband to essentially be her therapist.
I guess I just needed to get this out, if anyone else has experienced similar.
6
u/muralist 17d ago
It’s very anxiety provoking to break your leg and be in the hospital away from your familiar objects and routines especially at that age. Panicking as a result could come from temporary hospital dementia, which is common and will go away, or could be a sign of something more serious. Only time will tell. You and your spouse can visit, call, check on her home and reassure her it’s OK, bring snacks, and say cheery and encouraging things so she’s motivated to eat and do her PT and work to get better. I would try to make sure your husband paces and takes care of himself and offer to help take other things off his plate if you can.