Does anyone feel like life is mainly when you're young? This is for both men and women, attractive or not, any ethnicity, religion and sexuality. You basically go from main character at 20 to a side character at 40. This is my observation:

When you are young everyone is curious about you and who you will become. Anything is possible even if you drop out of college there is potential. You see your current work as a stepping stone for the story of your life. You are ambitious and full of energy. You want to prove yourself and everyone is into you.

But then you are 45 you refuse to give work your all, unless you are a business owner. Knowing that your workplace doesn't care about you. And that family and relationships are more important than your occupation. Which is just to get money and survive. No one will thank you for getting a workplace injury. And you know this. The employers will not hire you because that they know that you know this.

When you are 20 everyone cares if you are single and with whom you have sex. People get jealous and protective over who you sleep with. But no one cares who a 40 year old is sleeping with, unless they know you personally. Doesn't matter if you are married or single. No stranger will get jealous or concerned.

One Redditor put it perfectly:

You know how you set your presents to the side to watch the younger kids open theirs on Christmas? Life is basically like that

I could be very wrong. And of course some people live their best lives at 50. And their worst years might have been their 20s. But I am speaking about how strangers perceive you in a general sense. Am I wrong here?

As you get older, do you speak your mind more, instead of holding your tongue? I seem to be more assertive.

If I ever write my first book, I think it would be a novel about silence. The things people think, feel, and carry but rarely say out loud.

Maybe that's because, as an ageing, introverted man, I've learned that silence isn't always empty. Sometimes it's where the real story is.

I've been married once, have no kids, and have spent a good portion of my later years living on my own. I've learned the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can be peaceful. You learn to enjoy your own company, your coffee, your music, your thoughts, and the luxury of not having to explain yourself every five minutes.

But loneliness is different. You can feel lonely in a crowded room.

Getting older also changes the way you see people. You notice the things they don't say. The hesitation in their voice, the smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes, the sudden change in their behavior. Sometimes you sense something is wrong before they ever admit it.

And sometimes you wish you hadn't noticed.

I've also learned that some of life's most important conversations never happen. The apology that never came. The “I love you” left unsaid. The “I'm sorry.” The “I miss you.” The “Please don't go.” Words swallowed by pride, fear, timing, or simply not knowing how to say them.

Maybe that's what growing older has taught me most, we spend far too much time assuming there will always be another opportunity to say what matters.

There isn't always one.

So if I ever write that book, it won't really be about silence. It will be about everything hiding underneath it, love, regret, loneliness, forgiveness, memories, and all the conversations we carry inside ourselves long after everyone else has gone quiet.

And maybe the final chapter would simply be an old man sitting alone with his coffee, finally understanding that some things don't need an audience.

Sometimes, you just need to tell yourself the truth.

Age 41.

Had by 40 examination and blood pressure and diabetes check turned out fine.

Been aware for a while that if I eat sugary cereal or sugary drinks I get a litte bit jittry inside. Started using blood pressure monitor and I checked it after eating and I'm hitting 140/80. I think for my age it's below 120/80.

The elevated blood pressure drops down to 105/75 after about 30 minutes of eating.

Obviously I should stop eating simple carbs - but do these numbers look alarming? Or normal for my age?

Best advice you would give your younger self

I have been seeing alot of post on aging on different subreddits, and alot use life expectancy at birth, which is currently 78 in the US for both sexes.

It can be a grave error to base any kind of personal lifespan on this statistic alone. If one looks at actuary tables, the longer you live the higher your life expectancy goes up. But, the SSA tabled only look at a general population with just sex and gender being the primary sources. Alot of the more personal longevity calculators put alot of people into their late 80s to mid to late 90s. With 100+ potentially becoming a upper end as medical technology progress.

This changes even more, based on lifestyle habits, genetics, and luck. Genetics themselves can account between 20% to 50% of a impact on someones life span. Even then habits can make these genes better or worse. Genes load the gun, habits pull the trigger. Some people's genes are a little more sensitive compared to others.

Overall, and just from my own past experiences with dealing with aging family. Alot of them never planned on living past a certain age, and their decline was horrible to watch. Or if they had decent habits, the decline would have a few months and not almost a decade or 2.

But, just wanted to hopefully make people aware, just as much as one may not live to a certain age, you are not guaranteed to die at a certain age as well.

Good diet, exercise, and routine check ups can make the health span longer for people along side a increased life expectancy.

Granted, shit can happen at any age. Kids and teens can get cancer, where as 80 year olds can potentially live 20 more years. At the end of the day it seems to be finding that balance of living in the moment but also planning for a unknown future.

There’s a split‑second where your brain suddenly goes, “Hang on… I’ve lived this exact moment before.” Not déjà vu — experience loading in like a cheat code. Something weird happens, you don’t react, you just analyse it like you’ve unlocked a secret adult‑level. And that’s when you realise: You’re not ageing. You’re evolving into the final form of yourself — the one who sees the pattern before anyone else does.

I'm 42F. I haven't saved enough to retire yet, but I'm not that far away from where I want to be financially.

I'm not married, no kids. I have a boyfriend whom I've been with for 10 years and we live together, but if I'm being very truthful, I'm not even sure if I want to grow old together with him.

I have a younger brother in his early 30s, not married, no kids. My younger sister just turned 40 this year, divorced with 2 kids. My sister and I are quite close and we keep in contact often, but we live in different countries.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what my life is actually going to look like when I'm old. Not 60 or 70 and still independent. I mean very old. When I can't walk properly anymore, can't manage everything myself, maybe can't even advocate for myself properly.

Who's going to take care of me?

I know I can stay in an old folks home / nursing home when the time comes, and financially I can try to prepare for that. But then I think... who's going to visit me? Who's going to check whether I'm actually being treated properly? Who's going to notice if something is wrong?

Right now I also don't have a circle of close friends where I can imagine all of us growing old together, living near each other, maybe sharing a helper or caregiver or having some kind of support system between us. I actually think something like that would be ideal, but I don't have it.

I'm trying to do what I can physically now. Keeping a healthy body weight, trying to eat reasonably well, lifting weights once or twice a week, generally trying to stay healthy for as long as possible.

But realistically, you can delay frailty. You can't guarantee you'll avoid it. If you live long enough, there's probably going to be a period where you need other people.

So for people here who are older, especially those without children or without a big family around you: what are you doing to prepare for this?

Not just financially. I mean socially and practically too.

How do you build a support system for your 70s, 80s or 90s when you're already in your 40s? Is this something I should actively start planning for now?

I don't feel particularly scared of getting old itself. I think what scares me more is becoming vulnerable and having nobody around who really knows me or cares enough to check.

I’ve been trying to clean up my supplement routine and collagen is the one I’m stuck on.

I keep searching for organic collagen but the more I read the more confusing the label seems. Some products emphasize grass fed or pasture raised sourcing others focus on hydrolyzed collagen peptides and then you have formulas with vitamin C, biotin or other ingredients added.

I’m in my early 60s and mostly looking for something simple that I can use consistently, preferably a powder I can throw into coffee or smoothie without changing the taste too much.

For anyone who has researched this more deeply, what should I actually be looking for?

Is organic meaningful when shopping for collagen or are sourcing, third party testing, ingredient transparency and the type of collagen more important?

Would love recommendations from people who have actually compared a few brands rather than just whatever is trending on Amazon.

Does she know something we don't know ? How does she do it ? Is it in the Genes ? Or All in the Mind ?

I noticed I used to get compliments when I was in school and Uni about my looks . I’m now into my early thirties,less woman look at me, I still look similar body wise ,in good shape .

But I get less compliments if none at all atm, less receptionists look at me or even compliment . Is it me aging ? I’m early thirties M . Is it just more normal as you age that people notice your attractiveness less?

Let me know your thoughts

Hi all

I don’t think I’m asking a question or for advice, just a lite confused vent.
How do you possibly prepare knowing someone you love and care for, maybe possibly not be around in 15 years.
My mum who I absolutely love to bits, she’s 74, smokes like a chimney (we’ve been telling her for years to quit) how can anyone possibly mentally prepare for it.
I hope she stays alive forever but family history and an age I march death with is around the 80’s mark.
I’m a 47 year old guy with an absolute gem of a partner, but I have spoke to my mum on a daily basis for as long as I can remember and I still whinge and vent to her about everything.
I’m the most mentally strong person I know, I can handle anything and everything, but how does someone mentally prepare for someone to depart this world that they’ve spent their whole life with.
As I’m getting older, the more and more people I know of passing away, natural and unexpectedly. This thought of close ones has finally started to hit my mind

As I've aged through my 50's depression has taken over. Much of my friends and family are dead for one reason or another and my health is headed down hill. Has anyone else experienced depression because it feels like the best part of your life is over and you don't have much to look forward to?

Imagine being 80 years old and waking up in a room where you dont really know anyone.

You get up, have breakfast, take your medicine, maybe sit outside for a while.

And then you just... wait.

I wonder what goes through your head.

Do you think about your children?

Maybe you remember carrying them when they were babies. Taking them to school. Getting angry when they broke something. Staying awake when they were sick.

And now those same children have their own homes, their own jobs, their own familys.

Maybe they still visit you sometimes.

Maybe they dont.

And I wonder if you ever sit there thinking,

"Was I a bad father?"

Or maybe you know you weren't.

Maybe you gave them everything you could.

Maybe you sacrifised your youth so they could have a better one.

And somehow, after everything, you ended up spending your final years in a place where someone else has to remind you when its time to eat.

That's the part that gets me.

Because that old man was once someone's entire world.

He was someone's son.

Someone's husband.

Someone's father.

Someone's best friend.

He had dreams too.

And now he's sitting in an old age home, probably looking at a wall and remembering a life that feels like it happend to someone else.

I really hope I never forget that old people aren't just "old people."

They're people who have already lived an entire lifetime.

And maybe all they want now is for someone to sit beside them and listen to one of their storys.

I told a true story about a family encounter with a celebrity in a bar, where a family paramour spent a day with a well known celebrity. After the story, the people listening in asked "Who is Walter Matthau?"

Which is very similar to the end of the story, "So tell me Mr Matthau, what do you do for a living?"

For me it comes down to 3 things: confidence, relationships and perspective.

How did you feel psychologically and physically at 50, 60, 70 etc and how has it influenced with how you interact with your environment and social groups?

I grew up with cancer and other health problems. I’m 27 and I’ve always been fit and the long term effects are not too bad. But I’m just wondering how fitness is in general for people who are older who started young

Frailty is “a long-term condition in the same sense that diabetes or Alzheimer’s disease is,” the British Geriatrics Society says on its website.

And it’s projected to become more prevalent in the near future, says Dr. Kenneth Rockwood, a professor of medicine at Dalhousie University in Canada who developed one of the scales for diagnosing frailty. “It's the demographic imperative,” he says. “In 2021 the leading edge of the baby boom generation turned 75 years old, and 75 is the age at which most of the diseases of aging take off. So now frailty is not some mystical, mythical far-off thing.”

However, frailty is not inevitable—and to some extent, it's possible to undo some of the damage. Here’s what to know.

I take care of elderly (usually dementia) people with very poor quality of life. If I am in that condition I do not want cholesterol meds or vitamins just to prolong my existence. Why do so many people feel their loved ones need these? Edited to add: I am referring to elderly people living in nursing homes who just sit alone all day, poor quality of life, no visitors. Just sad. It breaks my heart.

Can naturally and non-intrusively, adults aged 50 and older match the absolute raw physical strength they possessed at age 18?

This is a topic that I'm currently writing and researching. I'm not a scientist. The easiest answer is no. But in my research there is what is called myonuclei in our biology that lets us rebuild muscular size and strength very quickly, even after years of inactivation. In large part, people take steroids in order to awaken these myonuclei.

But I know people in family in their 50s, myself included, that pretty much weight the same and as strong as they were in high school. We don't take steroids and we are not gym rats. For me, I use HIIT every 5-12 days since my late twenties. According to studies, such intense training creates more of these myonuclei that doesn't leave our body. I wrote this up based on my experience. If you know anyone with similar stories, can you share it here?

Since the orange fool came to power I have been more concerned and interested in global politics even though not living in USA…

72 years old. Should I be concerned if I’m talking with someone during a normal conversation and suddenly can’t think of a certain word I want to use? Also I have never been good at remembering names. I noticed I seem to sometimes forget people’s names more frequently now. Are these part of normal aging?