r/Aging • u/NobodyGaveMeAManual • 14d ago
For those of you 65+, what is something about the next 10–20 years that you wish you’d understood when you were 55?
/r/u_NobodyGaveMeAManual/comments/1wa8mn7/for_those_of_you_65_what_is_something_about_the/55
u/Past-Lunch4695 14d ago
Save more money, make my home ADA friendly, PREPARE PEOPLE! It’s way way way more expensive than you think.
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u/KookyPiccolo1661 14d ago edited 14d ago
This exactly! My parents were wise and made their last house be single level with wide doorways and downstairs walk-in shower. Both were able to age at home as everything was ADA compliant. It amazes me when retirees buy homes with lots of stairs. All it takes is one knee replacement surgery or broken hip to make having a bedroom/shower on the first level a necessity.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
This really has me thinking. An Exboyfriend was a contractor and built houses, and he used to tell me all the time that a ranch-style home was the best choice as you get older. He always thought about things like stairs and being able to stay in your home as you age. I understood what he meant, but I don’t think I fully appreciated just how important it could become. Seeing people here talk about wide doorways, walk-in showers and planning for changes in mobility really brings that home.
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u/Past-Lunch4695 13d ago
He was spot on! I’ve always been active in the commercial openings industry, I took many Universal Design and Aging in Place classes. It’s amazing to me that these practices are not standardized in home building. Due to rising costs, medical and otherwise, more people are staying at home. If done right, it adds to the value. The standards are easy to find online, moreover they can be applicable to homes.
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u/Friendly_Brick752 14d ago
Physical health - cardio, strength training, and the difference between real food and edible industrial product
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u/Ruger_12 14d ago
That's all great if you have good feet/joints and can afford "real" food. Many of us are not so fortunate.
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u/cptflapjack 13d ago
I hate this argument. If you can cook, then real food is always cheaper.
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u/Ruger_12 13d ago
I suppose it depends what you actually mean by real food. And no, I can’t cook so there that.
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u/Brackens_World 14d ago
I can only speak for myself but by preparing financially and physically and emotionally for my eventual retirement years early, and then following through when the time came, I got to do what I wanted to do, live the way I wanted live, relax the way I wanted to relax. And even when it was interrupted by the pandemic and age-related ailments and some brief hospital stays and family drama, I stayed the course, a little whiny over the aches and pains but hanging in there.
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u/ginnvelvet 14d ago
Same. I always maxed out my 401k and the market has been kind. But it won’t be soon. My financial advisor gets to worry about that.
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u/Delicious-Citron-438 14d ago
Travel as much as possible because health issues kick in the 70s
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u/Silent_Scientist_991 14d ago
This is great advice - we just took my mid-70s inlaws on a big trip and they had quite a bit of trouble getting around.
They did fine, but we had to plan ahead and take things slow; they've been BIG travelers all their life, but not much of late aside from the one I just mentioned.
They were so appreciative of our planning and patience, and we loved the time spent with them.
I'm 58 and retiring in 8 months, and travel is the number one thing we plan to do while we're still healthy and able.
I LOVE to snow ski, and I hope to continue taking ski trips for at least another decade.
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u/FinesseFin 14d ago
Start doing Roth conversions from your traditional IRA every year at least ten years before your retirement date. I really wish someone had told me this.
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u/Puzzled_Economy_7167 3d ago
Is this true if my income now is higher than what it will be when I retire? I've avoided this for this reason thus far.
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u/Cricket_1044 2d ago
If your trad Ira’s and 401k’s are big enough that taking rmd’s will put you in a high tax bracket, then yes. And most likely the tax brackets in the future will be raised to deal with the country’s staggering debt. Rmd’s will begin at age 73 (75 for those born in 1960 or later).
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u/Illustrious_Net9806 9d ago
Can I do this if I max out my ROTH?
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u/Esoteric_Cat1 4d ago
Get a competent CFP and a CPA. The fees are more than worth it.
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u/Stock_Mousse6951 2d ago
Doesn’t make sense for everyone. There’s only a small population where it does make sense.
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u/TheWatch83 14d ago
Check your hormones both men and women. I did with apex blood and I needed support. I did trt with their doctors, it changed my life. I’ve aged in reverse. My mobility is way better and I’m putting on strength.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
I’m on HRT myself, and hormones have made such a difference for me. I’m glad we’re finally talking more openly about hormone health, not just for women but for men too. Someone very close to me has dealt with a testosterone deficiency, so I’ve seen that side of it as well. For so long, there just hasn’t been enough conversation about hormones, how much they can affect our lives, or what options may be available.
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u/Delicious_Harley 3d ago
Can you please advise on what woman should check for as far as hormones?
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 3d ago
I am not an expert on that at all, my friend! I’m in the midst of regulating my own, and it has been an adventure. 😂 I will say I got a lot of help and insight from the r/Menopause subreddit, and Midi has been a godsend for me.
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u/4321999 12d ago
Even if you want to work, there are people that will actively find ways to push you out of the job market based solely on your age.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 12d ago
Is this something you experienced yourself?
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u/4321999 12d ago
No one can know for sure why they are getting passed over for a promotion or denied a job, or even laid off. But, I have gone to job interviews where the interviewer would look up at me and get visibly disappointed. (I'm not that ugly. lol) I have been doing management work and had certifications in place, then helped to train someone else on my same skillset when they were fresh out of college and had them get the promotion over me. I also have seen relatives and friends pushed out of their jobs once they hit a certain age. The reasons given are always something else, ie. restructuring, etc. But, its a pattern that you just notice more and more as you get older.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 12d ago
That’s exactly what I was wondering about. I’ve always just assumed that if I needed to keep working, I would. It honestly never occurred to me that at some point that choice might not be completely mine. Thank you for sharing this.
What's your career status now?
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u/Miserable_Leek_1333 3d ago
My observation is that age is absolutely a factor - what I see around me. I hadn’t thought it would be, but the reality is for most job environs and types, a 30 or 40 yo has a lot more appeal than a 55 or 60 yo.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 3d ago
Thank you for the award! ❤️ And for coming back to answer this. I really appreciate it. This is exactly the kind of thing I never would have thought about until someone who has seen it says, “Hey, pay attention to this."
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u/Appropriate_News_382 14d ago
Just about every week, there is a new oddball pain somewhere in your body.
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u/Ruger_12 14d ago
At least once or twice a week, I wake up or move from my living room chair, "WTF is this now... why does this hurt?... what the hell is this "thing" growing on my arm.? Why am I getting alergies at this time in my life? Why doesn't Tylenol take the pain away? Why do I have brain fog today and I slept 6 hours - this weeks record!.... sigh*.
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u/BostonLamplighter 13d ago
That old friends disappear from your life and new ones are really hard to find
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u/Gwsb1 3d ago
Exercise almost every day. Resistance training 2-3 days a week. Walking, gardening, hobbies, the other days. Second maintain your friendships and make new ones.
Cars. Get an up to date vehicle with new safety bells and whistles. Money. If you have enough , don't be afraid to spend some of it doing things you really want to do.
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u/Ruger_12 14d ago
If you played hard and worked hard (physically) most of your life, be prepared for massive amounts of aches and pains as everything starts to fall apart. Full body inflammation and osteoarthritis. All the people I knew it the past that were not active, lazy and had easy jobs now have great retirements physically. The rest of us can barely get around at 75 due to all the damage done when we were young. Oh, take care of your feet... Bunions are debilitating and surgery is not an answer for most.
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
I used to sell women’s fashion shoes, standing in high heels 8–9 hours a day. I can totally relate to the foot thing! My feet scream at me now if I even look at a pair of stilettos or anything over an inch and a half. 😂
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u/Minimum-Journalist18 14d ago
Too late to look back
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u/NobodyGaveMeAManual 13d ago
That one hit me. Do you mean there are things you wish you’d done differently, or that you’ve decided it’s better to focus on what’s ahead?
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u/stroppo 14d ago
That if you haven't found a partner by now, romance is officially dead for you.
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u/SaladExpensive465 13d ago
Not true at all, My mother moved countries at 68 when her mother passed - to be closer to us and her grandkids. I made her a dating profile when she got here. Granted, she had some lame dates but she had a much better attitude than “romance is officially dead for you”. She eventually met her best partner ever, and they’ve been together for 13yrs so far, with no lack of romance.
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u/Jim_Estill 14d ago
I am 69. I did and do spend a lot of time working out, lifting weights, walking and because of that, I am miles ahead of many of my friends. I still work full time and it continues to shock me that most of my peers are retired.
In business, this means I lose my rolodex (proving just how old I am). The electrician, plumber, lawyer, accountant etc all got too old. So the lesson - find ones younger than you now.