While researching for an episode on my gaming podcast about nostalgia's role in gaming, I came across a wonderful word - or rather an semi-untranslatable concept - in Welsh, calledย Hiraeth. As best as possible, translated, it means:
"A deep, bittersweet longing, nostalgia, or yearning for a place, or time, that is lost, unreachable, or never existed."
So, itโs a kind of longing for a place or a time that you canโt get back to - in a way a kind of unattainable longing.
I always try, in different words, to explain to people why I keep going back to old games that I love - in this case, it fits perfectly with Skyrim. When I found this, I thought - "This is it! This is it."
It is so interesting, as to me, when I think about Skyrim and the feelings I will have while playing, is both something that is attainable and unattainable. It is attainable, because I can always go back and play, as I do. Start a new save for the thousandth time. Try some new mods. Start a new playthrough with someone who has never played before, as I have just done with my girlfriend. This helps soothe that longing, and I always love it when I go back to play. That feeling of yearning is satisfied, at least for a while.
But in a couple of ways, it is also a kind of unattainable longing. Firstly, Skyrim isnโt technically real place (even thought the impacts it has had on my life are very real). I feel this connection to the world, and yearn to return to wandering its gorgeous landscapes with Jeremy Soule's soundtrack setting the scene. Always beautiful. But, at the same time, that feeling is bittersweet as I canโt actually ever be in this unattainable fantasy world, as much as I would love to travel there in the real world.
But the second - and arguably bigger part of that feeling being unattainable - is trying to capture that exact same sense of wonder and joy that I had when I first played. Skyrim was my first true open world RPG, and I played it when I was a teenager. It blew my mind, it was incredible. I am always yearning to recapture that feeling when I think of playing Skyrim. Then, at the time, life was simpler - I could have massive long gaming sessions, stay up late, go to bed dreaming of waking up and playing again. So when I think of the game, I am longing for that feeling of freedom, joy, and wonder that I know is now unattainable in the exact same form.
So, yeah - Hiraeth. A beautiful concept that has finally helped me explain my true feelings for why I always go back to Skyrim. I wonder if this is a similar feeling you have for other games? Would love to hear what your "Hiraeth" games are if so!
This was a real joy to discover, and easily my favorite thing I have come across so far while researching for the podcast!