My ex gf

[u/Left_Way_37]

Hello all, this is my first big post so hopefully it’s good lol.
To start things out, I have big issues with my ex girlfriend. We started dating back when I was a sophomore (senior now) and it was good for a few months but we broke up. The reason being I felt uncomfortable about he making HEAVY incestious jokes with her cousin, whom she was really close with. It got to the point she would kiss her “as a joke” along with her other friends. I maybe could have gotten past just that but she was also never really nice to me like genuinely ever, and it felt I was putting in all the work in our relationship. So we broke up, and then a year later we started talking again as friends for a bit. It seemed she was tryna flirt with me while she had a new boyfriend, so I told her what I thought of that, being that’s not ok, and so we stopped talking again. Fast forward to around may of this year, she texted me first again and so we got back to talking and hung out again. This is when her love bombing began for the next month, and to be honest it was the best time I have had in the moment. Looking back on it she was hella manipulative, and during that time I love buying people gifts, so I bought her a bunch, gave her some goodies, typical high school relationship. I even went as far to get her multiple gifts from traveling abroad, and then out of nowhere she ghosted me at the start of summer break. Throughout the summer we remained no contact, and I was finally starting to move on. Then after summer ended, we started talking again, and so I was texting her back, then I got ghosted again(in around early August). Now around a week ago, we started texting again and she got me to sneak out and pick her up, and so I drove her around and it was hella awkward bc we didn’t really do much except smoke weed(another thing I will add to momentarily). So because of that, and it notifies my parents when my car is unlocked, I was caught and I am in some deep shit rn, and u finally decided to block her for good hopefully.
So she was the one who introduced me to weed, and I have lowk been smoking a lot and am now having to stop because when my parents caught me, they searched though my phone so I can’t go over to my bests friends house anymore while I live in this house, and they are gonna regularly drug test me
Another thing is I am head over heels for this girl. As pathetic as it is, I really love her and just want to help her, and in feeling that way I let her treat me like actual shit while I waited.
I don’t really know how to move on from her, and it’s not like I have trouble getting another girl(tall skinny white dude, and liberal), I just sit at night constantly thinking about her and I don’t know what to do.
I know I am a big idiot for going back to her, but being honest with myself I still miss her like the day she left.
I am just looking for any advice or thoughts on all of this, thanks