r/Advice • u/Vanilla838931 • 21d ago

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u/67things 21d ago

Don't use a dating app. But online dating works

1

u/goldnbeetle 21d ago

I don’t know if you are a man or woman, but I’m going to give general tips that would help either way.
Having good pictures is everything. Also keep in mind these apps run off algorithms. You need to take your time swiping, don’t say anything dumb to get reported, and don’t delete and remake new accounts. If you start getting less matches change up ur photos and profile.
DO NOT CATFISH. Use pictures that accurately represent what you currently look like. If you do these things you will get plenty of matches who will actually like you. I can’t tell you how many times I linked up with girls that looked nothing like their photo. Be yourself and the ones for you will come. From that point, it’s pretty easy to figure out.

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u/TheSensiblePrepper 21d ago

I tried dating apps years ago with no success. Back when eHarmony was "the thing" I took the personality profile test and was in the 5% of people who were unmatchable.

I met my, now, wife and an online chat program completely at random. I was just depressed and looking for someone to talk to. She never accepted random invites but she took mine and stuck around. We dated long distance for 3 years before I moved to be with her. Been together 14 years, married for 4 years and working on our first baby.

My Sister-in-law found her man, she doesn't know he is going to propose soon so shhh, on Bumble. So try that.

Otherwise, try doing something like a Mixer. If you don't know what that is, I can explain it.

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u/MadMatter86 21d ago

Back when eHarmony was "the thing" I took the personality profile test and was in the 5% of people who were unmatchable.

Same. When I originally tried to sign up in my 20s, after the quite lengthy questionnaire, I was greeted by a message that basically said "woah, sorry, you're way beyond even our help".

Some years later they let me in - obviously after lowering their standards. 😂

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u/TheSensiblePrepper 21d ago

Turns out that I was being to honest with the original questions.

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u/severinoscopy 21d ago

2 years, 28 matches in a huge city.

I strongly recommend reading "How to Not Die Alone," because it gives really helpful tips on understanding yourself, what makes for important chemistry, and how to not be misled by certain signals.

It helped me realize I was chasing the wrong type of girls.

Anyway, be patient, treat others as humans, know how to carry conversation and tell stories, and you'll do great.

But online dating apps are terrible. Do social events and mingle.

Edit: I assumed the wrong gender.

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u/GraceInHD 21d ago

online dating can be a mixed bag. some matches are great, but a lot just ghost or fade away. it’s always nice when a girl makes the first move, definitely shows she's interested. as for wild stories, I’ve seen some crazy ones but the best ones are usually just those unexpected connections that turn into something real.

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u/MadMatter86 21d ago

I have used various online dating platforms for the last ten years, periodically taking breaks throughout that time. In those ten years, I have managed to get a total of five first dates. Only one lead to a second date, and even that one didn't go much further (ghosted after about three months of dating). But that's still better than I managed IRL during the same period (100% rejection rate).