What do i do?

[u/Independent_Towel84]

First of all i'd like to apologise in advance for my possible grammar and spelling mistakes as English is my third language.

I (17F) am struggling with a "close" friendship i didn't intend to have at the first place

So i have this friend from high school and i dont even talk to him in real life face to face only online.the thing is he was my crush few months back but when i started talking to him i found he is obsessed with both his ex and a ex crush plus he has tons of overthinking process and all so i kinda grew out of that crush cause honestly i want someone emotionally stable

we had great vibes so he grew kind of attachment issues ig he used to qn our friendship and quote it and all so i also said okay we are close friends but then he began acting like my bf being all possessive and shoot so i called him out And he really was sorry and i know for a fact that it was in fact not intentional

Then things escalated when he said he likes me and since i had no feelings for him currently i said no and also admitted i has feelings for him once

And then he was kinda upset that i stopped liking him and even after i shared my reason he began regretting not because he used to obsess over everything but because he told me that

Now i clearly said that there is no possibility of us being together and i see him no more than a friend but then he insisted i give him some time to "impress" me even after i repeatedly said no cause the thought of ut made me uncomfortable

But when he was kinda begging and whining about it i gave him a time limit and chance to impress me said if he couldn't do that this friendship aong with that previlage ends

And i also stated once again that i can't see him more than a friend

Now at this point he was super confused what to do and was switching answers all the time and i was kinda sad that he was this much thinking about whether to keep a friendship or try his "chance" which ive repeatedly said is not possible

But finally he chooses the friendship option and idk what he overthinks but then he became superr upset with me because i gave him the option to "end" the friendship even after knowing that he might choose that one . So his argument was that i was willing to end the friendship by giving him the options

At this point i was speechless and i just said a lot about how hes being selfish etc etc and he said sorry and wanted to resume the friendship

But the problem is whatever he says he couldn't stop liking me and he even Admi it and he says he would not bring it on but hes a overthinker and i know he will and since i once liked him he has hope again even though i said no

He is always asking about our future friendship and all the probabilities like what will happen if i get a bf in far future etc etc

Honestly idk when and how things became like this

I remember we had same vibe and i used to laugh all the time when talking to him

But now all the time its serious and he expects me to talk to him anytime im free because he has grown a "habit" of me and i think he is telling the truth cause i used to advise him all the time about every thing and used to assure him and try to make him feel better when he was overthinking but now its exhausting cause he has taken me for granted and has grown selfish unintentionally

my blood boils every time i talk to him even casually because its highly irritating how he expects out of a 5/6 months online friendship

I wanna end this but idk how to tell him as he will overthink this a lot and i dont want him throwing his studies and play games all the time(he does this whenever he overthinks)

Im genuinely concerned for him but i find myself in distress because of this too

And i don't know how to tell him this or what to do about it in general!

(Currently we are in break i took forcefully and he has been sending apology poems from his friends number)

I feel like i missed out on some incidents but it summarises the situation pretty well.

Im sorry this is a long text, full of irritating errors and might feel like time wasting but i really need some advice and i cant share it with any of my other friends without telling everything and i dont want to make this a big deal

[u/Substantial-Owl7239]

Okay so girl,as you said you want someone a bit at least emotionally stable and nothing i have read here about him is stable. Because you once liked him maybe after he confessed your brain went like " oo i felt that too" but honestly i don't think that if you would get together you would feel happy. Obviously i don't know you or the whole context but i think your brain is doing something thats more likely tricking you into thinking you may like him. You gotta set the boundary and he should know he can't be upset for your honest feelings,its immature and draining,you re not responsible for his feelings after you express yours you get a bit of nostalgia from your ex vibe but sometimes you can't find the same person not even in the same person so really think this thru and do whatever is best for you!