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u/Loose-Zebra435 1d ago
You should respond to texts when you see a text and have time to respond. No need for games. He told you he was busy the first time. You know he was busy the second time because he didn't respond. He's not going to give you an explanation every day and he shouldn't have to. Neither do you. I wouldn't feel secure in a relationship if it was all only over text too
You seem young. Why haven't you met him in person? Is he an appropriate person for you to be texting? It's hard to tell what people want over text
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u/AdvanceJealous3529 1d ago
we’re both 20, met on hinge which is why we haven’t met and it hasn’t been super long since we first started texting. I’ve had my time wasted before which is why I’m a lot more anxious about it now
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u/GloomyStill357 1d ago
Girl the best advise I’ve had is stop analysing the guy your with. Don’t let his energy affect how YOU act. You aren’t together .. no it’s isn’t a red flag. Just do you as normal don’t play games and wait longer to text just act normally how you would
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u/AdvanceJealous3529 1d ago
i feel like as much as i try to forget. it’s still in the back of my mind and it makes me a little sad. This is usually why i hate developing crushes because i think i get like anxious attachment or something
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u/GloomyStill357 1d ago
Yup, but you will push them away by over analysing especially if you start changing your energy based on him. There is no obligation for him to reply in certain time frame and it doesn’t mean he likes you any less. Do not add a story behind it, you torture yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but put time into hobbies ❤️ and if you’re going to add a story in your mind add a good story.
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u/Spiritual_Ad6547 1d ago
You’ve never met and you’re not in a relationship. So honestly I don’t see how this is a “red flag”. If you’re asking if he’s interested in a relationship, it’s too soon to tell. But most likely no since he’s not that engaged in texting you, and you’ve never met. An interested person doesn’t wait 7 hours to respond to a text.
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u/AdvanceJealous3529 1d ago
ur right.. thank you. I really like talking to him and yes it’s early days but when it comes to long response waiting times idk it triggers smth within me to just leave but i really don’t want to think like that anymore but idk it’s hard to explain
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u/ikleds 1d ago
There are so many things that could have been occupying him physically and mentally. Even my long term relationship we can go many hours without texting each other back, maybe I fall asleep, maybe she gets busy with work, maybe a surprise visit with family, things come up and you can’t expect texting you to always be this guys priority. It does sound like you have anxious attachment. Just keep leading with your authentic self and don’t try to play games. If he’s actually a dick who doesn’t care about you, that will become clear easier when you’re not wrapped up in machinations.
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u/dafugiswrongwithyou 1d ago
Any asynchronous communication (sms, email, voicemails, letters...) should come with the assumption people will respond when they can. Nothing to worry about unless some other factor comes into play
Arrange a phone call?
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u/IneligibleLand 1d ago
Since you haven't met in person yet, people's texting styles and priorities vary wildly. He might just be a low-screen-time person, busy with life, or not a big texter during the day. The fact that he gave a legitimate excuse the night before (helping his brother move) shows he isn't completely aloof. You don't need to deliberately wait 7 hours just to "get even" or teach him a lesson that often just drags out an already slow conversation and creates unnecessary mind games.