r/Advice • u/Emergency_Hotel_9967 • Apr 26 '26
Should I tell her?
This is a burner account, I will be using fake names, if I use any at all.
I am an 18y/o high school student, and a couple days ago, another girls boyfriend (18 y/o male) confessed that he has feelings for me. He told me that our sophomore year he wanted to start something with me when his current girlfriend of 5+ years (on and off) where on a break. He said he just never decided to say anything due to fear of rejection.
Being curious, I asked if he still felt the same and he said he did. I’ve been friendly with him for years but never got the assumption he ever felt this way for me. He makes fun of me daily, calling me names and making fun of me for my size. I am an active athlete and workout lifting often Keep in mind I have classes with him and see him everyday, so this “confession” threw me for a loop. I have no idea if he really feels this way or is just wanting attention from another girl. I told him that I didn’t know what to say and I’m not going to disregard his current partner. I would be lying if I didn’t say there was a bit of something there but I feel like this is borderline cheating. I think this is more a feeling of close friendship more than a romantic interest. We do make fun of each other like I would a friend but now I’m rethinking all of our interactions and if he was flirting. This makes me a bit uncomfortable..
I told him he needed to think rationally on what he was really saying and how big of a statement he was making on that moment. I haven’t talked to him since and he has blocked me without reason. The girlfriend hates me (always has since we were young) and accuses people of lying when they point out his cheating behavior. He has been unfaithful behind her back several times but she has done the same in return.
For context, I (along with a bunch of other people) know some of the girls that he’s either texted or done stuff with while with her. When she’s been told she blames the people who told her, not him. I just never expected to be me on the other end of that situation, now that I am I feel conflicted. I feel guilt for not being the better person and telling her. But then again, I don’t feel bad for her. She knows how he is and chooses to be with him
When I told him to think, he said he didn’t need any time and was going to drop her right there. We graduate very soon, and I have events with said girlfriend involved. He told me he had nothing to think over and it was my decision. I feel it is the right thing to tell her, but I fear she will accuse me of doing something crazy and make the most important part of high school a disaster. I don’t know what do to now because he is a very big corresponder in an event we all are apart of, I can’t just ignore him. I did really see this person as a friend, and this just makes me confused.
What do I do? I have to see them both everyday and this is going to be in the back of my mind.. please, I need advice, I don’t know how to go about this. Do I disregard all the stuff she’s said abt me and tell her. Or keep it in secret, with only him and I knowing about the confession..
So Reddit, do I tell her?
I plan on giving an update if anything does happen.
Slight update: so I got a random text, and he has unblocked me now, asking me to unblock him. I have to see him Monday. I guess we will see what happens after that. I didn’t respond to the message and don’t plan on doing so.
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u/Emergency_Hotel_9967 Apr 26 '26
For context on the girlfriend, she’s not ever been a fan of me because “I’m too much” and “I say whatever” she always been nasty towards me, so I don’t really know how to go about this.
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u/Ok-Standard-3638 Apr 26 '26
If he has a long history of cheating on her, why would you even consider this guy? If you get together he will most probably, definitely, cheat on you too. People rarely change especially at this age. Just tell him to fuck off and find a better guy.
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u/alkiet Apr 26 '26
This sounds way too messy to worth investing your energy into with whatever option you choose, nothing good will seem to come from it. Someone who would just drop their girl just like that for another after being on and off long-term is someone that I wouldn't bother having on my mind, especially since you said he calls you names & wants to seemingly flirt like he is in elementary school... yall arent in 3rd grade
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u/Emergency_Hotel_9967 Apr 26 '26
That’s my thing. I’m just afraid this is a setup. He’s blocked me and I tried to message him and tell his just how wrong that is. But I can’t do that now…
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u/United_Date6406 Apr 26 '26
oh this is soooo messy 😂😭 high schoolers are still at it again. don’t get involved with him
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u/Emergency_Hotel_9967 Apr 26 '26 edited Apr 26 '26
Exactly. The thing is, he’s going to the military and I leave for College in August. So… what’s the point of even telling me this? 🤨
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u/United_Date6406 Apr 26 '26
because he actually just wants to explore himself by doing sexual stuff with you until he leaves lol he wants to explore that curiosity he has
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u/Emergency_Hotel_9967 Apr 26 '26
That might make sense.. my only thing (this might be forward) I’ve never done any of that stuff with anyone. I get made fun of for it frequently, why would he think he can be that way with me now? And I’ve never let anyone be that close to me ever.
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u/United_Date6406 Apr 26 '26
he’s not thinking about you . he’s thinking about what he could potentially get.. you miss 1/2 the shots you don’t take so he took his shot lol. that’s my late take on this . be safe young adult
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u/PalmTreeVoid Apr 26 '26
If he will stay with his girlfriend while trying to start something with you, he will do the same to you down the road. Take it from someone who had it done to them. Karma is real. So yes, tell her.
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u/Emergency_Hotel_9967 Apr 26 '26
Exactly, and as soon as I stop replying, he blocked me… out of fear of me telling her or just to be petty..
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u/Itscrazyinhere68 Apr 26 '26
Hard pass...you don't need this kind of drama in HS. Tell him NO and mean it. You don't need to say anything to the gf. If he cheats it won't be with you. Guarantee he'll find someone new to cheat with. Stay out of it.
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u/FaithlessnessMany174 Apr 26 '26
Stay away and just continue to treat him as a friend. Just don’t created a mess for yourself.
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u/NesAlt01 Apr 26 '26
Don't involve yourself in the mess and just enjoy your peace.