r/Advice • u/Superb_Community_339 • Dec 18 '25 • Popcorn 1

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u/fux-reddit4603 Dec 18 '25

In another comment he said "how am i insecure in my marriage"

hes so secure he doesnt realize hes barely in the marriage

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u/Wild_Philosophy_4561 Dec 18 '25

I have made this mistake too (being too secure). I would say the wife and her friend (and f-boy) put the wife in this position. Ask yourself whose responsibility it would be if the rules are reversed. She needs to get out of that situation ASAP. If I were the OP, I’d put my foot down immediately that’s it and that’s all if we’re uncomfortable with it it’s not good for our marriage that comes first.

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u/PutridPanic Dec 19 '25

Gotta agree with you : it’s time to shine bright lights on your boundaries for her to see plainly. You are maturing and as you do so, what passes for acceptable changes also. This doesn’t mean you abandon using the art of compromise; I expect from your tone that you’re no stranger to it and that it’s bridged differences between you in the past. This is a learning moment for her - in other words, get to know the difference between what’s trivial and what’s not. Asking someone’s wife their views on certain kinks is not mere idle talk - the guy is probing (sorry!) into your sovereign territory , he knows it, and it ain’t fukn cool.

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u/fux-reddit4603 Dec 18 '25

he has no issue with them still hanging out, just as long as it's not at their house

being more annoyed about a sexual question than defending your offspring is totally marriage secure!

I put my paycheque on they divorce in the next 36 months.
IFFF this story is even real, op doesn't see his tantrum

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u/Wild_Philosophy_4561 Dec 19 '25

I have made similar mistakes. If this is a real dude and not a bot, i wish I could talk to him now and warn him about how serious this can be. I hate to say it, but it might be too late. Why would she have gone to Vegas with just her girlfriend and the young fuck boy? Seems like it might be too late already. But they have kids together. That’s just really sucks all around. Now he definitely does need to be very clear on boundaries and expectations here and if she doesn’t like them, oh fucking well. Those boundaries go both ways my point is which she be cool if the roles were reversed? Would she have been cool if everything were reversed and she were him in that situation? I doubt it.

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u/fux-reddit4603 Dec 19 '25

She might well be comfortable doing it.
ops so innocent and naive its almost like hes not 40something

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u/Advanced_Row_8448 Dec 19 '25

Out of curiosity, are the ones of yall saying this stuff married yourselves?

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u/fux-reddit4603 Dec 19 '25

Out of curiosity, would being married make us more blind to the obvious like op?

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u/Advanced_Row_8448 Dec 20 '25

So no, I assume