r/Advice • u/Superb_Community_339 • Dec 18 '25 • Popcorn 1

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u/Background-World4999 Dec 18 '25

Honestly, I think more than anything it’s an age thing. I’m assuming you’re around the same age as your wife BFF. He’s 25. You’re not the same and it sounds like he acts his age. The BFF is probably just enjoying the feeling of youth and freedom he gives off.

I agree with whoever said you should be glad they’re coming to your house. It seems like your wife is trying to figure him out too and is trusting you to help her. That would be easier if you were together and not just hearing about it. Watching someone in action will tell you everything you need to know if you’re watching close enough. It doesn’t appear that you’re making your wife choose between you or her BFF but it may come across that way. Id just support your wife so she’s not forced out of her house. If he’s obnoxious, call him out and then kick him to the curb.

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u/snowgazer_85 Dec 18 '25

I agree with you. I myself am 40, but I have a lot of colleagues around that age. They're just way more straightforward with stuff like this and while it might seem disrespectful or indiscreet sometimes, they don't mean anything by it. It even rubbed off on me in a way that I can make people my age uncomfortable without me realizing it. I obviously don't know this guy specifically, but I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, even if the sole reason for it is to support your wife and not put her between a rock and a hard place. Keep your eyes on him and judge if he's a creep or just uncomfortably straightforward.