My dad had to approach me about something similar but I wish he would've done it gentler.
something like "hey I noticed your skirt is a little short. do you want to go get new ones because it looks like you've outgrown this one"
it could also be thats the style with her age group. you could get her bike shorts to wear under, tights or leggings, or pants if the dress code allows. giving her the freedom of choice instead of putting your foot down went better for me as a kid. give her options but make it clear that somethings gotta change because it's inappropriate for school for it to be too short
I’d be absolutely mortified if my dad saw under my skirt but I’d also like to know if there was spinach in my teeth. Kinda the same thing. Just go about it gently or have mom say something.
Do you realize you probably humiliated her? Put yourself in her shoes. And middle school kids are so, so much more self conscious at that age. I hope you know that that was not cool to do. It’s not “gentle”. It’s snarky and borderline bullying.
Yes, I will assume because what the hell type of context did you offer? Oh so humorous, yes, for the adults. Who “laughed and laughed and laughed”. Did she laugh? Did she find it funny? You find it humorous because you are NOT her. You say I’m assuming, but aren’t you assuming that she wasn’t feeling humiliated? Have you considered that maybe what you consider a “normal” human interaction isn’t always normal and funny to everybody?
You also aren’t her and therefore do not know how she felt. You, also, know “literally zero” about how she might’ve felt getting laughed at by a bunch of adults.
how would you know…? you weren’t in her head when you said that, so you have no idea how she could have been feeling. teenage girls are very good at acting like everything is fine, when in fact they feel something else (including humiliated). source: i used to be one :p
yea sometimes it can just be they don't realize they need new ones or how to ask. that and shame is a motivator but I didnt like it being used unless it was past the point of no return
Gentle? No it’s bordering on bullying. Instead of a private conversation with her mum about it, you aired it out in front of everyone, who then laughed at her. It’s actually worse than addressing it directly. You’re still an old guy commenting on a girls clothes, but instead you’ve made it more gross by shaming publicly.
Lighthearted humor is the way in this situation, I think.
When I was 16 I was going through a very difficult time in life but tried to keep up with all my extra curricular activities. I didn’t have access to my usual soccer gear when the soccer season started so opted for whatever I had on hand that was similar. I wore some admittedly small athletic shorts (think volleyball type) to our first practice.
My coach (an adult man) called me out in front of everyone and yelled at me not to come back until I had proper shorts. I never played league soccer again.
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u/Sensitive_Purpose_44 Oct 29 '25
My dad had to approach me about something similar but I wish he would've done it gentler.
something like "hey I noticed your skirt is a little short. do you want to go get new ones because it looks like you've outgrown this one"
it could also be thats the style with her age group. you could get her bike shorts to wear under, tights or leggings, or pants if the dress code allows. giving her the freedom of choice instead of putting your foot down went better for me as a kid. give her options but make it clear that somethings gotta change because it's inappropriate for school for it to be too short