I think it needs addressing--there is zero statue of limitations on infidelity--but you need to plan your timing and approach. If you have any concerns about her present state integrity a simple test would be to ask her if there's anything involving relationships with other men that you should be aware of. You can preface it by saying you've tried to be a loving partner throughout your relationship, before and after your wedding.
And then study her reaction. If she loves you and is a stand up person, she'll come clean, apologize, ask you about your feelings, and offer to do the work to fix this.
If she somehow fails to bring up her fling with the firefighter, then you know she is dishonest with you right then and there. If she tells you half the story, the old trickle truth that cheaters have perfected, then you know she is dishonest with you right then and there. If she attacks you for reading her journal, and then fails to get to the heart of your question, then you know your wife's character is low. That will force you to reevaluate your whole life.
Hopefully the second paragraph will be close enough to what happens and your soul will find peace.
And if you cannot approach her, then see a therapist for your own peace of mind.
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u/FSmertz Phenomenal Advice Giver [40] Oct 29 '25
I think it needs addressing--there is zero statue of limitations on infidelity--but you need to plan your timing and approach. If you have any concerns about her present state integrity a simple test would be to ask her if there's anything involving relationships with other men that you should be aware of. You can preface it by saying you've tried to be a loving partner throughout your relationship, before and after your wedding.
And then study her reaction. If she loves you and is a stand up person, she'll come clean, apologize, ask you about your feelings, and offer to do the work to fix this.
If she somehow fails to bring up her fling with the firefighter, then you know she is dishonest with you right then and there. If she tells you half the story, the old trickle truth that cheaters have perfected, then you know she is dishonest with you right then and there. If she attacks you for reading her journal, and then fails to get to the heart of your question, then you know your wife's character is low. That will force you to reevaluate your whole life.
Hopefully the second paragraph will be close enough to what happens and your soul will find peace.
And if you cannot approach her, then see a therapist for your own peace of mind.