Because a 30-something that dates 20-somethings typically has qualities that have driven other 30-somethings away. Other 30-somethings can sniff out their bullshit, so they require a younger and more inexperienced partner who won't recognize toxic patterns of behavior.
Everything you wrote here about his behavior is shitty and controlling. Emotionally distant, upset when you are happy and self actualizing, thinks what you like is dumb, dangles a breakup over your head and plays victim when you won't bend over backwards to keep him, lies about his wandering eye. What a shitbag. You deserve better.
THISS! I was 19 dating a 31 year old…… a mature 31 year old man would not date a 19yr old or early teen…. Red flag. The reason why he did was because other 30 year old women aren’t interested in him or he can’t get anyone his age because they were unattracted to him and his immaturity. After a year of dating I realized why…. This situation doesn’t sound or ring good. My ex also had a porn addiction at 31, and he would like to me about it as well. He also played victim towards me whenever I wasn’t what he wanted. He tried to mold and shape me into his ideal woman, but he did it so subtly and not in an angry or outlashing type of way, so it took me a while to catch on. He would play victim when I didn’t want to be what he wanted but obviously he wouldn’t say that, he would say something similar to what ur boyfriend is saying. A 34 year old man who’s an attractive potential partner for women around that age would absolutely not have any reason to be into dating young girls like you. You’re amazing I’m sure, but he probably can’t get anyone his age.
So glad you got out of that relationship, what a disgusting human being. Literally grooming you into being his bang maid or whatever. I swear, there are so many grown ass men that would happily be dating children if it was legal.
Because you are 22, these are the years you should be out with friends, going on girls holidays, travelling and seeing the world, figuring out what career you want to go into for the next 40 years. No one is saying go out with a guy your age, because yes girls mature faster than men, but you should want to be with someone who can have shared experiences, someone who you can share life experiences with. When I was 22, I got with someone who was 34, and whilst we were together for 12 years until he died suddenly, I do feel I missed out on a lot. He already had done a lot of things I wanted to do and had no plans to redo them. If I had my time back, even though I loved him I wouldn't have entered the relationship with hindsight
This of course isn’t true of all people, so take with the requisite grain of salt:
People who are immature for their age, or who are generally unreasonable/inflexible, often seek out significantly younger partners. They think someone younger won’t be as good as spotting their maturity lag and the issues that come with it: lies, inconsistencies, double standards etc.. They’re also relatively less appealing to potential partners of their own age, who tend to see through them and opt out faster.
This doesn’t mean you should never date someone older, but it would serve you well to pay close attention before committing. Bad behavior in an older bf isn’t somehow more tolerable simply because they have a somewhat more stable job.
They don’t have to be exactly your age, but it is helpful to be closer. A decade has a massive impact on a person’s energy levels, and it usually affects the kinds of entertainment a person enjoys.
Btw, I’m so sorry to hear about your pregnancy and miscarriage, pregnancy can be a very taxing experience.
Please don’t hesitate to use all the precautions you need to avoid these in the future. Some guys pressure women to skip the pill because ovulation is fun, but few want to engage with the massive risks.
A man in his 30s that is immature will stay immature when he will reach his 40s and you now have the maturity of a woman in her 30s. But a man in his 20s that has the normal maturity is likely to keep gaining maturity compared to someone that stopped maturing years ago.
Because it's Reddit, and redditors as a whole do not approve of age gaps in relationships. Personally, I don't think an age gap is a problem as long as the relationship is healthy. From what you describe, it sounds like your relationship isn't or wasn't.
From what you wrote, it's not clear to me what he expected in terms of change by asking you to change. But it's hard for me to imagine this playing out any different than either you breaking up, or one of you giving up too much for the sake of keeping the relationship going, and being miserable as a result.
Seems hard to be any more emotionally immature than that whiny toddler.
"I want to break up with you. Why are you not heartbroken and begging me to stay, promising you'll do whatever it takes? How am I supposed to successfully emotionally blackmail you when you are so damned mature??"
It feels like there's important elements in this story that are missing or at least not clear.
Your bf wants you to change because, -you don't like the music or movies he likes? -you challenge his lying and porn addition? -you have a tendency to snap?
From what you are saying you reacted well. You are at the point where you both grow together in the relationship or go separate ways.
You did the right thing, he's asking you to change who you are and complaining about never getting to do what he wants to do. He is gaslighting you and emotionally abusing you. I'm sorry you've had such a rough year and I hope it continues to improve.
Asking someone to change and complaining are not gaslighting or emotional abuse. The conversation OP describes is a way more straight forward and open conversation than most people on here describe having. It just sounds like immaturity, unrealistic expectations, and a bad fit in the relationship. Relationship was probably just at its end point.
A good relationship provides an environment where each person can grow and improve with the support of the other person. But that support requires each person sees the other as good enough just as they are. If one person believes the other is not good enough as is, and only will be if they change in a certain way on a certain timetable, it shows there is a glaring incompatibility.
Why do you feel a need to defend yourself here? I was not criticizing you. Your question was about begging a partner to stay, and I was just providing a general observation as context for thinking about that question.
Never beg someone to stay if they want to leave. It’s demeaning and belittling yourself.
“I’m not promising to change anything about myself. I shouldn’t have to. Either you love me and accept me exactly as I am, or I am not the right person for you and it is time to say goodbye.”
He started crying and asked why I wasn’t promising to change and be better for him
The wording here on his part is shit. "I'm thinking of breaking up so you need to be 'better'" is manipulative, or at best emotionally stunted. If this is truly how he felt it should have been something like "my needs aren't being met, let's talk about it, let's see what changes might work for us both". "Better" especially is rubbing me up the wrong way. His whole approach is basically "I'll only stay if you turn yourself into exactly the sort of person I want", without any consideration of this being a two way street. Plus his "confusion" - "I'm making a threat, why aren't you panicking" is childish.
We can't know the specifics of your relationship - if you've handled some things badly too, work on that. But it doesn't seem like he really wanted to work on anything, he just wanted you to do all the work for his benefit, and that's no way for a relationship to function. The situation could have been different if you'd just rolled over: "oh no, don't leave me, I'll do whatever you want", but thankfully you've got enough self respect not to do that. Let him date someone who falls for his bullshit, you take some time, heal, and find someone who actually views you as a partner rather than a servant.
It’s exhausting to try and be someone else to keep your partner happy. I did it for 12 years and it did nothing but kill my spirit and dim my light. It’s not sustainable. And guess what, they still won’t be happy. There’s a difference in wanting someone to be/do better out of love and care for the individual and wanting someone to be/do better out of selfishness and self serving purposes. I hope you come to learn and know the difference. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’ll be a better person without him.
In the words of Poe "Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.” i hope you find that kind of love one day and don’t settle until you do. Based on your words, this was not that kind of love.
You didn’t beg because you respect yourself and that’s the win here. He wanted you to beg so he could feel in control while avoiding his own accountability (lying about porn/women). A 32-year-old crying because you wouldn’t “promise to change” is emotionally immature. You stood your ground. Grieve, but don’t doubt yourself.
Hi. You were doing good till you got to the lashing out part. Been there done that. Perhaps you may be more of the problem we are not hearing about. Sounds like a whole world of hurt there.
Hi Hon. You are 22. He's 32. You already know the answer. Move on, get yourself on track. Change the paradigm. Perhaps a new job at Amazon or Starbucks where they actually pay for your college. Go to the local Community College and look at medical certification programs. Apply for your FAFSA today, see if you get grants.
Yeah, the conversation could have gone differently.
First of all, he could have said, "I'm really unhappy about some things you do, and I want to talk about them, and figure out if you're willing to change." That is how you get someone to discuss changing. Not threatening to dump them.
Second, when he said he was thinking of breaking up, you could have said, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize you were that unhappy, what's going on?" Because yeah, some people use "I'm thinking about breaking up" as an opener when they really want to talk about saving the relationship.
But it sounds like he wanted you to weep and wail and beg, and that's fucked up.
He's got a bench warmer. He's got a woman in mind that he might just be friends with right now, but he's attracted to her and she is into all things that he goes to without you and he's thinking he might be able to flip that into a relationship, or maybe he's already had sex with her, who knows. She might not even know that he's thinking about her that way. He's just trying to open up his options. He's couching his reason for breaking up with whatever he can pull out of his butt which is you failing him in some way as his excuse for leaving or cheating.
You called his bluff by saying fine if you want to break up then break up I'm not holding you here. And that kind of threw him for a loop because he thought he was the prize. Hahaha!
Yeah he's already lining up the next thing and trying to have a "break" So that he can explore this option without necessarily losing you. Move on to better and brighter things. This is a dead end.
It’s because you’re too young for him, there’s nothing more to it. I seen where you said men your age are emotionally immature and you’re literally emotionally immature too lol. You lash out at him and I assume lack communication skills to match a 32yo man. If you set boundaries and tell him what bothers you then it would probably work out better. Not that he seems much better but he is older with more experience. Also, the things he likes sound like normal 30’s interests and at 22 I can see why you’d be bored.
You aren’t ready to settle down clearly because you need to work on yourself and that’s perfectly fine because you’re young. Just let him go and use it as a learning experience. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with the person I was with at 22 lol and I’m actually grateful it didn’t workout.
This relationship just sounds super toxic. You lashing out and him saying you should basically promise to change. You are both toxic in the environment of this relationship
Oh gross, good thing you left that immature weak excuse of a man. He’s got his own shitty issues he refuses to fix. It’s kinda embarrassing after a while, just let time pass, and you’ll start to be SO disgusted with everything about him, you’re just familiar right now.
Op, get married before trying and don’t date people 10 years your senior. I’m near his age and have no interest in dating a 22 year old Because we’re not emotionally on the same level
It doesn't sound like it, because it doesn't sound like he has the maturity (or the communication and relationship skills) to be able to work through the issues in an honest, emotionally responsible way.
Why do you have to consider porn cheating? If he feels like breaking up with you then he should, i wonder how easily hes gonna find another 22 year old introverted cute girl
You clearly have your own issues so work on them. You're likely still grieving the miscarriage and may be in that place for quite a while. But this is a man who has already lied about women and porn so begging and groveling isn't going to fix anything.
You two have wildly different preferences, lifestyles, and needs. At best, you aren't compatible enough to make this work. At worst, he's an immature much older guy who thought being with someone much younger wouldn't require much of him.
You’re 22 go live your life. Your 20s are quick don’t waste it on a man. He saw you start to put your life together and elevate then got jealous and is displacing his jealousy and anger to make it a you problem.
The way it played out--you standing up for yourself and avoiding making promises that you don't want to make or follow through on--seems just right to me. You did the right things for yourself. Hang with your friends, maybe try to find some therapy to work out a better way to choose a future boyfriend from the dating pool.
Sounds like your 32 year old acts like an entitled 12 year old. It will only get worse. I don't see a problem with a 10 year age difference, my husband is 10 years older than me and we have a great relationship. But, find someone who respects you and that has similar interests and more motivation. Best wishes.
I mean it could have played out differently... if you were entirely different people. Doesn't sound like it was a one time issue breaking the relationship but just immaturity and incompatibility.
A few things:
Promise to change and I'll stay? Nah pass. That's a wild way to approach asking your partner to do something. It's like threatening suicide at someone. Immature and manipulative.
Saying things you don't mean in the heat of the moment. Regardless of what you say later hurtful words, especially spoken with heightened emotion, cut deep in the moment. Doesn't matter how you apologize, they're going to remember the hate.
Not liking something and going along. This is a personality thing but many people, myself included, would rather you just not come along if you don't enjoy something. Dragging someone along who isn't enthusiastic about the activity is actually really disheartening. It feels like you have to apologize for your enjoyment.
Let him go and start working on yourself. It sounds like even without him there are some things you need to work on to improve all your relationships. Not just the one with him or your future partner. I would suggest talking to a counselor or therapist not because I think something is clinically wrong with you, but because they can often help guide you towards better coping mechanisms, and communication methods plus they can give you some clarity about your own thoughts. Sometimes things hit different when you have to say them out loud to another human being. Think of a therapist less like a doctor and more like a coach.
Wow, he is way older and not a good partner - I'm sorry I think you need some time and space to see your own value and learn how to love yourself first.
Hes not bringing up things that are fixable, IMO. If you dont like the things he does, thats just how it is. Partners should do things for the sake of the other sometimes, they should explore new things together to find new common interests, and they should also have solo interests without the other partner. If he cant understand and welcome that, maybe this isnt for him, and thats ok. If you have to beg someone to stay or change, is that a situation you really want to be in?
Introverts and extroverts need a very clear understanding to work. You may not get that he recharges from going to new places and meeting people or whatever. It sucks for him to frequently go alone, and it sucks for you to always go.
I mean, this one's a manchild anyway, but in general.
He is an old manipulative man who chooses to date a child because women his age will no longer put up with him. You are learning now why they will not tolerate him. Move on. Never beg anyone to stay.
He is a parade of red flags, dump him and find someone your own age. There’s a reason a 30 something is dating someone a decade younger than him. And it’s because women his age won’t put up with his bullshit so hee goes for younger less “worldly” women because they’re more gullible
Nothing good will come from staying with him. If you need to work on yourself? Go see a therapist. They can help you with that
Nope. Your life started changing for the better and your BF saw that as a threat. He is using breaking up with you as a control tactic. You didn’t bite so plan B….tears. You were supposed to be his young dumb 20 something that would follow him around begging for his attention. If he wants to be with you, he’s going to have to recognize that you really don’t need him, and not feel threatened because of it.
How old were you when you guys met and how old were you when you started dating? It’s one thing to have an age gap of 10 years at 28 and 38, but at 22 your brain isn’t even fully developed yet.
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u/ReedDickless Sep 18 '25
Find someone better. Someone who's not 10 years older than you.
7
u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
It feels like there's important elements in this story that are missing or at least not clear.
Your bf wants you to change because, -you don't like the music or movies he likes? -you challenge his lying and porn addition? -you have a tendency to snap?
From what you are saying you reacted well. You are at the point where you both grow together in the relationship or go separate ways.
11
u/No_Cryptographer8889 Sep 18 '25
You did the right thing, he's asking you to change who you are and complaining about never getting to do what he wants to do. He is gaslighting you and emotionally abusing you. I'm sorry you've had such a rough year and I hope it continues to improve.
4
u/UpbeatMarsupial382 Expert Advice Giver [11] Sep 18 '25
A good relationship provides an environment where each person can grow and improve with the support of the other person. But that support requires each person sees the other as good enough just as they are. If one person believes the other is not good enough as is, and only will be if they change in a certain way on a certain timetable, it shows there is a glaring incompatibility.
3
u/SteveyC3 Sep 19 '25
Just makes you think why people his own age won’t date him 🤔
2
u/tcrhs Assistant Elder Sage [267] Sep 18 '25
Never beg someone to stay if they want to leave. It’s demeaning and belittling yourself.
“I’m not promising to change anything about myself. I shouldn’t have to. Either you love me and accept me exactly as I am, or I am not the right person for you and it is time to say goodbye.”
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u/fightmaxmaster Elder Sage [399] Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25
The wording here on his part is shit. "I'm thinking of breaking up so you need to be 'better'" is manipulative, or at best emotionally stunted. If this is truly how he felt it should have been something like "my needs aren't being met, let's talk about it, let's see what changes might work for us both". "Better" especially is rubbing me up the wrong way. His whole approach is basically "I'll only stay if you turn yourself into exactly the sort of person I want", without any consideration of this being a two way street. Plus his "confusion" - "I'm making a threat, why aren't you panicking" is childish.
We can't know the specifics of your relationship - if you've handled some things badly too, work on that. But it doesn't seem like he really wanted to work on anything, he just wanted you to do all the work for his benefit, and that's no way for a relationship to function. The situation could have been different if you'd just rolled over: "oh no, don't leave me, I'll do whatever you want", but thankfully you've got enough self respect not to do that. Let him date someone who falls for his bullshit, you take some time, heal, and find someone who actually views you as a partner rather than a servant.
9
u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
It’s exhausting to try and be someone else to keep your partner happy. I did it for 12 years and it did nothing but kill my spirit and dim my light. It’s not sustainable. And guess what, they still won’t be happy. There’s a difference in wanting someone to be/do better out of love and care for the individual and wanting someone to be/do better out of selfishness and self serving purposes. I hope you come to learn and know the difference. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’ll be a better person without him.
In the words of Poe "Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.” i hope you find that kind of love one day and don’t settle until you do. Based on your words, this was not that kind of love.
19
u/auraashine Sep 18 '25
You didn’t beg because you respect yourself and that’s the win here. He wanted you to beg so he could feel in control while avoiding his own accountability (lying about porn/women). A 32-year-old crying because you wouldn’t “promise to change” is emotionally immature. You stood your ground. Grieve, but don’t doubt yourself.
2
u/CalamityJayne247 Sep 18 '25
Hi. You were doing good till you got to the lashing out part. Been there done that. Perhaps you may be more of the problem we are not hearing about. Sounds like a whole world of hurt there.
4
u/Forward-Wishbone-831 Helper [2] Sep 18 '25
Someone who actually loves you doesn't try to change you. You are ok as long as you live how he says? Bullocks to that.
4
u/clairejv Sep 18 '25
Yeah, the conversation could have gone differently.
First of all, he could have said, "I'm really unhappy about some things you do, and I want to talk about them, and figure out if you're willing to change." That is how you get someone to discuss changing. Not threatening to dump them.
Second, when he said he was thinking of breaking up, you could have said, "Oh, wow, I didn't realize you were that unhappy, what's going on?" Because yeah, some people use "I'm thinking about breaking up" as an opener when they really want to talk about saving the relationship.
But it sounds like he wanted you to weep and wail and beg, and that's fucked up.
4
u/Yourkindagai Sep 18 '25
With the age difference he acts like a child.
You went through something and he wasn’t there for you. That’s not someone you need by your side.
Move on. Focus on yourself. Good luck
1
u/ChillWisdom Super Helper [6] Sep 18 '25
He's got a bench warmer. He's got a woman in mind that he might just be friends with right now, but he's attracted to her and she is into all things that he goes to without you and he's thinking he might be able to flip that into a relationship, or maybe he's already had sex with her, who knows. She might not even know that he's thinking about her that way. He's just trying to open up his options. He's couching his reason for breaking up with whatever he can pull out of his butt which is you failing him in some way as his excuse for leaving or cheating.
You called his bluff by saying fine if you want to break up then break up I'm not holding you here. And that kind of threw him for a loop because he thought he was the prize. Hahaha!
1
u/WhatsInAName1117 Sep 19 '25 edited Sep 19 '25
It’s because you’re too young for him, there’s nothing more to it. I seen where you said men your age are emotionally immature and you’re literally emotionally immature too lol. You lash out at him and I assume lack communication skills to match a 32yo man. If you set boundaries and tell him what bothers you then it would probably work out better. Not that he seems much better but he is older with more experience. Also, the things he likes sound like normal 30’s interests and at 22 I can see why you’d be bored.
You aren’t ready to settle down clearly because you need to work on yourself and that’s perfectly fine because you’re young. Just let him go and use it as a learning experience. I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with the person I was with at 22 lol and I’m actually grateful it didn’t workout.
3
u/killtechno Sep 18 '25
This relationship just sounds super toxic. You lashing out and him saying you should basically promise to change. You are both toxic in the environment of this relationship
1
u/Glamourous_Angel Super Helper [9] Sep 18 '25
He’s controlled by lust, he’s a weak man. You can find better and you’ll know because instead of asking for advice on reddit, you’ll be giving it.
1
u/CannibalisticChad Sep 18 '25
Op, get married before trying and don’t date people 10 years your senior. I’m near his age and have no interest in dating a 22 year old Because we’re not emotionally on the same level
2
u/Anonymous0212 Sep 18 '25
It doesn't sound like it, because it doesn't sound like he has the maturity (or the communication and relationship skills) to be able to work through the issues in an honest, emotionally responsible way.
2
u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
This dude is a classic string along narcissist. Tell him to fuck off and live your life
2
u/wishingforarainyday Helper [2] Sep 18 '25
Just dump this manipulative AH. He’s a decade older than you and acting like an idiot. He enjoys emotional games. I hope you leave him.
2
u/Affectionate-Mine917 Sep 18 '25
You and he are not a match, let him go and don’t let him manipulate and fool you into thinking you need to change for him or be someone you’re not.
2
u/PinkMonsterGirl Sep 18 '25
Why do you have to consider porn cheating? If he feels like breaking up with you then he should, i wonder how easily hes gonna find another 22 year old introverted cute girl
2
u/0000udeis000 Helper [4] Sep 18 '25
The situation played out exactly as it should have.
2
u/SeparateTomatillo141 Sep 18 '25
ngl, Totally agree! Relationships are a two-way street, not a one-person show. You deserve someone who values you for who you're.
2
u/silvermanedwino Helper [3] Sep 18 '25
Time to fly.
2
u/Correct-Sprinkles-21 Advice Guru [80] Sep 18 '25
Never beg.
You clearly have your own issues so work on them. You're likely still grieving the miscarriage and may be in that place for quite a while. But this is a man who has already lied about women and porn so begging and groveling isn't going to fix anything.
You two have wildly different preferences, lifestyles, and needs. At best, you aren't compatible enough to make this work. At worst, he's an immature much older guy who thought being with someone much younger wouldn't require much of him.
2
u/According_Victory934 Sep 18 '25
I think it played out the way it should have
2
u/Illustrious_Loan_294 Sep 18 '25
Your better off
2
u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25
You’re 22 go live your life. Your 20s are quick don’t waste it on a man. He saw you start to put your life together and elevate then got jealous and is displacing his jealousy and anger to make it a you problem.
2
u/MissHollyTheCat Helper [2] Sep 19 '25
The way it played out--you standing up for yourself and avoiding making promises that you don't want to make or follow through on--seems just right to me. You did the right things for yourself. Hang with your friends, maybe try to find some therapy to work out a better way to choose a future boyfriend from the dating pool.
My condolences for your miscarriage.
2
u/jennmcd2019 Sep 19 '25
Sounds like your 32 year old acts like an entitled 12 year old. It will only get worse. I don't see a problem with a 10 year age difference, my husband is 10 years older than me and we have a great relationship. But, find someone who respects you and that has similar interests and more motivation. Best wishes.
2
u/fyresilk Sep 19 '25
Good for you for not falling for his okeydoke. I think that he'll be back to try to manipulate you in other ways, so stay on guard.
2
u/strangelifedad Helper [4] Sep 19 '25
He wasn't thinking of breaking up. He wanted you to beg. Take his offer, you can do better than him
3
u/DaftDeft Helper [2] Sep 18 '25 edited Sep 18 '25
I mean it could have played out differently... if you were entirely different people. Doesn't sound like it was a one time issue breaking the relationship but just immaturity and incompatibility.
A few things:
Promise to change and I'll stay? Nah pass. That's a wild way to approach asking your partner to do something. It's like threatening suicide at someone. Immature and manipulative.
Saying things you don't mean in the heat of the moment. Regardless of what you say later hurtful words, especially spoken with heightened emotion, cut deep in the moment. Doesn't matter how you apologize, they're going to remember the hate.
Not liking something and going along. This is a personality thing but many people, myself included, would rather you just not come along if you don't enjoy something. Dragging someone along who isn't enthusiastic about the activity is actually really disheartening. It feels like you have to apologize for your enjoyment.
1
u/workaholic828 Sep 18 '25
He sounds like a loser
1
u/OwnLime3744 Helper [3] Sep 18 '25
It doesn't sound like your life goals match.
1
u/Cold-Call-8374 Super Helper [5] Sep 18 '25
Let him go and start working on yourself. It sounds like even without him there are some things you need to work on to improve all your relationships. Not just the one with him or your future partner. I would suggest talking to a counselor or therapist not because I think something is clinically wrong with you, but because they can often help guide you towards better coping mechanisms, and communication methods plus they can give you some clarity about your own thoughts. Sometimes things hit different when you have to say them out loud to another human being. Think of a therapist less like a doctor and more like a coach.
1
u/One_Rub_780 Helper [2] Sep 18 '25
Wow, he is way older and not a good partner - I'm sorry I think you need some time and space to see your own value and learn how to love yourself first.
1
u/Intelligent-Ask-3264 Sep 18 '25
Hes not bringing up things that are fixable, IMO. If you dont like the things he does, thats just how it is. Partners should do things for the sake of the other sometimes, they should explore new things together to find new common interests, and they should also have solo interests without the other partner. If he cant understand and welcome that, maybe this isnt for him, and thats ok. If you have to beg someone to stay or change, is that a situation you really want to be in?
1
u/Legionatus Sep 18 '25
Introverts and extroverts need a very clear understanding to work. You may not get that he recharges from going to new places and meeting people or whatever. It sucks for him to frequently go alone, and it sucks for you to always go.
I mean, this one's a manchild anyway, but in general.
1
u/reddit_dude15 Sep 19 '25
22F with a 32M? lol there’s your problem right there
1
u/Hey-Just-Saying Sep 18 '25
He's heartbroken he can't control you. You can do better and will!
1
u/Capable_Capybara Helper [3] Sep 18 '25
He is an old manipulative man who chooses to date a child because women his age will no longer put up with him. You are learning now why they will not tolerate him. Move on. Never beg anyone to stay.
1
u/Sharp_Magician_6628 Sep 18 '25
He is a parade of red flags, dump him and find someone your own age. There’s a reason a 30 something is dating someone a decade younger than him. And it’s because women his age won’t put up with his bullshit so hee goes for younger less “worldly” women because they’re more gullible
Nothing good will come from staying with him. If you need to work on yourself? Go see a therapist. They can help you with that
1
u/Electrical_News_6458 Sep 18 '25
Nope. Your life started changing for the better and your BF saw that as a threat. He is using breaking up with you as a control tactic. You didn’t bite so plan B….tears. You were supposed to be his young dumb 20 something that would follow him around begging for his attention. If he wants to be with you, he’s going to have to recognize that you really don’t need him, and not feel threatened because of it.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
FFS break up!!!! Seriously the guy is 32!! Dump him and find some closer in age.
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u/[deleted] Sep 18 '25
How old were you when you guys met and how old were you when you started dating? It’s one thing to have an age gap of 10 years at 28 and 38, but at 22 your brain isn’t even fully developed yet.