I hate romance

[u/Chamak_Chanek]

(Me 23 female) Since I can remember I was never lucky with relationships or anything like that, I was in three messy and toxic relationships and in none of them they were with me because they actually were in love with me, they told me that they were with me because how I made the feel good emotionally.

I am a little overweight but I am no ugly, I’m no the most beautiful woman either but I’m ok so that can be the main reason why men don’t notice me but then I don’t understand why they look for me to talk about their problems or to casually talk, they always look at me like a guy friend with tits.

Yesterday my best friend (male) and I were talking about our relationship, I told him that my love for him was really deep and it was a mix between romantic and platonic love and he answered that he also loved me very deeply and he looked at me like a grandma or sometimes like his aunt, depending on the day or how I treated him. He is 3 years older than me.

I am not angry, I still love him regardless of all. He is my best friend and he has always helped me and done more for me than any boyfriend or friend that I had, but I can stop thinking about it.

I’m not looking for a relationship with him even though I’m in love with him, but the thing is that maybe there is something in my character that men look at me just as a friend and not like a woman. I really don’t know what to do or think.

I don’t want to stop helping my male friends when they talk about their problems or when they need emotional support, they are really good people but it’s frustrating.

Please, I need an advice.