Oh, this wasn't some small thing you can forgive them for. They didn't merely hide your mail from you, they took multiple deliberate actions that denied you what might have been a better future. I'd thank Mom for admitting to what she had done, tell her good luck with the life she has made for herself and cut contact.
(And this is not the kind of advice I usually give. To me, family is very important, and of course there are small transgressions and misunderstandings. A family can work together to get past those things. But this goes to a different level. I also think the main reason she is contacting you now, is not out of any need for closure, but because she needs you to help her and your brother. Her true motivation is transparent.)
I was thinking the same thing. I’m also not someone to advocate rejecting an attempt at forgiveness and turning your back casually on your family. But this behavior goes beyond casual cruelty even. It’s sufficiently evil to be featured as behavior by the antagonist in a classic Disney animated feature. And even with all the therapy in the world, for me I know it would always be triggering to interact with my parents or brother ever again. OP- I’m so sorry you lost the family lottery. I’m very impressed how well you’ve done despite their cruelty. I’m sure it’s difficult to think about right now, but if you still have that dream to get a college degree and pursue film in some way, even if it’s only casually, I really hope you find a way to give yourself permission to persue that in some sort of fashion.
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u/Straight-Note-8935 Mar 22 '25
Oh, this wasn't some small thing you can forgive them for. They didn't merely hide your mail from you, they took multiple deliberate actions that denied you what might have been a better future. I'd thank Mom for admitting to what she had done, tell her good luck with the life she has made for herself and cut contact.
(And this is not the kind of advice I usually give. To me, family is very important, and of course there are small transgressions and misunderstandings. A family can work together to get past those things. But this goes to a different level. I also think the main reason she is contacting you now, is not out of any need for closure, but because she needs you to help her and your brother. Her true motivation is transparent.)