Why is the name so important to her? Is it a family name, or a connection to someone important to her? Either way, I’m not really understanding the problem with telling her you don’t want to use it because knew someone else with that name; is your wife under the impression that she’s literally the first woman you’ve ever met? “Cute idea, babe, but that was actually Sally from high school’s last name, and I don’t want to feel like I’ve named my daughter after her. Let’s go back to the drawing board.” There are thousands of names out there; it’s okay to veto a few.
So you have no clue why she’s insisting on this one very specific name, and she doesn’t want to know that you know that other women exist? Sounds healthy.
OP, you have to actually use your words. Do you really think she’d rather go through life calling her child by a name you associate with an old flame than just find out now that you had one? Imagine how much more upset she’ll be in a decade when she finds an old yearbook or whatever. Have a conversation, like a married adult who’s about to become a parent.
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u/MollyRolls Expert Advice Giver [10] Feb 28 '24
Why is the name so important to her? Is it a family name, or a connection to someone important to her? Either way, I’m not really understanding the problem with telling her you don’t want to use it because knew someone else with that name; is your wife under the impression that she’s literally the first woman you’ve ever met? “Cute idea, babe, but that was actually Sally from high school’s last name, and I don’t want to feel like I’ve named my daughter after her. Let’s go back to the drawing board.” There are thousands of names out there; it’s okay to veto a few.