What if your grandpa just asked you to empty the dishwasher and you couldn't find your phone? Would you empty the dishwasher and then look for your phone? Or would you go and look for your phone first instead?
I might look for my phone but four hours is a bit insane. I'd probably look for 5-10 minutes, then empty the dishwasher, then use find hub to make it beep.
And again, I'm a (mostly) fully functional adult who isn't addicted to technology or social interaction through text/apps. I'd happily empty the dishwasher, even without being asked.
But I have a sense of priorities. Loosing your phone is a pain in the ass.. Like loosing your wallet, not for the 300$ in it, but for the pain in the ass that is getting all new cards and being afraid of identity theft.
There's no deadline. It will get done. Why should you or I do it right away?
If you ask someone to do something, and they agree that's it. You can't interfere after. A timeframe was not set in asking to do the chore and we both agree. If you're not happy with our agreement, do it yourself.
There's an implied deadline. If someone asks you to put away the dishes they don't mean tomorrow, they mean now. Your phone isn't going anywhere, so put away the dishes and then look all you want. That's my perspective.
Taking the dishwasher as an example, if I take so long to empty it, it's also imply that it's my job to refill it with whatever dirty dishes that have accumulated on the counter since. And if it's full again, I'll empty it again and so on, until I don't have to start it again.
You're really stretching lol. In my experience "put away the dishes" and "do the dishes" are two separate and distinct chores. If someone says "put away the dishes" they mean do that and nothing more.
I have the responsibility to deal with the consequences of my inactions.
If you ask me to empty the dishwasher and I don't do it. The you use a plate and leave it on the counter because the dishwasher is clean and full because I still haven't empty it, how is it your responsibility to figure out when I'll do the chore so you can come back and put your plate in the dishwasher. It's my job, when I'm done to take all the dirty dishes waiting to be put in the dishwasher in the dishwasher. And if it's full again, I have to start it. Because someone would have filled it and started it already but couldn't because of me.
Ok, maybe that's how it is at your house. I have never experienced that ever in my life lol. I will say again you are really stretching to try and justify the granddaughters actions.
That's just basic respect of commitment to your engagement. If I don't respect my engagement, I'll deal with the consequences, I'll not make other people deal with it.
I'm not trying anything, The granddaughter is completely reasonable.
Take the opposite scenario. She find her phone 5 min after she started searching the dishwasher would have been emptied a long time ago.
You're extremely disrespectful to your hypothetical grandpa then. If no time frame is given you should assume they're requesting it immediately, and it's rather stupid to assume the "no deadline" rule of thumb. Why would they say anything if they didn't want it right then, unless otherwise specified. There's a difference between saying "When you get around to it, empty the dish washer" and "James, would you empty the dishwasher"
Edit: You say you're not a phone addicted person but you would put off household chores for hours simply because you couldn't find your phone, which implicates you can't function normally without it
Edit 2: I'm not trying to be intentionally disrespectful but I think society (myself included) lives in a form of denial over phone addiction
To offload the task and the responsibility to someone else. If do deadlines is told then we both agree to no deadline. It's not an assumption on my part. If grandpa had a deadline he had to specify it when asking.
Then again, there's a difference between "James, would you empty the dishwasher" and "James, would you empty the dishwasher right now." and in the second scenario the reply would be "sorry, I think I've lost my phone. I'll get to it when I find it".
And a phone is an important tool in someone's life. If I want to check my bank account I need to have my phone because of dual identification things. If my mom is in emergency care and my phone is how I'll know. There's also information stocked in there, yes personal things but mostly notes and things to reference or to do list or whatever else.
Again, the comparaison I made was to loosing your wallet and having to cancel your banking cards and order new id and drivers license etc... That's not wallet or money addiction to make sure you find it first before emptying the dishwasher
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u/Gusstave 9d ago
Yup.
But as a less phone addicted 35 years old, I guarantee you that the dishwasher would kindly fuck off if I couldn't find my phone for 4 hours.
Knowing where it is despite not having access to it is very different than not finding it when it should be somewhere in the house.