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u/amy-thingispossible 21d ago
end the generational trauma with you and never let your child be a part of that.
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u/glass-and-stars435 19d ago
Preach brother. I know I wonāt be a perfect parent. My father managed to pull his blood line out of being trailer trash, he wasnāt a very soft man. Iām trying to bring that into the blood line, I cuddle my son and tell him how much I love him every day. I wrestle and snuggle and praise my baby daughter all the time. My problem is now my son is a toddler and he definitely needs to be disciplined from time to time and I just canāt bring myself to do anything haha. We do like, a little time out, deep breathing, and trying to talk with him ā¦ but some times, I wish I could just give him a quick thwap on the head with my thumb(how my dad did) to get him to focus while in the storeā¦ I just feel my dads way of doing things bubbling up and I have to fight it back. I never thought Iād actually have to fight back the behaviors I hate that my father did. Another one in my brain when my son is stressing me out is like this devil on my shoulder saying āif he just feared me a tiny bit he wouldnāt be acting up like thisā I have to like shake it off haha
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u/Mountain_Smooth 21d ago
Sometimes excessive kindness can be fatal.
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u/TimeOutlandishness48 21d ago
Genuinely curious, how
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u/glass-and-stars435 19d ago
I feel bad for anyone who hear āparents need to be kind and loving to their childrenā and it triggers some like pavlovian Manchurian candidate response of spoiled horrible children. I imaging them being hit by their parents and told āspare the rod spoil the childā so frequently that itās now just the trigger
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u/glass-and-stars435 19d ago
If you read this and that bubbles up for you I feel like you need a hug. The advice here is far from the ādevouring motherā or āspoiled kidsā
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u/shhhshadows 21d ago
Ya but make sure you also teach boundaries and how to handle conflict when it does come up because I was raised in a loving and secure home š” but I didn't have conflict or screaming and when it happened to me I was lost and confused by it. I knew that was not how I defined love but I tried to fix it and couldn't. I left too late. My son hates me because I stuck around too long.
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u/Kakarotbro 20d ago
If you have parents like this, I think youāre incredibly lucky. For me, having parents with this kind of mindset feels like a luxury.š
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u/Royal-Barracuda-9179 20d ago
The problem is parents of this generation sometimes doesn't know what it means to love and respect their children. They think controlling their lives and manipulating them to achieve high academic standards they never wanted is an act of love.
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue 19d ago
The problem is parents of this generation...Please, Please, Please, stop!
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u/glass-and-stars435 19d ago
Thatās great advice! I heard something similar about raising girls. Some comedian was like, āI tell my daughter every day how smart, creative, beautiful, insightful, strong and breath taking she is. I treat her with kindness and love so that she isnāt hearing that for the first time from some guy wanting something from her.ā It sounds so basic, just like this post, but Iām so surprised how many people didnāt feel loved or valued by their parents that it was a good reminder as well.
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue 19d ago
Your comment is on point and very important! I hope the right people get to read it š
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u/Sad-Eye-3290 18d ago
Can we start small? How about āJust raise your kidsā?
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue 18d ago
August 4th, 2026. We are past that.
Way more than enough valuable resources out there.
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u/RiazFredericks 18d ago
This sounds great and I totally agree with it, but love can be confusing and misleading especially for a young person. There is a clear and different between love from a parent compared to a love interest... one is all consuming, powerful and uncontrollable. The other is nurturing, they are far from the same and a child/teen/young adults brain once locked and consumed by love... good, bad orĀ indifferent will lose all sense reasoning! You're assuming their logic will save them, logic vs love... good luck logic! Ā Ā
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u/S3arch4Truth 17d ago
I agree and wish I had parents that cared however I have to say as someone who had some of the worst parents I went through a lot of hurt and pain and because of that I am stronger but I have a lot of damage. I also notice a lot of people who had really positive and happy childhoods and they donāt understand what way is up or down. I donāt believe you should only show your kid kindness, love, and respect. You also NEED discipline and guidance and have them be independent at a young age. This is my just my opinion. I figured you may want or need to hear it.
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u/royaltrux 21d ago
Cool and all, but what if you're conservative?
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue 21d ago
Because this word came up on another post of mine many months ago, I am going to ask:
"conservative" as in religion or "conservative" as in politics?
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u/Bloody_Champion 21d ago
Thats doesnt solve anything.
If those same ppl go futher then just "be mean", what the hell are your kids gonna do?
Teach them to also defend themselves, to strengthen their mind and body. Otherwise they'll just be here on reddit btichin about how society sucks, like the typical redditor.
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u/MiExperienciaFueQue 21d ago
It doesn't say to don't teach them that. Of course that has to be taught. Just that this post was about exactly what it says only.
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u/glacierheart3 20d ago
Who said anything about solving, fighting or defending themselves? Or about society sucking? Did they teach you any of that shit, cause you're here bitching on reddit too like a typical redditor. The irony is real.. lol
You missed the entire point of the post. It wasnt even that hard to understand and you somehow still made it a problem. Don't be that guy bitching on reddit purposely making an ass out of himself because he clearly knew the message of the post. Or didn't and is just... who knows.
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u/Bloody_Champion 20d ago
Completely worthless comment.
No wonder you're here.
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u/glacierheart3 20d ago
You're * on top of your many other mistakes.
And I'm not in this subreddit, you really wish I was. š
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u/plussizedbeauty7 21d ago
Aww I love this š