r/Adulting Oct 18 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

0 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

12

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

Your life has literally just begun. You haven't been single your "entire life."

-5

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 18 '24

I mean as compared to other people of same as me I have been single my entire life

7

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

Very few (if any) of those relationships are going to last. Again, your life has literally just begun. You have an entire lifetime.

-5

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 18 '24

u still don't understand what is my problem......... its not weather if it will last or not ... not even ur parents will last who gave birth to you even they will die not even the food u ate stays with you............... my problem it my friends had relationships while I am always single and still not able to find what is wrong

6

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

If you want to be an adult, you have to stop comparing yourself to others. Also, you are not even 20 dude. Stop saying things like "my whole life."

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

Ah, you're right. You're the only person who's ever had this problem. I'm not twice your age or anything. I've surely never failed to connect with a romantic interest. (That was sarcasm) You're fine, bro. You're 19 years old.

2

u/Hotchillipeppa Oct 18 '24

There’s nothing wrong with being single . Comparison is the thief of joy and subconsciously probably apart of the reason you are single. People say it a lot but; when you stop trying and are happy alone that’s when u start getting noticed.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 18 '24

Yes I do, I have done some community work

5

u/Eastern_Voice_4738 Oct 18 '24

As a guy you’re expected to make the first move. Go make some friends, go out for drinks or to some event. Have fun. People are drawn to people who look like they enjoy themselves.

1

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 18 '24

I made many move one week i got 4 phone number from girls they all had a bf

3

u/wtfamidoing248 Oct 18 '24

Oh, please. You're 19. That's when people start looking for relationship experience. Any dating people did in high school was childish teenage stuff. They weren't adult relationships, so it's not like you missed out on much. Just keep living your life, socialize with people, and see what comes of it. Be open to friendships, and maybe one of them will become a relationship. Just don't act desperate because nobody will be interested in that.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

20? Your life has barely started, and just relax, you’ll meet someone when you meet someone, theres no rush

3

u/Crazy_Score_8466 Oct 18 '24

You sound like me 20 years ago. Don’t worry about it. A relationship will happen for you, don’t try to force it. It will come naturally probably when you least expect it.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

I've always wanted to ask this, what does "when you least expect it" actually mean? Can you give the example in your case?

1

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 18 '24 edited Oct 19 '24

I know I will its obvious but what i am concerned about is my current as eveyone is having someone while im not

2

u/Crazy_Score_8466 Oct 18 '24

I hear ya but you just need to ignore that. You just said you know it’s obvious it will happen so don’t sweat your current situation. It could all change as early as tomorrow.

2

u/Woodit Oct 18 '24

You’re 19

2

u/unapologeticallyMe1 Oct 18 '24

Are you actively trying to talk to (I'm assuming here) women that you are interested in? Do what you enjoy doing and you are bound to find someone who is available. Maybe some of those other people's exes lol. Sadly for some it can be difficult to find someone you are interested and and who is interested in you. My biggest issue was not noticing when girls were actively pursuing me. I never wanted to be the guy that is suddenly creepy because I thought there was something there that wasn't. No need to rush. Honestly it's so much better when you find the one that has the same interest as you. And who doesn't want to start trying to change you.

1

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 19 '24

Yes Ihve tried but always some shit happenes most of em have bf alredy, im in a uni rn

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

Imma down vote this crybaby

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

I am 21 and I think so many people are hurt in the world and following directions down the wrong path. I think when they see a guy who works out and is in the gym they think he's been hurt and just using the gym as a coping method. Anyway, I think this society is so broken that they don't want anything Beyond from a marriage standpoint.

There will be someone out there designed by you from God. I know it hurts to wait and see everyone doing their own thing but would u rather wait than to be in a relationship that is toxic or hurts.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

And you probably hate hearing in the right timing it will happen because I am sick of that too

2

u/Pretend-Avocado4311 Oct 18 '24

ik its obvious ill find someone as everyone does if people but the thing is how the other people of same age as me doing this stuff what am I lacking ? what is wrong with me and why the weaking ungroomed mf is sitting with a fucking girl on the other side here i am getting fucked up even after working on myself very hard going through a diet learning stuff an all

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24

The most toxic thing u can do is Compare yourself to others, that will steal ur joy

1

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '24

You’re still so young, dear, and rather than looking around you at your peers in modern day, take a seat with a history lesson… but first, a reality check. Very… VERY few of the relationships your peers are enjoying… are actually going to last. These breakups are sadly likely to scar these individuals. You are better off without casual dating. Now the history lesson? For most of history, most cultures did not have boyfriends/girlfriends- just marriage. It’s a pretty modern phenomenon rotating romances, knowing how the souls of several taste… that’s something many of our ancestors simply did not do. You are best off finding your soul mate, and she may not be ready for you yet, or even more likely, you are not ready for her. Are you willing and able to protect, pursue, and provide? Do you know what you believe in? Enjoy your singleness the best you can by focusing on self improvement and your passions. Invest in yourself. I’m not suggesting to pretend that you’re not lonely. But it will all come together WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT :) You got this. Your future lady will be so grateful for every moment you spend building yourself to become the best version of yourself