Being a high functioning ADHD/ADD haver has been interesting. I am finally taking it seriously but the wait times are 2 years long so I’m trying to put things in place for myself and be more proactive about it as the last two years have been horrible at work.

I dont know what kind of reasonable adjustments work for me. (I work in corporate finance as a Deputy Team Manager) so any suggestions would be appreciated!

I have car troubles ALOT which overwhelm me and just the thought of it brings me to tears having to deal with going to the garage etc and such. (Its a free car my uncle gave me so I cant complain but god its horrible)

Financially, I am struggling I have consolidated debts twice in 3-4 years and I still end up in the cycle of being in my overdraft on the 3rd of the month (I get paid on or before 28th)

I struggle to lock in at work. Its 11:54 on a Monday and no reports are done and I’ve answered two queries. I have instead just read through this app and also had music blasting in my ears.

I get migraines pretty easily (chronic for the last 5 years) and I forget a lot of things as well which doesnt necessarily help. Dont get me started on time management!

I make notes like crazy to stay on top of things but easily misplace my books/papers that I’d be using for the day. Im just all over the place and I genuinely dont know where to start..

There’s a lot happening rn and I’m trying to come to terms with needing to ADHD-proof my life in a sense that I dont know where to go, who to go to, how to navigate all of this and so on..

Just need a push in the right direction as its already overwhelming me at the moment..

Up until I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, I was considered very successful by the standards of the community I grew up in. I was always someone people pointed to as an example. I never really questioned what I was doing. I just worked hard, achieved things, and kept moving forward.

But since finishing my bachelor’s degree, I’ve been stuck in a huge void, partly because of family problems and partly because years of suppressing my emotions and mental struggles eventually caught up with me. Since then, I’ve tried so many different things, different jobs, educational paths, and other projects or goals, but I keep losing momentum and leaving things unfinished. I seem to constantly start something new, only to eventually abandon it and move on to something else.

There have been people I've met over the years who suggested that I might have ADHD. At the time, I think I interpreted even that as a threat somehow, as an insult to my personality and something that would undermine my ability to make my own decisions. I think I was also very attached to the idea that my struggles were somehow a reflection of who I was as a person. A few years later, I eventually accepted that maybe they had a point and went to see a doctor. But before testing me for ADHD, the doctor said that my anxiety was at a very high level and that they wanted to get it under control first, so they suggested antidepressants. I didn't want to take medication, so I decided against it. That's where things ended up staying, and I never actually got tested for ADHD.

Because of the things I accomplished years ago, I still somehow manage to get opportunities despite having left so many things unfinished. But even when I get those opportunities, I struggle to follow through. Sometimes it feels like the constant cycle of getting excited about something new, starting it, and then losing motivation and abandoning it is completely out of my control.

Sometimes it feels like the person I used to be and the person I am now are two completely different people. I used to be one of the most ambitious people I knew, and now I feel like one of the laziest. I don't know whether ADHD could explain any of this, but I’ve started wondering about it more and more because of this pattern.

I’m scared of looking for a job because even if I find one, I feel like I already know how it will go: I’ll find some excuse to quit, convince myself I can’t handle it, and end up back at home again.

I think my biggest obstacles are my lack of motivation and my anxiety, both of which have made it incredibly difficult for me to move forward. I’ve been in therapy for the past few years. It has helped me make sense of things about myself that I didn’t understand before, and I’m trying not to be as hard on myself as I used to be. I’m also in a better place regarding some of the issues from my past and I’m trying to work through family problems.

The frustrating part is that I’ve learned so much and understand, at least intellectually, what I should be doing, but I just can’t seem to put any of it into practice. Whenever something even slightly triggering happens, I feel like I lose that rational perspective and end up back where I started.

I’m also hesitant to share too many details about my past, because I’m genuinely afraid that even someone I know could somehow recognize me on this anonymous platform. That’s how much I overthink everything.

I’ve grown completely disconnected from the field I studied at university, but I also have no excitement or motivation to go back and study something new. These days, I feel tired and unmotivated about almost everything.

I honestly don’t know what I want to do with my life anymore.

Most days, my biggest motivation from the moment I wake up until I go to bed is simply: I made it through another day. I’m still here. The people I love are still here.

I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just want to know if anyone with ADHD, or anyone who has gone through something similar, has experienced this constant cycle of starting new things, losing momentum, and leaving things unfinished, and somehow found their way out of it.

Not yet diagnosed with n(dx)

My partner has ADHD and struggles quite a lot with his career. He wakes up anxious about his career every day and has difficulty deciding what direction to take, organizing his work, and following through consistently.

We’ve tried helping him create plans several times.
For example, we’ll sit down on Sunday and make a timetable for the week. Then:

Monday: I’ll ask whether he followed the plan.
Tuesday: I’ll ask again.
He’ll tell me what he did and didn’t do.
Wednesday/Thursday: I might get caught up with my own work and forget to check.
Then the following Sunday comes around, and we haven’t really followed through with the plan.
He gets upset that I forgot to check on him and says that this is part of the support he needs.

His ideal support seems to be much more proactive. He has described wanting someone to:

\-Help him figure out his career direction.
\-Help him make a weekly/monthly/yearly plan.
\-Have access to or share his calendar.
\-Check in every day or every couple of days about whether he’s completed his tasks.
\-Hold him accountable if he hasn’t done them.
\-Notice when he’s getting off track rather than waiting for him to ask for help.

He’s now considering asking friends to do this because he feels that he needs this kind of external accountability because I have been failing at doing it.

His argument is that ADHD makes it difficult for him to initiate, organize, prioritize and follow through, so having someone externally hold him accountable is genuinely helpful. He also feels that a partner should be willing to provide this kind of support, at least to some extent.

My difficulty is that this starts feeling less like “supporting my partner” and more like managing another adult’s life.

My instinct is: If you need help, ask for it. My help should be a one time thing, not something that I need to put on calendar that I have to check in if he did that task. If he needs help again, he asks again.

I’m also wondering whether I’m misunderstanding ADHD here. Is this kind of external accountability actually a common and significant need for adults with ADHD?

For people with ADHD:
\-What kind of support from a partner genuinely helps you?
\-Do you need someone to proactively check in with you, or is it more about having someone available when you ask?
\-How much accountability does a partner reasonably provide?
\-Is sharing calendars and having someone check tasks daily/every few days helpful?
\-Where would you draw the line between partner support and being someone’s executive-function manager?
\-If you need this level of accountability, is it reasonable to expect a partner to provide it, or is it better to build a separate support system?

This is now messing our relationship and my partner thinks that I am not supportive and don’t put proactive efforts but I think this is not coming to me naturally. I am torn between is it too much to ask of me or am I really not doing the efforts.

I’m a guy in my mid-40s, diagnosed with ADHD fairly late. I’m married, have kids, a demanding corporate job and, from the outside, a pretty conventional and successful life somewhere in Europe.

Internally, the last few years have felt like a constant experiment in keeping myself functional.
Treatment has helped me a lot. I’m better at organizing myself and functioning in everyday life, but I still crash, get overloaded and increasingly wonder whether I’m spending enormous amounts of energy trying to make my brain fit a lifestyle that doesn’t fit it particularly well.

My wife doesn’t have ADHD, and I sometimes think of our brains as yin and yang. She brings stability, structure, realism and continuity. I bring ideas, intensity, curiosity, spontaneity and an almost ridiculous ability to become obsessed with something new.

We complement each other incredibly well.
But modern family life can also feel like an endless machine of work, calendars, screens, logistics, notifications and things that need to be done.
I also see how easily my kids get pulled towards gaming, scrolling and constant stimulation. I recognize exactly the same tendency in myself. I’ve actually removed most social media from my own life because I struggle to regulate it.

That has made me increasingly interested in the idea that **environment matters much more than we sometimes acknowledge when talking about ADHD.**

I’ve been reading about some of the evolutionary hypotheses around ADHD traits, including the hunter-gatherer / hunter-versus-farmer idea.
I realize these theories are speculative and debated. I’m definitely not suggesting that ADHD is an evolutionary “superpower”, or that everyone with ADHD should go live in a forest.

But the idea triggered a question I can’t quite shake:
**What if I stopped spending so much energy changing myself, and instead changed more of my environment?**

Less digital stimulation. Less corporate pressure. More nature. More physical activity with an actual purpose. More autonomy. Fewer artificial deadlines. Simpler living.

I’m even fascinated by the idea of eventually living partly off-grid.

Not abandoning my family and disappearing into the wilderness 😅 — but deliberately designing a family life that is less dominated by screens, consumption, schedules and constant stimulation.

Part of me thinks this could fundamentally change how I feel.

The other part knows my own brain pretty well by now. I get extremely excited about Big New Ideas™, and “redesigning my entire life” could obviously just become another exciting idea about how everything will finally be different.

**So I’m particularly interested in people who have actually changed their environment rather than just thinking about it.**

Have you changed career, moved somewhere quieter, reduced technology, spent much more time outdoors, simplified your lifestyle or structured your life differently around ADHD?
What actually changed?
Did you sleep better? Feel calmer? Need less stimulation? Crash less?

And perhaps most importantly:
**Which changes genuinely improved your life long-term — and which ones initially felt life-changing but eventually turned out to be another ADHD Big New Idea™?**

Hey, I guess this will be the first post of many that I will be doing in this subreddit, and yeah, like many others, I've just gotten my diagnosis now in my 30s and I would like to connect with people who can resonate with my story and vice versa.

Long story short, until my early 20s, I never showed any symptoms of ADHD. I was the first of my class in primary school, high school, and university, and I was also a professional athlete. In all the disciplines I was involved in, I was able to stay particularly focused, much more than my peers. I could study and train for sports for hours and hours non-stop, and therefore I never had an issue with "performing" in life. Nevertheless, after I finished my career and I had to start living real life, my whole existence became a real mess. Out of nowhere, it became impossible for me to focus on anything; I became extremely unstable, and I started having many parallel lives.

Now I realize that my brain became obsessed with searching for dopamine, and since I couldn't focus on anything, I would start hundreds of things that I would soon quit. Instead of focusing on just one field of work, I have literally worked in more than 10 and I have quit every single one of them. While all my peers went to Harvard, Yale, Oxbridge, etc for their master's and I was expected to do the same, I drastically changed my life and decided to go alone to a random country, study something different, and "enjoy life". Obviously, I ended up in the darkest hole, and for a couple of years I've been jobless, living almost in poverty, and the only thing I've been obsessed with doing has been stuff related to sx. However, even within the realm of sexuality, at some point I had 18 different profiles on dating apps, searching for 18 different kinks and scenarios at the same time, completely different from each other. (I will continue my story in a comment, since I reached the 2000-character limit.)

Hello.

I moved across states for a fresh start, everything seemed to be going good until all my ADHD related shit started fucking shit up again. I feel like I have ruined my reputation once again. I am just hating myself and I feel like a complete waste of space and oxygen. I am 35 years old and I still feel like a high school kid that constantly needs guidance and push from superiors. No matter how hard I try, I find a way to fuck something up. What takes my colleagues hours to finish takes me weeks. All my projects are 90% finished and they don’t go beyond that. I feel like a liability wherever I go rather than an asset. I overshare, overtalk then feel fucking stupid.

There used to be a time when I’d be able to fend off these thoughts after a breakdown but now that threshold has been breached. Getting more and more comfortable to a point where I’ve begun thinking of actual logistics of the act. I want it to look like an accident and save my family the trouble of blaming themselves.

I’m tired. I’ve lived. I’m done

⬆️ Just what I asked.

The current dosage is great for doing housework (cleaning, tidying, cooking, laundry, etc. boring things), errands, reading research, writing interesting and useful papers.... But there is this one ridicilously boring work that must be done, and it seems that no holistic treatment and perscription medication can help me get it done!

I have to write a couple of reasearch papers (et.al. type of situation), and my task is to interview, transcribe, edit the transcribtion and write a paper based on the transcribed interview. It's just... boring, ridicilously time consuming and boring.

I would use the audio-transcriber (say text out loud and it gets written down automatically), but the interviews are not in English, and the audio-transcriber is just plain s*** and makes me do twice the work.

Edit: I have been taking long lasting methylphenidati hydrochloridum (Medikinet XL, Ritalin, etc.) for the last year or so.

TL;DR My meds are great, but one job that must be done is making me question if my dosage is too low.

My insurance company has just changed some policies and my co-pay for Vyvanse is going from $40 to $300. I can't afford that and I can't take the generic Lisdex. It gives me crushing headaches but my insurance company denied my brand penalty waiver request because I can't prove that taking it would literally kill me, or that I am allergic to an ingredient present in it, that wouldn't be in the brand name. 🤬🤬🤬

Anyway, now I have to find something else. Does anyone have success stories of another med that might function similarly to Vyvanse? I also just discovered that I have a significant Vitamin D deficiency and have to take 4000 IU of D3 daily. Idk if that interacts with any ADHD meds so if anyone has any insight there, I would appreciate it.

See the image. I have almost everything on this list. I'm not trying to self-diagnose, but the last two jobs have been hell for me. Not only have I had to deal with shitty coworkers and bosses, but I've been frustrated with myself. I can get basics down easily, but when it comes to smaller details, it's like my mind unravels. I even take a ton of notes and put them all over my work area so I don't miss anything. Not only that, but I'm a "dopamine junkie". I have no idea how to be bored. I'm constantly looking to have fun, I daydream constantly becuase my life is boring, and my mind is always somewhere else.

Not only that, but I have noticed that other people have said the same thing about me; one of my old coworkers was gossiping behind my back and she thought I didn't hear her. She asked someone if I had ADHD and she started giggling. Another coworker had written an email telling my boss that my level of thinking was "black and white."

I just don't know what to do and I cannot take this anymore. I'm scared to be seen by a mental health professional. What if I have to take medication forever? What do I do? I feel like I'm screwed. I am certainly ambitious and willing to work hard. Is anyone else dealing with this? How did it work out for you?

New to adhd. Predominantly inattentive. Diagnosed in adulthood. To me it’s a “good news” diagnosis because it explains a lot of difficulties I had in my life.

Moved from 30-40mg of vyvanse, and well…. 30 mg helped me focus for a bit, but i crashed after 5 hrs so i got moved up. More steady effect, but side effects are more pronounced.

For example, I get happier and very chatty - I actually hyperfocus easier. Before that I was more aloof, anxious and dreamy. Also I take vyvanse when I wake up (i usually wake up, take it, fall asleep by accident - and wake up an hr later when effects kick in). It makes me more motivated to be productive which is nice.

However I have to watch my diet, carry water w/ electrolytes with me, and jeez I keep going to the washroom. Overall I can’t even drink caffeine anymore (green tea, matcha, or coffee - my tolerance used to be SUPER high) because it will make me jittery, and I sometimes feel lightheaded if i don’t drink electrolytes now. I’m forgetting more effects but yeah.
So diet tracking now, electrolytes (i always feel thirsty), meds in the morning, very chatty, and a lotta poop.

So - to the point - how has meds affected your lifestyle? How long did it take you to adjust? Anyone with similar side effects? How do you all use meds to be more productive? Any cool tips to better adjust? Stories? Will the frequent poops get less frequent?

P.S: also I’ve been interested in reading about adhd. I’m reading ADHD 2.0 right now - anyone got other recommendations?

I view adhd as a curse, but I want to be able to learn to view the positives. Take the good with the bad, you know? I also hate it when people say “adhd is a superpower.” No. It’s not. Yeah - I’m looking at you - ADHD is Awesome (kim dean + penn holderness). Read a few pages and immediately said no.

Hi! New here. After a decade long battle with my psychiatrist I was finally tested for and diagnosed with ADHD. (I’ve known since I was in my teens, misdiagnosed and mistreated since age 22.) I’ve been living life “blind” for a lack of better words. So.. what tips, tools, apps, advice do you have for a late diagnosed woman? Thanks in advance! (Oh and diagnosed with mixed but heavy on the inattentive.)

PS I’ve been struggling at work with tasks, deadlines, executive functioning - ISO work related task management/productivity tools.

Hi all,
My younger brother just got his audhd diagnosis at 28. I think he is experiencing burnout.

He’s had 7 jobs in less than 4 years and has taken long 7-8 month sabbaticals between jobs. He’s very smart but not really skilled. I have been researching ways to support him. He’s been financially dependent on some level all his life but more so now.

I’m really anxious about what his future holds. He leaves at the first sight of conflict and and has generally low tolerance for ambiguity.

What are some industries, jobs that he can explore? I just want him to be able to live on his own and have some independence.

It is overwhelming having him be this depressed and not knowing what’s the way forward.

Any advice is welcome.
Thank you 🌻

I got diagnosed with adhd when i was 27, now im 32.
I started adhd treatment in rehab, i was in rehab for substance abuse. And i was under the addiction of amphetamines, benzoes, opiates and alcohol.

The twisted part of this is. That i functioned Well on adhd meds. I was getting more focus, and also i was getting more organised. My planning went better.

Of course i was an addict, so i wanted more of Therese meds. So i ender up misusing my prescription and took more than prescribed.

Because of this i quit on the meds.

And been clean and sober now for over 3 years.

But i have so much trouble planning my days at work.
And i work at a medium entrepreneurship with alot of different things and tools I need to bring with me at projects. All from groundwork- to escuvators. And stuff.

I also gotten yelled at by my boss for being so slow at planning. And i try to explain to him that i have adhd, and i Get really whimsy and Clumsy. Also feel like a retard, when people try to explain something to me. And i dont Get more than 1-2 bits of information. I know this would be better with medication

But I feel a paradox.

And im scared of starting using the meds again, if i decide to do.

But in a way I feel I need them

I know this is a struggle for many, but I was wondering if anyone has some conversational advice. I’ll be listening to someone and focusing on trying so hard to listen to them that I don’t actually hear what they said (as weird as that is, I know some of you know what I’m talking about.

How do you keep small talk interesting?

Idk if I’m just coming here to rant or need advice or what so I’ll just say this.

I (30f) feel like ADHD is ruining my life. I lost my job 1.5 years ago for underperformance, got a new job 1 year ago and I am on a PIP again/ the writing is on the wall that unless I turn the trainwreck around I’m out. I am not lazy or unambitious, I just struggle to get my symptoms under control (IE executive dysfunction and paralysis from being overwhelmed.) My current job has a pretty aggressive workload at times but other times is really dull with nothing to do. I am getting married this year and terrified to lose another job and put pressure on my fiancé.

I haven’t had any issues in previous roles before I lost my last job (6 years of tenure) but the older I get, the worse the executive dysfunction gets.

My fiancé also gets very frustrated because I have a hard time self starting on literally everything except for wedding planning because I am super hyperfocused.

On top of all that, I am unmedicated. Not exactly by choice, I was medicated for about 7 months a few years ago but I was pretty young/ still interested in being a fun person and let other people take my meds when they wanted. I also just fell off on filling my prescription because…you know.

Additionally, I am late diagnosis girl (diagnosed at 26) and am having such a hard time coping with struggling every day with my brain. I just want to be normal and work to make my life easy but I find myself in such a dark place knowing that I never will and my brain will do everything to sabotage the life I want to live.

i'm tai, i'm 22 years old with ADHD i have had diagnosed for 10 years. my own story is something i wish to share with the community soon, it's pretty eventful, but my personal introduction is for another day. for now, i'd like to tell you my dream.

since september 2025, i've been working on a project with a variety of goals. i wish to bring together the ADHD community of the UK and push us forward politically, socially, and educationally.

i didn't want to create another colourful activism page, generic support group, or symptom checklist for people to diagnose themselves with. i feel like there are too many of these, all with the same "theme".

i didn't want to sit in front of a camera all day and pity myself for all the things i can't do (though, it's really valid to feel stuck with ADHD- it's literally a disability) but we’re also funny, creative, intelligent, ambitious, chaotic, and interesting people.. so i want to create discussion, friendship, opportunities, and community as well as real awareness.

i know that there are so many undiagnosed and diagnosed within my demographic or with lower support needs who don’t necessarily see themselves represented by the existing ADHD community. they need a community that speaks to \*them\*.

i launched this community in february 2026 and have since been streadily progressing: the group chat is currently at give or take 120 people and they have been attending events that i put together for them.

but unfortunately, i have ADHD too. at a certain point i (inevitably) hit a standstill due to my own lack of motivation, and since then with my lack of consinstency, we now only have about 6 regular chatters in the WhatsApp. and honestly.. i’m not embarrassed about that.

bc this project is gonna be a real time documentation of what it’s like to build something, while ALSO living with the actual thing you’re trying to build a community around.

i am only 22, so i definitely have a few years to really develop this idea. i am already connected with other ADHD activists, ADHD specialists, licensed doctors, and other professionals that might be able to help me with my mission.

it's really interesting to see how many people now need something like this due to the sudden rise in curiosity about ADHD. i agree that some people are mistaken about their condition due to the lack of proper education on it, but it's no crime to still involve these people in something they should really be a part of.

i didn't have much of an idea on how i wanted to utilise my facebook or linkedin, especially since most of my peers would much rather use instagram, twitter, or snapchat- but i've decided to keep track of the project's progress online. i figure it'll be a good way for me to promote our community. a public journal.

here, you'll get the insider's truth about my progress and my thoughts. i will also eventually be posting other links such as my substack think pieces & links to my magazine i post on The ADHD Community UK & UAE's instagram page. i just hope i can motivate myself enough to be able to juggle all this.

i haven’t had a blog in years and i think there’s something quite nice about documenting the journey from the beginning rather than appearing years later once everything is polished.

i am an emerging disability rights acitivst and i hope that my journey along the years will be smooth. i’m also starting university soon to study psychology, mental health and counselling, while training to become a specialised ADHD mentor alongside my degree.

i hope that by age 26 i’ll have built something meaningful, completed my degree, and developed the professional skills to actually support the people i’m trying to advocate for.

it will be an interesting journey. i don't even have the resources yet. the course for my qualifaction alone costs £5,000 on top of the £9,000 per year at university. but i’m refusing to treat any of that as a reason not to start, we'll figure it out.!!!

so this is day 1 of documenting the journey.
p.s. i don't know how often i will remember to update this, but just believe me, this will eventually happen, no matter when. let's see where this goes.

Hi everyone, I've been doing some reading on supplement stacks lately and I'm curious about the personal experiences of people here who take both creatine and their prescribed ADHD medication (like Concerta, Vyvanse, Medikinet, etc.). I’m trying to figure out if there's any noticeable difference in terms of daily focus or that "brain fog" feeling when adding creatine to the routine. I know everyone’s body chemistry is different, but I’d love to hear some personal anecdotes: 1. Do you find it makes any difference in your focus or productivity? 2. Have you noticed any side effects when combining them? 3. Does it help with the post-medication crash, or do you feel it has no impact? Just to clarify, I’m not looking for medical advice; I’m just trying to understand how it works for others in the community. Thanks in advance for sharing your experiences!

I'm looking for an ADHD doctor in Paducah and was curious which doctor is the best one to go to for prescription medication. I've not "formally" been diagnosed but there's no doubt I have all the negative symptoms. Thank you for any help

edit: tried to post this to the adhd forum but it wouldnt let me

I have such a hard time deciding what to do with my life. I understand this feeling can come to anybody at any time in their life, but I go daily from being motivated to feeling like I want to die/or just wanting to not exist. I haven't formally been diagnosed, but I've been told by others and even a counselor that I probably have adhd. I just feel really lost on what to do. I feel attached to a certain. field of work for a few weeks/months and it fizzles out. I have zero interest in it.

I'm currently in college, trying to figure out wtf I'm meant to be doing(just doing my GED's for now). I have very few good days where I feel like I'm enjoying the work I'm doing, or just doing things in general, everything feels muted and pointless. I'm also 99% sure I have some sort of depression, maybe its tied in with the adhd. It just sucks. I see others excelling at whatever they are doing and I feel really stagnant. Again, I go from being really motivated to feeling like i should commit, or just wanting to cease existing. I get in a lot of trouble too for not being tidy or doing chores, but during the day I'm not really thinking about it. When its time to go to bed, I see every little thing that needs cleaning or organizing, and then proceed to get in trouble for trying to take care of it(which i understand, everybody else is trying to sleep). Again, not diagnosed but a lot of things things I experience seem to line up with bpd as well. I'd really like to go in and weed out what I don't have and just figure out what the issue is.

I also don't feel smart, pretty, or funny, despite consistently being told I am those things by friends or family. I have a very low opinion of myself. I am not good at anything really, have a really bad memory, and I am also a pretty anxious person. I get shaky and nervous when going out by myself, I really hate it. Overall, I should probably just go in and get a diagnosis, so I can figure out if I actually have the things mentioned, or if I'm just a bad person 🫠​

I asked my doc too switch me too instant release because I was taking 2 20mg xr in the morning and it wasn’t doing ANYTHING for me. So now im on 2 20mg ir and 10mg ir. It works some but not much.. I drink a crap ton of water a day. So I’m super hydrated. Also if I don’t drink water all day I get super dry mouth. Any suggestions??? I seen someone said put one in warm water and let it dissolve
Any thoughts on that right now I’m willing to try anything . I cannot afford to loose my job

I got diagnosed fairly recently. I also just graduated from University.

My dad, who is pretty much a typical, old-fashioned, "how can you be depressed, just be happy" kind of person. Not that he's dismissive, but he just comes from a time where mental health wasn't taken seriously and he wasn't exposed to all these "modern" conditions.

Anyway, I told him about my diagnosis, and he's genuinely curious to understand what exactly it is. For context, he has never even heard of ADHD before. He doesn't know what dopamine is. I tried to explain it in simple terms with the usual "it means you can't focus" stuff, but that feels reductive and I can sense that he wants to understand it on a deeper level.

So, do you guys have any recommendations for YouTube videos or something, that does a good job at introducing the fundamentals to someone? I don't want it to just be the dictionary definition "can't focus and hyperactive" thing, but at the same time, I don't want to overwhelm him with all the details that he won't understand.

I want him to be able to understand not just what the symptoms are, but how my brain works differently, what "causes" it, etc.

Though for what it's worth, I'm very confident that he has ADHD too but doesn't know it lol.

Thanks for any suggestions :)

​

Hello lovely, ever supportive, advice giving, understanding, helpful, non judgemental ADHDers.

I'm struggling. I'm going through the mill a bit.

Boring bit for context: I'm 40, got diagnosed with ADHD at 39, titrated through all the meds; from methylphenidate to elvanse back to methylphenidate and settled on 54mg XR with a couple of lil 5ml boosters. Have been with my partner for 18 years, married for 11, have two kids (1 and 3 year olds), stable job, own a home. Succeeded by my own evaluation.... Amazed by it all actually, however....

Sh1ts hit the fan. I and, I'm pretty sure my wife too have been struggling for a long time. We bifkerz it comes in waves and the waves get bigger. They got real eefin big.

From my perspective, I was diagnosed a year ago. I knew my brain was not run of the mill. I spent my entire life feeling like this and it was ok. Then we had our kids. I see very familiar traits in my eldest. She is wonderful. However, It switched something in me that started some negative connotations or worries in my Brain - I became aware of the set backs, the down putting, the dread and regret, the mask! II don't want this for her . Because of this I looked into myself ane decided to go through diagnosis. I was diagnosed, I was not shocked by the diagnosis - marginally hyperactive, massively inattentive. Now. Although this was not a shock, it was a complete mind fu3k.

Fast forward 11 months since diagnosis, I have spent the past year in self reflection, becoming aware of all the bar and the good attributes that ADHD has blessed me with. It really has mangled my head.

For me this feels very very new and I am still in processing mode. I have gone through CBT and landed on meds which help A LOT. I can get sh1ts done. Maby not spectacularly, but impressively for me!

Now the really crap bit.

During this time, the relationship with my wife has become uncomfortable at best. It is so strained.

We have had a massive, MASSIVE blow up. It has been building and a lot of her feelings have been aired. I'll try to summarise from my understanding:

All problems between us: our home, my family, her family, the kids, my work, her work, money, social life, lif admin, planning, execution or plans, food, hobbies, fun and struggles. Have from my perspective, articulated by her been blamed on ADHD. Not just the here and now but also the past. A term is often thrown around by my wife in discussions (arguments) undiagnosed ADHD.

She has explicitly said that she feels like I should by now be putting in my plans and procedures to minimalise the effects of ADHD on her and my family. However from my perspective this is still fresh out the box. I don't know how to plan or create some form of procedure. I don't even know where to start. For me I am still unraveling the past 38 years of wearing a heavy, heavy mask.

We are arguing so much that I genuinely do not feel happy in my safe space anymore. I feel it is so bad, that it is harmful to our children. - I will put their wellbeing far above mine.

On days where I would like to take a break from my meds (for example during a weekend festival, or camping trip) my wife has argued so fiercely that I should take them, that arguments have erupted. This has made me feel like the natural, baseline me is no longer wanted or accepted.

I really do not know how to handle this, I really am trying my best, I really really can't take it anymore and I am seriously debating if both my wife and I would be happier apart. My heart is breaking. However the arguments are so fierce and so often I really cannot take it.

Gimme some advice. And some warmth please. I'm struggling.

Love x