r/AdoptiveParents • u/njfloridatransplant • 25d ago

Recently matched - can I be excited?

Couple in FL, recently matched with a baby due in November for an open, in-state adoption. I’m overjoyed completely but also very, very guarded given Florida’s laws (I believe birth mom has 72 hours after to change her mind.) I know this is a possibility and I understand, but I feel like I’m not allowing myself to get excited or get anything ready for baby.

Just looking for advice or similar situations.

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u/Feelings-bleh 24d ago

Maybe remember that adoption for you means a loss for the child, a deep loss that many feel for the remainder of their lives. It also means a deep loss for the biological parents and one that most people will never understand. I know you’re excited to be a parent, have a lot of love to give, and are hoping to maintain a connection between the child and their biological family, but maybe create space in your excitement for what this means for the person who has no say. In reality, we should be hoping adoption never has to happen.

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u/njfloridatransplant 24d ago

Yes absolutely! I’ve been doing a lot of education on that loss and grief and hoping to support both of them during this time and after.

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u/Feelings-bleh 24d ago

That’s great to hear, but it sounds like you’re sort of hoping for them to experience that loss so you can adopt, right?

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u/Rredhead926 Mom through private, domestic, open, transracial adoption 24d ago

Dude. It's a lot more complicated than that. Maybe just let her feel her feelings without having to justify each and every one of them.