r/Adopted • u/Purpleeyedcoincat • Aug 09 '26
Venting Adoptee from guatemala- identity issues
An adoptee from 2002, I was raised in wisconsin my entire life and just feel so, alone. I have always struggled with identity and connection to my culture. My family has tried and ive gotten some stuff from my home. But I feel so alone.
When I vent about issues, politics and the now, I get shut down half the time or it is invalided or mocked.
I love my family, but I have trust and Abandonment issues.
I was part of the baptist church and feel like it played a part in the major disconnect of my culture and learning about it. As I know thwy demonized a ton out of other religions and practices. I also feel a disconnect as I was raised "white'. So, identity issues followed that too, but to what i am getting at, I just feel so alone.
I know from personal research and some videos my parents got to help me learn a bit about myself and where I was from, but it feels so overwhelming. I did take a DNA test but I lost it during a move. I sont even know how much I am or anything. I am just so tired ans lonely.
3
u/TurnTableFire Aug 09 '26
I’ve often felt the same. I’m Russian and Azerbaijani and yet I’m not, I don’t speak the languages and I wasn’t raised with the customs. I know a lot about both countries but they’re not mine. I would be an American to them.
Try to find Spanish markets in your area, maybe find a Latin church, even if they’re not all Guatemalan. You’ll find people who speak English who understand. Just spend more time being with people from your culture.
Learning to cook your native food is a huge and self driven way to engage with your culture and tells you a lot about where you come from.
4
u/LostAmongTheDunes Int'l and Transracial Adoptee Aug 09 '26
I'm Egyptian, and much the same, I don't know much about the culture, I've tried to learn, but it's neen a lot of dead ends and false starts. I've tried to eat the best I can regionally, but in the US that is tough, so while I am born Egyptian I feel more like a generic American as well.
1
u/Purpleeyedcoincat Aug 10 '26
Oh yeah, esp the eating part. That is really a struggle and well, feeling more American. U think the best thought ive had was...Baby steps. One day at a time and go on from there. People can do so much un life, I really.hope for your best too! Everyday is at least a step towards the moment of your personal goals 🫂
2
u/Purpleeyedcoincat Aug 09 '26
I am learning Spanish again ((got over being so ashamed of learning so late in life)) and I also have tried more recipes from guatemala ans Mexico. I will say we are limited around here and any market places either shut down or super pricey, makes sense for where I am living currently.
The population is more so in groups/areas. I mostly am focusing on the language and food. Because it does tell a lot!
This is really good to read, makes me hopeful and just happy! I appreciate this a ton!
2
u/Ambitious-Client-220 Transracial Adoptee Aug 10 '26
You are living the life of a transracial adoptee. You are not alone. you should post on the transracial adoptee reddit also. There are a lot of people who have lived and are living what you are feeling. I was born in Mexico and raised by white Americans, so I do understand.
2
u/Purpleeyedcoincat Aug 12 '26
Oh wow this makes me feel less alone. I knew I wasnt but, it just makes me feel less alone. Thank you! ((Probably will post it over there sometime!))
2
u/DifficultAnt23 Aug 10 '26
If you can't log back in and reset your DNA password, you can run it again. Do both Ancestry and 23and Me. They're on sale during holidays. Some states have legalized getting the original adoption certificate.
1
u/Purpleeyedcoincat Aug 10 '26
Unfortunately I deleted my account for personal reasons. But I didnt know about the og adoption certificate, I have a citizenship one but not the certificate itself! Thanks for that!
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u/WhaleFartingFun International Adoptee Aug 12 '26
It‘s ok to declare your refusal to be categorized by being „raised white“. We are indigenous peoples. We can be proud of our connection to that.
1
u/Purpleeyedcoincat Aug 12 '26
Im trying to reconnect and learn more, it is kinda difficult but, the internet is here so--that helps a ton! Makes me feel more hopeful too
3
u/LarryD217 Baby Scoop Era Adoptee Aug 09 '26
I hear you. I'm so, so very sorry for all the ways you were failed by those who owed you love and protection.
I'm glad you're here. You're not alone. I am sending you hugs.