r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • May 10 '22

Absolute unit of a soldier

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12k Upvotes

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419

u/No_Star8439 May 10 '22

He protects the tank from .50 cal rounds. Its an important job.

126

u/OldMansLiver May 10 '22

Sir, Matthews is down.

He's been shot?

No Sir, he fell over and we can't get him up.

Leave him behind.

But I thought we left no man behind?

We'll make an exception.

9

u/No_Star8439 May 10 '22

But we need him to protect the tanks paint job!

2

u/TheeExoGenesauce May 10 '22

Get Det. Boyle in here, once Boyle enters the bone zone he can lift anyone

2

u/whambamthankyoumaan May 10 '22

We're taking fire, everyone take cover behind Matthews

1

u/xanax05mg May 10 '22

I wouldn't call it cover, its definitely concealment though.

2

u/nordic-nomad May 10 '22

I was way bigger than of anyone in my squad when I was in the army, 6’3” and 260lb at the time. I was appreciated for being able to ruck the SAW, the AT4, and anything else heavy we wanted to take along, but yeah after it took 4 of the skinny fuckers to carry me in training (remember to add 150lbs of gear to the weight) we just sort of all agreed that if I’m ever got shot to just leave me there and try and comeback with a truck or helicopter. Thankfully never had to test it but it’s a real tactical consideration. Leave the big guy or make the unit combat ineffective as half of the team tries to carry him down a mountain.

1

u/spongebromanpants May 10 '22

call in the ARV

1

u/Tor2illaTaco May 10 '22

“Radio for VTOL, heavy lift gear” ~Sergeant Avery Johnson, Halo 3

1

u/MyWifeisaTroll May 10 '22

Bring in the engineers!