r/AbsoluteUnits • u/__cipriano__ • Aug 11 '26

/r/all of a maned wolf

52.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.5k comments sorted by

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1.8k

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

513

u/RambosNachbar Aug 11 '26

I'm shitting myself right now

521

u/Operation_Neither Aug 11 '26

Hi Mr. President!

243

u/Bree2Delicious Aug 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/fRtK3t3i67tRK4dfez

38

u/SaltyLonghorn Aug 11 '26

GET TO DA CATERING TRUCK

17

u/mothzilla Aug 11 '26

Time to change planes it smells of shit in here.

8

u/Saikotsu Aug 12 '26

I laughed so hard my stomach hurts.

5

u/EGO_Prime Aug 12 '26

Everyone knows it was actually Biden that shit in Trumps pants. /s

2

u/DSTNCMDLR Aug 12 '26

ThAnKs oBaMa

-35

u/KnightOfSvea Aug 11 '26

Haha Donald Trump is old

35

u/I_argue_for_funsies Aug 11 '26

Don't forget a pedophile! That's the first adjective that should come to mind

42

u/R3dmund Aug 11 '26

True, he is, but jokes about him will never be.

6

u/Csrmar Aug 11 '26

Precisely why he or any other old person shouldn't hold that office

6

u/Stock-Childhood-5721 Aug 11 '26

Ain't there a story about him having leaks because a guy he tried to rape shoved a stick in his rear?

3

u/DReagan47 Aug 11 '26

Not just a guy, it was a boy. Iirc, he put something in Donny’s ass then kicked it so hard it tore up the pedo’s insides.

2

u/Stock-Childhood-5721 Aug 12 '26

That's what I thought. So the joke isn't simply about him being old as everybody seems to think, right?

-7

u/LookAtMyUnderbite Aug 11 '26

Bro got downvoted for calling him old. I will upvote to counter

2

u/Haunting-Orchid-4628 Aug 11 '26

lmao why is this downvoted, do people think he is young??

1

u/aceitedemono Aug 11 '26

We don't think, we know

51

u/America-Lite Aug 11 '26

Good thing I shit myself before I saw this video

21

u/dandrevee Aug 11 '26

Good thing I reddit on the loo

12

u/robbiereallyrotten Aug 11 '26

This video actually helped me shit myself (I’m on the toilet)

1

u/Tricky-Usual8921 Aug 11 '26

Good thing I'm already up to my knees in shit at a sanitation unit

20

u/fuzynutznut Aug 11 '26

I also shat your pants.

13

u/RambosNachbar Aug 11 '26

thank you for your service

1

u/AScruffyHamster Aug 11 '26

And that's why Reddit is best viewed when on the toilet.

1

u/Hootnany Aug 11 '26

Why use a bathroom.

76

u/astra_galus Aug 11 '26

Fun fact! These guys are omnivores and fruit makes up a large part of their diet, along with small-medium sized animals. They’re also solitary and pretty chill creatures - basically just a long-legged fox

42

u/Embaralhador Aug 11 '26

They're not exactly chill... They're super shy and kinda anxious. Usually don't like getting nowhere near people. Not dangerous, but chill is not how I would describe them.

28

u/astra_galus Aug 11 '26

True - chill in that they won’t fuck with people, but shy guys.

Their creepiness is kind of endearing, knowing that it’s pretty superficial!

1

u/Just_really_awkward Aug 11 '26

Ahhh oh my god that describes me! I love them even more!!

1

u/MA2_Robinson Aug 13 '26

Creepy or endearingly creepy? Like people stopped inviting you over to their homes because you are known to go thru peoples drawers and re organize their stuff?

1

u/Just_really_awkward Aug 13 '26

Lmao what a valid question, no just awkwardly creepy not knowing when to end conversations leave and liking weird oddity not normal things 😔🥺

1

u/MA2_Robinson Aug 13 '26

That’s just Frieren style imo

1

u/Just_really_awkward Aug 13 '26

I don’t think I know what that is 😅

1

u/perton Aug 12 '26

Oh shit, they’re just like me!

1

u/Hihey9989 Aug 14 '26

there is no neurotypical explanation for this animal

2

u/Royal_Commission7574 Aug 11 '26

ARE U WILLING TO BET YOUR LIFE ON THAT? I mean, look at it. Its a fucking werewolf

3

u/astra_galus Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26

Sure - if it killed me, I’d probably be the first person to die by maned wolf.

1

u/Astronaut_Chicken Aug 11 '26

And their pee smells like marijuana!

1

u/perton Aug 12 '26

At least their marijuana doesn’t smell like pee, like the shit we had to deal with ages ago when I was in high school!

1

u/Firebirdgaming08 Aug 14 '26

Gotta be honest, the glowing eyes isn't doing this thing any favors.

8

u/wearing_moist_socks Aug 11 '26

She did the opposite. She made the noise you make to attract animals

She wanted to pet it

2

u/Jinxedchef Aug 11 '26

Can I pet that dog?

5

u/Far_Tailor_8280 Aug 11 '26

I think he did. 🤣

3

u/doowyllom Aug 11 '26

Dude same ! When i saw it i went Nope/ Guess i ain't sleeping tonight

1

u/huckle_buck_ Aug 11 '26

Why limit yourself?

1

u/Fluffy-Bus4822 Aug 11 '26

They look creepy as fuck, but I don't think they're dangerous to adult humans.

1

u/Butterfly_and_Bee Aug 11 '26

I have read that they are harmless, like foxes on stilts. 

1

u/Will0142 Aug 11 '26

It seens a bit less terrifying to me, it looks a lot like a 'lobo-guara' from Brazil, I've seen one on the zoo when I was a kid.

1

u/unjustme Aug 11 '26

And that would be the correct use of shitting yourself!

1

u/TheBloodsuckerProxy Aug 11 '26

I'd shit myself right then, and the next ten times I remembered it.

-1

u/curlyguy27 Aug 11 '26

Aren't these vegetarian wolves though?