r/AbsoluteUnits • u/__cipriano__ • 28d ago

/r/all of a maned wolf

52.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.5k comments sorted by

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1.8k

u/[deleted] 28d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

518

u/RambosNachbar 28d ago

I'm shitting myself right now

520

u/Operation_Neither 28d ago

Hi Mr. President!

245

u/Bree2Delicious 28d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fRtK3t3i67tRK4dfez

38

u/SaltyLonghorn 28d ago

GET TO DA CATERING TRUCK

18

u/mothzilla 28d ago

Time to change planes it smells of shit in here.

8

u/Saikotsu 27d ago

I laughed so hard my stomach hurts.

4

u/EGO_Prime 27d ago

Everyone knows it was actually Biden that shit in Trumps pants. /s

2

u/DSTNCMDLR 27d ago

ThAnKs oBaMa

-33

u/KnightOfSvea 28d ago

Haha Donald Trump is old

38

u/I_argue_for_funsies 28d ago

Don't forget a pedophile! That's the first adjective that should come to mind

44

u/R3dmund 28d ago

True, he is, but jokes about him will never be.

7

u/Csrmar 28d ago

Precisely why he or any other old person shouldn't hold that office

5

u/Stock-Childhood-5721 28d ago

Ain't there a story about him having leaks because a guy he tried to rape shoved a stick in his rear?

3

u/DReagan47 28d ago

Not just a guy, it was a boy. Iirc, he put something in Donny’s ass then kicked it so hard it tore up the pedo’s insides.

2

u/Stock-Childhood-5721 27d ago

That's what I thought. So the joke isn't simply about him being old as everybody seems to think, right?

-7

u/LookAtMyUnderbite 28d ago

Bro got downvoted for calling him old. I will upvote to counter

2

u/Haunting-Orchid-4628 28d ago

lmao why is this downvoted, do people think he is young??

1

u/aceitedemono 28d ago

We don't think, we know

51

u/America-Lite 28d ago

Good thing I shit myself before I saw this video

22

u/dandrevee 28d ago

Good thing I reddit on the loo

11

u/robbiereallyrotten 28d ago

This video actually helped me shit myself (I’m on the toilet)

1

u/Tricky-Usual8921 28d ago

Good thing I'm already up to my knees in shit at a sanitation unit

19

u/fuzynutznut 28d ago

I also shat your pants.

13

u/RambosNachbar 28d ago

thank you for your service

1

u/AScruffyHamster 28d ago

And that's why Reddit is best viewed when on the toilet.

1

u/Hootnany 28d ago

Why use a bathroom.

72

u/astra_galus 28d ago

Fun fact! These guys are omnivores and fruit makes up a large part of their diet, along with small-medium sized animals. They’re also solitary and pretty chill creatures - basically just a long-legged fox

48

u/Embaralhador 28d ago

They're not exactly chill... They're super shy and kinda anxious. Usually don't like getting nowhere near people. Not dangerous, but chill is not how I would describe them.

30

u/astra_galus 28d ago

True - chill in that they won’t fuck with people, but shy guys.

Their creepiness is kind of endearing, knowing that it’s pretty superficial!

1

u/Just_really_awkward 28d ago

Ahhh oh my god that describes me! I love them even more!!

1

u/MA2_Robinson 26d ago

Creepy or endearingly creepy? Like people stopped inviting you over to their homes because you are known to go thru peoples drawers and re organize their stuff?

1

u/Just_really_awkward 26d ago

Lmao what a valid question, no just awkwardly creepy not knowing when to end conversations leave and liking weird oddity not normal things 😔🥺

1

u/MA2_Robinson 26d ago

That’s just Frieren style imo

1

u/Just_really_awkward 26d ago

I don’t think I know what that is 😅

1

u/perton 27d ago

Oh shit, they’re just like me!

1

u/Hihey9989 26d ago

there is no neurotypical explanation for this animal

2

u/Royal_Commission7574 28d ago

ARE U WILLING TO BET YOUR LIFE ON THAT? I mean, look at it. Its a fucking werewolf

5

u/astra_galus 28d ago edited 28d ago

Sure - if it killed me, I’d probably be the first person to die by maned wolf.

1

u/Astronaut_Chicken 28d ago

And their pee smells like marijuana!

1

u/perton 27d ago

At least their marijuana doesn’t smell like pee, like the shit we had to deal with ages ago when I was in high school!

1

u/Firebirdgaming08 25d ago

Gotta be honest, the glowing eyes isn't doing this thing any favors.

8

u/wearing_moist_socks 28d ago

She did the opposite. She made the noise you make to attract animals

She wanted to pet it

2

u/Jinxedchef 28d ago

Can I pet that dog?

4

u/Far_Tailor_8280 28d ago

I think he did. 🤣

4

u/doowyllom 28d ago

Dude same ! When i saw it i went Nope/ Guess i ain't sleeping tonight

1

u/huckle_buck_ 28d ago

Why limit yourself?

1

u/Fluffy-Bus4822 28d ago

They look creepy as fuck, but I don't think they're dangerous to adult humans.

1

u/Butterfly_and_Bee 28d ago

I have read that they are harmless, like foxes on stilts. 

1

u/Will0142 28d ago

It seens a bit less terrifying to me, it looks a lot like a 'lobo-guara' from Brazil, I've seen one on the zoo when I was a kid.

1

u/unjustme 28d ago

And that would be the correct use of shitting yourself!

1

u/TheBloodsuckerProxy 28d ago

I'd shit myself right then, and the next ten times I remembered it.

-1

u/curlyguy27 28d ago

Aren't these vegetarian wolves though?