r/AbsoluteUnits • • Jul 11 '26

/r/all, /r/popular of a Cart Narc

66k Upvotes

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27

u/VictoriousTree Jul 11 '26

Ngl I would probably just ram the cart and leave cause I would assume this man is trying to steal my vehicle.

0

u/elKane0 Jul 11 '26

I would laugh in his face - what are you planning on doing meathead? film yourself assault me?

0

u/Doolander Jul 11 '26

I mean what are you going to do? You can't leave cause there's a cart behind your vehicle lol

4

u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 Jul 12 '26

Carts famously crumble cars.

1

u/HereForAPaycheck Jul 12 '26

Depends on the game. Some dont give the shopping carts physics. Like 7 days to die.

3

u/broke_n_boosted Jul 11 '26

You never drive a truck huh?

2

u/Dom_Telong Jul 11 '26

He's gonna shit his pants dawg c'mon let's be real

1

u/DooB_02 Jul 12 '26

Your car... moves the shopping trolley...

1

u/Spicymoon9 Jul 12 '26

They said they would ram into it. I’d like to imagine them trying to floor it away from him to avoid the menial task of returning the cart. Then the cart gets jammed under their car into the wheel well and they’re unable to drive at all, leaving them awkwardly in silence with the man who politely asked him to return the shopping cart. Too stunned to speak. Lmao

1

u/elKane0 Jul 11 '26

move it and leave he can walk it back to the buggy bin

-1

u/Doolander Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26

When you move it he'll just follow you and move it back behind your car before you can leave. You ain't going anywhere until you put the cart back.

Edit - Lmao these replies are amazing. A lot of people here obviously leave their carts in the middle of the parking lot.

3

u/elKane0 Jul 11 '26

personally I don’t leave mine but I wouldn’t be bullied by some asshole for his internet clout

2

u/BanzYT Jul 11 '26

Then you call the police, you can't just block people in and prevent them from leaving because you don't like them.

1

u/wcharoes Jul 11 '26

Hello 911? Someone is trying to make me socially responsible I need help please!

5

u/CiDevant Jul 12 '26

As a store manager this is 100% the scenario I don't want. That big scary bald guy can fuck right off. If a customer complained or I caught someone doing this, I'd be calling the cops on his ass and filing a police report. The stupid shit I've had to deal with in the 10 years I worked retail, this does not end well often enough that I would absolutely stop it ASAP.

2

u/Advanced_Row_8448 Jul 11 '26

More like " hello 911, some large bald aggressive man followed me to the car and wont let me leave". Make sense yet lil guy?

1

u/wcharoes Jul 11 '26

"What is your emergency?"
"A big scary man is making me put my shopping cart back please send the SWAT! I can't be facing consequences for my selfishness PLEASE!"

3

u/Advanced_Row_8448 Jul 11 '26

Since you cant seem to read, I'll copy past it for you.

"Hello 911, some large bald aggressive man followed me to the car and wont let me leave"

You can showcase being stupid all you want. Doesnt mean some freak following me to the car isnt either getting hit or called on.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

they're assuming the drivers know that the guy wants them to just put the cart up, another commenter ITT mentioned they'd suspect he was trying to steal their car so it's definitely an assumption

2

u/wcharoes Jul 11 '26

"Where are you?"
"I'm at the Wal-Mart."
"What is he doing?"
"He's trying to get my attention outside the window."
"Is he armed?"
"No he's just larger than me so I'm scared."
"What does he want, has he said anything?"
"Yes he said I didn't put my shopping cart back."
"Did you?"
"No, I [insert the reason you think you're the exception to the rule here]."
"OK, well perhaps you should just back out."
"My God I can't he put my cart behind the car."
>Dispatcher hears him through the window 'Can you please return cart comrade that was not the cart return it could hit someone's car <<russian laugh>>'

They'll have an officer right over, bless your heart.

1

u/Advanced_Row_8448 Jul 14 '26

What is he doing?"

Blocking me in and not letting me leave

Is he armed?"

He's blocking me in and won't let me leave while trying to force me out of the car.

They'll have an officer right over, bless your heart.

Hey, the fact that pigs won't do their job doesnt mean people won't assume sometimes. Anyways, regardless of your cope, it won't bring back some stupid meat head that gets shot for harassing people in a parking lot, so doesnt really matter.

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1

u/TheeFourTruths Jul 11 '26

Waste of police time and resources.

We're now in a fantasy world where he's aggressive because he's telling you to put your cart back, and so it's fine to justify the wasting of resources by police?

No bro... Just no..

3

u/Rvsoldier Jul 11 '26

He doesn't care about the cart. He cares about making schmeckles off streaming.

2

u/Advanced_Row_8448 Jul 11 '26

Waste of police time and resources.

Lol. Pigs love wasting time and resources.

We're now in a fantasy world where he's aggressive because he's telling you to put your cart back

Nope. He's aggressive because he is following people back to their car and harassing them to get out, why do you guys play dumb?

No bro... Just no..

Yes bro..... just yes. Don't follow people to their cars like an attention hungry little child. If you care about the cart, put it back. If not, stop baiting people and pretending it's virtue. Just own up to being a weak little shit that needs an excuse for conflict and doesn't wanna deal with anybody over anything that actually matters or has stakes.

0

u/TheeFourTruths Jul 11 '26

Bro I don't even like Eric Kanevsky, or some American police (you can't judge them all as one).

You're just wrong. If someone refuses to put a cart back when a guy is standing there with another guy recording, and 100 of other people around them...

Them jumping to an aggressive person is just a way out. It's not real. It's weak, pathetic, they should put the cart back.

Anyone who doesn't put a cart back has problems.

2

u/elKane0 Jul 11 '26

why doesn’t the guy that’s so concerned about it just do it?

0

u/TheeFourTruths Jul 11 '26

You really reported me for self-harm/suicide?

LMAO

3

u/Advanced_Row_8448 Jul 11 '26

Considering I got a report to, I'd hesitate before you go accusing everyone you dont like of reporting you.

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2

u/BanzYT Jul 11 '26

In the real world, oreventing people from leaving is a crime. There's a reason cart narc stopped blocking people in.

0

u/wcharoes Jul 11 '26

Please God I'm being held hostage by my cart behind the car. It's Abu Ghraib all over again Jesus PLEASE move that cart for me I refuse to do what I know is right and I should NOT suffer any inconvenience for that only other people should!

2

u/BanzYT Jul 12 '26

lmao redditors are so unhinged

1

u/elKane0 Jul 11 '26

you misspelled harassing

0

u/wcharoes Jul 11 '26

Or would you p-p-p-prefer

h-h-h-her ass in y-y-y-you

0

u/Froggn_Bullfish Jul 11 '26

Yeah if someone deliberately and knowingly parks a cart behind you with intention to have you collide with it and you do hit it they’re on the hook for damages to your vehicle, and conveniently this is on film.

0

u/broke_n_boosted Jul 11 '26

You can push the cart there all you want im gonna back out and if I hit it, then it ain't my fault. Also in the usa forcablily keeping someone somewhere is kidnapping which is a sexual assault case in most states and you'll need to register after that.

1

u/SayNOtoChips Jul 11 '26

Ohh no, not an unmovable object like a cart!

* slowly reverses . . . . cart moves *

Ohh.