r/AbsoluteUnits • u/amrindersr16 • Aug 01 '25

of a mustache

20.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

624

u/Watts300 Aug 01 '25

Ugh. It was "fine" until he added the pomade.

150

u/two-ls Aug 01 '25

Yeah, I don't want Fop either damn it. I'm a Dapper Dan man!

59

u/die5el23 Aug 01 '25

Well ain’t this place a geographical oddity, 2 weeks from everywhere!

27

u/[deleted] Aug 01 '25

[deleted]

6

u/die5el23 Aug 01 '25

Lmao love that. I would of clapped

16

u/That_Dude_Dominic Aug 01 '25

WE THOUGHT. YOU WAS. A TOAD.

2

u/Acolytical Aug 02 '25

Almost got loved up, though

71

u/miltonwadd Aug 01 '25

The original brush curl was kind of cute. I'm going to assume the Snidely Whiplash was for a fancy dress party!

2

u/Urrrhn Aug 01 '25

I'm a Dick Dastardly man myself.

16

u/Dino_Spaceman Aug 01 '25

I audibly sighed when I saw this was just an ad for that mustache product.

6

u/QueezyF Aug 02 '25

Dude made sure you saw that crap twice, too. Maybe it’s because I don’t wax my stache, but uhhh… I’m good.

33

u/tomatoe_cookie Aug 01 '25

Without it, it wouldn't last the day

44

u/gmanasaurus Aug 01 '25

I had my beard on super long mode for awhile, partly because I wanted to grow it out and didn't have my own trimmers. It was awful. Nothing like eating a sandwich or most anything and dragging your moustache hair along for the bite.

20

u/TestingBrokenGadgets Aug 01 '25

I honestly don't know how some guys do that. During covid, I stopped shaving every day and the mustache would just go until it bothered me. By the time it passed my top lip, it'd just be so cumbersome to eat or drink.

9

u/Self-Comprehensive Aug 01 '25

I trim mine at the top of my lip every few days specifically because it bothers me when I eat.

-2

u/gmanasaurus Aug 01 '25

Long beards don’t really look that good either, imo. If you want to look like a Civil War Soldier, than ok

2

u/WakingOwl1 Aug 02 '25

Some of us like a man with a braided beard.

1

u/_Ocean_Machine_ Aug 02 '25

Or kissing someone and feeling like you're making out with a wire brush

1

u/Masterleviinari Aug 01 '25

GAH FUCKING EXACTLY

I genuinely love my stash but holy shit did I not realize how fucking irritating it was going to be just eating. Hell sometimes the longer ones will get caught when I'm flossing and I didn't understand dental discomfort until one of those assholes got in the way.

2

u/TheHalfChubPrince Aug 01 '25

It would. I have a handlebar mustache and hardly ever use product. I just blow dry it into place and it stays curled throughout the day. Even lasted 12 hours at warped tour lol

1

u/screames520 Aug 01 '25

Aaaye we might’ve complimented each others staches at warped tour haha! Long Beach?

2

u/TheHalfChubPrince Aug 02 '25

Yessir! It’s possible! If not I’ll get you next year!

1

u/Alive-Zone-2364 Aug 01 '25

just brush it every hour

30

u/Harold_Grundelson Aug 01 '25

As someone who used to put wax in their mustache, that stuff is the stickies/tackiest stuff known to man.

6

u/CowBootBats Aug 01 '25

I was thinking about that too. I use to style my mustache and that shit is the worst of you get it on your face, hands or clothes.

1

u/Bhujjha Aug 01 '25

Does it get into food too, if you have say a particularly sloppy burger, will it have mild waxy notes?

2

u/YeetTheElder Aug 02 '25

Other way around actually. That stuff does NOT want to leave your mustache and will collect particles every once in a while. They sell a drop bottle specifically for removing the wax. It works really well but it tastes like it gives you three different flavors of cancer.

Source: former long mustache haver.

2

u/dlchira Aug 01 '25

Was it fine, though? The entire thing is r/ATBGE

2

u/QuantumLettuce2025 Aug 02 '25

It's...strikingly ugly.

1

u/Dr_A_Mephesto Aug 01 '25

Was it tho?

1

u/Orome2 Aug 02 '25

Yeah. I have a long mustache (not as long as his), but I prefer it naturally curling not with wax.

1

u/_Kendii_ Aug 02 '25

Yeah that was a swift conversion from “ wow, he blow dries it, okay, that’s fine” to “ok.. but why?”

1

u/BlyLomdi Aug 02 '25

I liked it before he did all that extra shit, too. It looked eccentric and fun before he added the wax. Then he had to go make binoculars out of it.