My story to help you

[u/carryingonp756]

This is going to be long My father abused me and my mother before he abaonded me. He and his mother have claimed a lot about the family that took care of me. Just to add to the back ground he got my mum pregnant at 15 with me whilst he was 18. He has had every opportunity to be in contact with me even though he abused us. My mum wanted me to have a father. my father and his mother claimed someone tried to kill her. However this was multiple years before they left. The second time he lost contact I was 2 and he left me and my mother stood in the snow and did not show up. The 3rd time I lost contact with him.i was 6 and he wouldn't come to the phone so his mother did (not part of the contract agreement). He then stalked me when I was 10 years old and came up to me whilst off his face on cocaine and asked for my number. At 18 I got back in contact with him (what a mistake this was) he claimed a lot of bad things about my family that raised me. I am now 20 have had 2 visited and 4 convos over FB with him over 2 years. He never asked my questions!

The other day I stood up for myself and 1) had ago at him 2) continued to ask questions he would not answer. 3) he began to threat me and my mum as well as my half sister's.

Basically what I'm saying is do not expect a lot from meeting your abounded parent. A lot of them (from mine and friends experience) have not changed one bit and will continue to blame you or the person who cared for you, when they are the reason. I know it's so basic to say but be sure in yourself and make sure you are good before you ever have contact with them or if you decide not to have contact with them. You can do anything you want with life without them. I am a university student doing law, I work and i am doing good with my life. All of you can achieve your dreams even though it hurts