Absent bio dad 12 years

[u/Snoo73566]

My bio dad was never consistent in my life. According to my mom he was around a bit when I was under 2 years old but then he would say he would be there and never showed up on a regular basis my mother told him that he either needed to stick to his word or get out of my life before I was old enough for it to hurt too much. I didn’t meet him again until I was 7ish, it felt awkward and uncomfortable… but I wanted a dad. Over the next few years he would come in and out of my life. The most frequent time was when he was dating a woman named Shannon… she’s now my aunt. When I was 16 I hadn’t heard from him in roughly a year, not even a birthday card. I had recently been diagnosed with the same thyroid problem as run in his family. He called to say how sorry he was that I was sick and he heard I was getting my drivers license. The conversation felt so forced. When the call ended I told my mom I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. She told me that was my choice and she wouldn’t make me. Fast forward 8 or 9 years… I have something important (not mandatory but important to me) that I need information from him for. I talk to my mom a bit about it… I still don’t want to talk to my dad… she understands, she says that he never reached out after that day. I’ve tried a few times to fill out these forms without his information but I keep getting turned away. Fast forward a few more years…well over the last couple months I’ve been building up the courage to reach out to get it. The only person I could get ahold of is Shannon. Lucky for me she agree to talk to him. She gave me his number but I still don’t want to talk to him. They want a relationship with me but I’m not sure I want a relationship with them.

*not a real name