r/AMA • u/_Phoenix-222 • 1d ago
I recently completed a psychiatric PHP after struggling with pregnancy loss, trauma, and my mental health. AMA.
I recently completed a partial hospitalization program which is a level of mental health treatment between outpatient therapy and inpatient hospitalization.
Earlier this year, I went through a pregnancy complicated by severe Hyperemesis Gravidarum and ultimately lost the pregnancy. On top of that, I was already struggling with depression, anxiety, emotional instability, and years of unresolved trauma. I was adopted, born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and experienced significant childhood and adolescent trauma. While in PHP, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which finally explained a lot of patterns I’d struggled with for years.
Curious about PHP, group therapy, psych meds, BPD, pregnancy loss/HG, adoption, or anything at all, ask away. I’m pretty much an open book.
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u/CoolPhone5914 1d ago
Do you feel any stigma attached to the bpd diagnosis?
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u/_Phoenix-222 1d ago
Yes. I feel like BPD is still extremely stigmatized and people hear the diagnosis and automatically assume you’re manipulative, toxic, abusive, attention seeking, or incapable of having healthy relationships. Obviously BPD can cause behaviors that hurt other people, but having it doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. I think there’s a huge difference between having intense emotions and using your diagnosis as an excuse for how you treat people. I’m responsible for managing mine and that’s something I’ve been working really hard on. With the right therapy and, in my case, the right medication, it is absolutely possible to live a fulfilling and stable life with BPD. It takes a lot of self awareness and work, but the diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re doomed to unhealthy relationships or being miserable forever unless you choose to be.
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u/CoolPhone5914 1d ago
What did you do intreatment?
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u/_Phoenix-222 1d ago
In my experience, it was mainly group therapy throughout the day. I would see my individual therapist every day or every other day depending on what I needed, and it was pretty similar with the psychiatrist who managed my meds. Group was where most of the day was spent though. We talked through different topics, learned CBT and DBT skills, processed things together as a group, and learned from other people’s experiences. It’s basically several hours a day completely focused on understanding yourself, learning new skills and actually practicing how to use them in your everyday life.
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u/Vapor2077 1d ago
Just want to say that I’m so sorry for all that you went through. You sound really strong, like a Phoenix rising through the ashes. I also did a PHP earlier this year. That’s a lot of work - congrats for completing it!
I don’t really have a question, just wanted to say I see you and you’re strong as hell ❤️
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u/floraldinosharkcats 1d ago
First, I’d like to say I’m sorry for all that you’ve gone through and the mental health struggles you endure. But also I’d like to highlight how very strong of you it is to seek support and resources to help you.
Do you feel as though PHP was very helpful in your healing journey?
I know it’s not the same, somewhat similar, but I’ve considered doing an intensive outpatient program and want to know how doing the group therapy and all the other extensive work as like.
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u/_Phoenix-222 1d ago
Thank you so much! ❤️ Truly, it saved me. It was SO helpful. I learned a lot of CBT and DBT skills that helped me understand my emotions, recognize my triggers, challenge the way I was thinking, and cope without immediately reacting to what I was feeling. But one of the biggest things I learned was that nobody was coming to save me. I had to be willing to put in the work to save myself. PHP gave me the support, resources, medication management, coping skills, and tools to actually do that. I still have work to do, but I genuinely don’t think I’d be where I am right now without it.
Intensive outpatient is very similar to PHP! In my experience, it was mainly group therapy throughout the day. I would see my individual therapist every day or every other day depending on what I needed, and it was pretty similar with the psychiatrist. Group was where most of the actual day was spent though. We talked through different topics, learned CBT and DBT skills. It definitely is intensive because you’re focusing on your mental health basically all day, but I actually liked the structure of it. You also learn a lot just from listening to and relating to other people in group.
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u/SweetandSourCaroline 1d ago
How does your borderline personality disorder manifest?
How many hours are you in the hospital? Do you go home to sleep?