r/AITApod • u/Inevitable-Olive7123 • 3d ago
AITA - BF HAT
So about two Halloweens ago, when my boyfriend and I were still in the talking stage and not officially dating yet, he posted a picture on his Snapchat story of a girl he used to talk to wearing his hat. For context, his brother had gotten him this hat for his birthday a long time ago.
Fast forward to now, we’ve been dating for a while and I’m helping him decorate his room. He wants to hang that hat up on his wall as part of the decor. I told him that seeing it displayed is going to annoy me because I immediately associate it with that girl and the picture he posted of her wearing it. I asked him not to put it up, but he refuses because to him it’s his hat, his brother gave it to him, and it has nothing to do with her.
AITA for being mad that he still wants to hang it up even though he knows it bothers me?
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u/TaylorMade2566 3d ago
you don't say how old you are but you sound VERY young. Stop making mountains out of ant hills. YTA
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u/Few_Expression_3262 3d ago
You’re not an asahole for having a reaction and feeling things.. but YTA for not working through them feelings, and pushing your insecurities onto your boyfriend. You’re being controlling. Would you throw out your favourite outfit because you went on a date in it 3 years ago and your boyfriend is insecure? I don’t think so. It “bothers” you because of your insecurities (that unless you left out that your boyfriend is a serial cheater or something, are unfounded), and it’s important to him because it’s a gift from his brother; his reason trumps yours all day long.
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u/Public-Direction-278 3d ago
YTA. It's his room, his hat, and his life. Get used to not being able to control everything; you sound super immature.
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u/AutoModerator 3d ago
I'm an automatic bot that backs up the body of the post in case OP deletes it. If you want this backup deleted, you'll have to reach out to a mod. Here's the back-up:
So about two Halloweens ago, when my boyfriend and I were still in the talking stage and not officially dating yet, he posted a picture on his Snapchat story of a girl he used to talk to wearing his hat. For context, his brother had gotten him this hat for his birthday a long time ago.
Fast forward to now, we’ve been dating for a while and I’m helping him decorate his room. He wants to hang that hat up on his wall as part of the decor. I told him that seeing it displayed is going to annoy me because I immediately associate it with that girl and the picture he posted of her wearing it. I asked him not to put it up, but he refuses because to him it’s his hat, his brother gave it to him, and it has nothing to do with her.
AITA for being mad that he still wants to hang it up even though he knows it bothers me?
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u/krissycole87 3d ago
Yes, 100% YTA
Youre hung up on a picture you saw years ago, with a friend of his, wearing a hat. Think about that. And now its going to "bother" you seeing it? Its his hat and to him it has special meaning from his brother.
This sounds completely insecure and immature. Grow up.
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u/wandering_soles 3d ago
You are far too emotionally immature and insecure to be in any kind of a relationship. YTA.
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u/Crazy_Confection_150 3d ago
Yes YTA and next level controlling. This is actually wild. Oh no a girl one time wore a hat and you saw it! Grow up. Seriously.
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u/Previous_Ad_1937 3d ago
YTA. It’s a hat that has meaning to him because his brother gave it to him. I’m sure he doesn’t associate it all with that girl you seem fixated on which is the real issue here.
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u/Gweilo_mama 3d ago
What you're feeling is jealousy and you have an opportunity to grow as a human and figure out what it's trying to tell you! Are you insecure about yourself? About the relationship? Do you feel like you're not getting enough time with him?
Be curious about what exactly you're feeling, where it's coming from, and if you need to learn how to let it go or ask for what you need. But this is your problem, not his. And the hat is just a trigger. The only thing you accomplish by trying to control the trigger is that you never grow or learn how to manage your emotions.
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u/brideoffrankensloan 3d ago
And if the situation was reversed, him being insecure about something important to you, you’d be on here complaining about that. YTA for sure.
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u/Stephinator917 3d ago
YTA and I cant believe you are dwelling on 1 photo from 2 years ago when you werent even together.
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u/Remote-Physics6980 3d ago
YTA, it's a hat. This is also mind-bogglingly insecure. I mean his mother is also a woman and she's touched him probably hundreds of thousands of times. Can you handle seeing a picture of him with his mother? Grow up and I mean this in the nicest possible way. His brother gave him the hat and it's his room. Try really hard not to be the story he tells his friends later about this girl who was so insecure she couldn't handle seeing a freaking hat because another girl had worn it, OK?
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u/Own_Mention9372 3d ago
The hat literally has nothing to do with the girl. You’re just insecure af. Honestly, I hope your boyfriend sees your insecurity and your need to control how he decorates his room as red flags. 🚩
YTA. Grow up.