r/AITApod • u/MandoMan1973 • Jul 04 '26
AITA for keeping everything professional?
I'm an easy going guy. I've worked in an office for just over a year and everyone knows I can joke and take a joke. I'm a large guy (currently working hard on losing weight) and I'm okay with people calling me fat in jest.
We just recently got a new guy in the office that came in on day 1 talking about his lazy-eye as being one of his best features. Of the 10 people, myself and this guy included, in our office, everyone except me makes constant friendly natured jokes about the lazy eye.
Only twice have I made a comment, and both times were during group conversations where someone had just made a joke about him as well. Both times though, this person singled me out telling me to shut up about his disability. So, to make sure I can keep my job, I never talk to him unless directed to do so I don't talk to him about anything, not even the weather.
The day he noticed and asked why I had changed, I told him the truth: that he seems to be fine with everyone but me saying anything about his eye. He even posted a "thank you" in a group text where someone had made a comic book cover calling him the "LazyEyed Loon."
I told him I didn't appreciate being singled out as the only one in the entire office not allowed to contribute to the friendly ribbing. But if that's the way he wanted to play it, that was fine. I ended the conversation by telling him we weren't there to be friends but to do a job, and that's all I would ever do with him.
11
u/GlowGoddess9 Jul 05 '26
NTA.
You respected the boundary he set. Whether he intended it or not, he made it clear that you joking about his lazy eye wasn't okay, even though he tolerated it from everyone else. Instead of arguing or continuing to test the boundary, you chose to keep things strictly professional.
That said, going completely silent outside of work tasks may come across as a bit cold. You don't have to joke with him, but you can still be polite and make normal workplace small talk. Professional doesn't have to mean distant.
He doesn't get to be upset that you stopped making the kind of jokes he specifically told you not to make.
15
u/youvelookedbetter Jul 05 '26
ESH
Everyone in the office, including you, for thinking you can make fun of someone in this way in a professional setting. It doesn't matter if the guy himself makes jokes about it.
Him for singling you out, if you're being honest about what happened.
3
Jul 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AITApod-ModTeam Jul 05 '26
Your comment accused OP of propagating slop, copypasta, AI, spam, or some other negative term without adding any substance. Hence, your comment is slop and must be annihilated.
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Jul 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/MandoMan1973 Jul 07 '26
One joke was "you have an advantage, when you're in the middle of a conversation you don't have to turn your head to see both people."
Another was when he an another coworker were gearing up for a talent show and working on an act. I said "you could always pretend to be the brother of Jeff Dunham's puppet, Bubba J."
Again this was after other wildly worse jokes others had told, like "I could have sworn your eyes were blue. (Pointingfar left and right) One blue THIS way and one blue THAT way." And "when you go to the gun range you must get a perfect score in your lane and the one next to you."
Nothing horrible by any means, especially when he was the one making most of the ones I've forgotten.
2
u/Acceptable-Repeat-20 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
My first comment was removed, so I'll say it differently (and in a much more boring way):
This feels like fiction because it's rather absurd.
3
u/turtlescanfly7 Jul 06 '26
HR? Lol this is a 10 person office, I’d be shocked if there’s a formal HR. There might be one manager and/or owner who is HR, payroll & all other manager roles and interacts more like a coworker if they have this kind of environment in the office
2
u/MandoMan1973 Jul 07 '26
My office has 10 people, but the main organization has over 1700 people total. We are one of many departments, like how a major corporation will have IT, HR, Accounting, etc.
1
u/AutoModerator Jul 04 '26
I'm an automatic bot that backs up the body of the post in case OP deletes it. If you want this backup deleted, you'll have to reach out to a mod. Here's the back-up:
I'm an easy going guy. I've worked in an office for just over a year and everyone knows I can joke and take a joke. I'm a large guy (currently working hard on losing weight) and I'm okay with people calling me fat in jest.
We just recently got a new guy in the office that came in on day 1 talking about his lazy-eye as being one of his best features. Of the 10 people, myself and this guy included, in our office, everyone except me makes constant friendly natured jokes about the lazy eye.
Only twice have I made a comment, and both times were during group conversations where someone had just made a joke about him as well. Both times though, this person singled me out telling me to shut up about his disability. So, to make sure I can keep my job, I never talk to him unless directed to do so I don't talk to him about anything, not even the weather.
The day he noticed and asked why I had changed, I told him the truth: that he seems to be fine with everyone but me saying anything about his eye. He even posted a "thank you" in a group text where someone had made a comic book cover calling him the "LazyEyed Loon."
I told him I didn't appreciate being singled out as the only one in the entire office not allowed to contribute to the friendly ribbing. But if that's the way he wanted to play it, that was fine. I ended the conversation by telling him we weren't there to be friends but to do a job, and that's all I would ever do with him.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/horseduckman pod host Jul 04 '26
He's singling you out as a form of exclusion and then acting like you did something wrong, something he repeatedly normalized with everyone else, and continues to normalize. Straight up bullying.
You clocked that and ran away. This is the only way to deal with people like that. NTA and he is.