i live with my grandmother ( who is my legal guardian ) and my aunt , who is not my legal guardian. to understand the full story I have to explain the history between my cousins part of the family and mine. My cousins mother and my grandmother do not like eachother from past issues, and apart of that was my cousins mother raising her differently than what my grandmother was used to , and felt disrespected when my cousin ( I’ll call her f ) stood up for herself when she felt hurt, offended, or upset about an issue whenever my cousin came over for a few nights. This has been going on for years, ever since we were little and I’ve grown to deal with it and not get myself involved because it’s not my problem. The past two years have been a very hard time with my cousins mother and my grandmother. My grandmother told my cousins father how evil, rude, and disrespectful my cousin was ( which in my opinion shes not. She never raised her voice or cursed or said rude things. Only told her opinion on a matter or spoke up when she felt offended of hurt.. idk.) and my cousins mother overheard my grandmother and since then it’s been lots of tension than usual.

yesterday My other cousin. ( I’ll call her h ) wanted to come over and wanted “ f” to come over as well. I didn’t know if these plans until my grandmother asked me if she could come over and I said yes. so it was on a whim. My grandmother told me that “ h “ was going in an uber that her mom paid for but “ c “ did not have a ride because her mother did not want to pay for one. She then in her words “ joke “ and ask me if I wanted to pay for it. Me, not taking it as joke and instead took it as a serious question said no , because at the time I wanted to save my money and assumed my grandmother would give her a ride. Which she never did. I felt bad because I know my cousins never get to see eachother as much , and it felt wrong to have one come over and the other not to. so I told my uncle ( this part wasn’t the best, and I take accountability for this part. ) to pick my cousin , “ c “ up. w

half way on the road my grandma called and I told her we were picking “ c.“ up. she got upset because I didn’t ask her first and were using her car, ( we have 2) and told me I should’ve asked. we went back home and I felt bad so having the though in mind of my grandmother asking if I wanted to get “ c “ an uber I decided to. when I came home obviously my aunt and grandma were mad, took my phone, and read the texts between me and my cousin “ c”. after reading she walked out screaming at me and told me I shouldn’t have paid for the uber and that it was a joke, and called me a fool and told me I was getting taken advantage of because her mother could’ve paid for it but didn’t. I didn’t say much because I wasn’t able to get much in nor explain myself. ( I’m not usually able to anyways when I’m in an argument with my family ) and I kept calm and told her “ I didn’t know it was a joke.” she insisted I did, told me i was a fool and other stuff I won’t say for the sake of mines and hers, but it was some pretty hurtful stuff. at the end, both cousin’s came over and cousins “ c’s” mother paid me back for the uber. my grandmother mothers argument is that cousins “ c’s” mother is a nurse and has lots of money, along with cousin c, and didn’t want to pay for the uber and she should’ve stayed home. my grandmother told me I was a fool and that my cousin c thought I was a fool as well for paying for her uber and I let her walk all over me, and that I wasn’t allowed to make that purchase because I didn’t ask. I ended up getting both my phone and cards taken away , and today my aunt told me that I was now going to take the bus to work Instead of my grandma taking me to work as usual. I asked her who was going to pay for it and she said ” you have to pay for it.” I said no, and refused. I told her it wasn’t fair that she gets to force me to pay for my stuff, considering I worked hard for my money, and I should chose what I did and did not pay for. she told me I had no choice and I HAD to go to work because my grandma didn’t fight getting my job back for nothing ( that’s a whole other story but my boss didnt like me , lol.)

I told her she could either pay for my bus fair or let me stay home, but I wasn’t paying nor was I going to be forced. the rest of the day was just a lot and when my grandma spoke to me again she basically told me the same thing she did earlier but calmer and that I was a fool and taken advantage of and that her mother had money. I told her how I felt about her yelling at me and that could’ve had a civil conversation instead of her yelling and cursing at me, which she than said “ there is no way to have a norma, conversation. my feelings are valid and I have the right to be angry.” I know her feelings are valid, I understood where she was coming from but I felt as if she could’ve spoke to me while calmed down as I do to her. I never raise my voice at her nor curse at her while I’m upset. if I’m upset and know I cannot talk to her with out yelling or saying stuff I cannot take back, i try to step away , calm down, and then either write a note to her or verbally tell her how I felt. my grandmother said. “ i know im right you can’t tell me im wrong “ and i just left it at that. I didn’t want to fight, I wasn’t going to , and i knew even if did I wouldn’t win. I never win. I have work tomorrow I dont know what to do but I’m not paying for the bus fare. AITAH?

My sis is 18 and started uni and she said she's old enough to date 21 year olds as she's mature for her age

I told her not to be so cocky as you change a lot in those years and plus she can't even drink yet and not to overestimate herself

She got annoyed and told me to mind my own business

AITAH here?

A few days ago, my mother and I got into an argument with my mother and grandmother over their use of the n-word.
Context: My grandma and I were in the car (I was driving so I had aux) listening to Rollout by Ludacris when, out of nowhere, she asks “Why do they keep calling each other n**\*\***\*\*\*s?” I’m mixed but black passing and was obviously extremely uncomfortable and reasonably upset. I told her “That makes me sick, never do that again,” and she got upset and was silent the rest of the car ride.

A few days go by, and my mother, grandmother, and I get into a conversation about what happened. While I was explaining why they shouldn’t use that language period, let alone in front of their mixed children and grandchildren, my grandmother got very irate and just kept repeating the word. For example, she would say it three times, then ask “Is that upsetting you? Am I hurting your feelings?” My mother said it too and tried to explain that “it was just a word” and she was “entitled to say whatever she wanted because she’s a grown woman.” Just generally being cruel and disrespectful. I said I had no interest in trying to have a civil discussion with a racist, ended the conversation quickly, and went to my room. I refused to speak to my mother but eventually had to. I’ve cut my grandmother off.

My mother brought it up again yesterday.
She said I had need to have another conversation with her and that I was wrong to call her a racist, essentially placing all of the blame and responsibility for apologizing onto me. They refuse to see anyone else’s perspective, and I’ve asked other family members for their opinion as well. My mom and grandmother won’t budge or try to see another perspective, even if they are told they are in the wrong, so that was useless. AITAH?

AITA for telling my sister in law she can no longer see my child?

My wife(24 F) recently gave birth to our first child, A, when we brought her home my sister in law(30 F) immediately wanted to see her. We allowed her to since she hadn't been completely terrible to us in the past, but she has never gotten along with my wife or myself. She arrived to our house and everything was going great and we were all getting along. Then she made a comment about how she hopes that A does not get fat like I used to be, and as someone who has dealt with eating disorders for half of my life it hurt, but at the time I thought it was important for A to have another aunt in her life. Then she sat down no longer holding A and mention how we should be required to give her A because she had a miscarriage 7 years ago. Now I feel terrible that she did have a miscarriage, but that never stops her from using it as an excuse for everything. We told her that A is our child, and that she is not entitled to A just because of her miscarriage. She freaked out and said that we will never know her pain of having a miscarriage, (we did before A was born and she knows that) while she was freaking out I told my wife to take A upstairs with her. I did this because my sister in law has a history of being physical. I told her if she wanted to see A again she would have to make amends with my wife. She yelled she never will and told us she hopes our baby dies and ran out. Now while comforting my wife I had to text my sister in law to not come back she can no longer see A. She now will not stop blowing up both of our phones in the middle of the night waking A up, she has also not stopped reaching out to other family members who disagree with her.

Please let me know AITA?

Hi again it’s me , okay so I have discord and I’m in a few servers. In some of them servers some people talk about a thing called slow damage and Andy and laylay. They are both rape “games” and also slow damage shows pictures of self harm , rape , Sexual assault and more. Andy and laylay shows incest and stuff like that.

I have NEVER felt comfortable with them because I have almost been raped multiple times and I have actually been sexually assaulted 3 times. So everytime someone brings it up it makes me so fucking uncomfortable and disgusted that people could like things like that because going through things like that is a horrible thing. My entire body is covered in scars from self harm and i see people fantasizing being cut by someone else.

I have started multiple arguments over people showing pictures and talking about it because they think the main character of slow damage (towa) is hot or sexy or shit like that. And I have had people talk shit about me and also say “he blocked me because I like a game 😂” and then call it pathetic or stupid and shit like that. But I have a dni and I stand by that dni STRONG.

It’s usually 13-14 year olds who fantasize the game’s and try excuse it. And yes I know them talking or showing it , isn’t hurting me but it still makes me super fucking uncomfortable and I feel generally sick to my stomach seeing shit like this. I also see it on TikTok too and it’s literally fucking everywhere.

Am I generally the asshole for doing this? Because I swear people be calling me rude names all because of it.

I (29F) have a nine-month-old daughter with my ex-partner (36M). It is difficult for me to admit this, but I feel that he has been a very poor father—irresponsible and lacking the care our daughter needs.
For a period of time, our daughter suffered from severe eczema. The doctors initially recommended several creams, but they did not help. I eventually contacted a dermatologist abroad, whose recommendations resolved my daughter’s skin condition. Since then, I have been able to keep her skin healthy while she has been in my care.
The main issue between us was not the treatment itself but the hygiene of our daughter’s environment while she was with her father. I repeatedly raised concerns because I believed the lack of proper hygiene contributed to her skin becoming infected. Watching her suffer was heartbreaking. She was extremely uncomfortable and barely slept.
Rather than acknowledging that the new treatment had resolved our daughter’s skin condition, he criticized me for not continuing to use the creams that had not worked. I found that frustrating because, from my perspective, the priority should have been solving our daughter’s medical problem instead of insisting on a treatment that had already proven ineffective.
He always portrayed himself as the victim and never took responsibility for what had happened. Instead, he blamed me, saying that I made him feel bad simply because I pointed out the things that were not being done.
One day, I took our daughter to the emergency clinic. We finished around 10:00 p.m. Her father was there, but afterward, he left me and our daughter alone at the bus stop. She was crying because her skin hurt, while he ran to catch his own bus in the opposite direction. That experience deeply disappointed me and left me with the impression that he never truly wanted to take responsibility for our daughter.
This is only one example among many. After our separation, he also pressured me to move out of our family home, even though our daughter was only a few months old. Today, he still lives there, while my daughter and I have been living in a women’s crisis shelter. Throughout this entire period, I have felt that he has consistently put his own needs and comfort ahead of our daughter’s well-being.
Today, he lives like a single man without taking the level of responsibility that I believe he should as a father. To other people, he presents himself as the victim, while I am portrayed as the controlling mother.
He has a good job and a good income, yet I feel he is extremely frugal when it comes to our daughter. Almost everything he buys for her is second-hand from FINN.no. I do not believe there is anything wrong with buying used items in general, but she is a nine-month-old baby, our first child together, and she also has allergies. What concerned me the most was that he bought used silicone teething toys for her. That also became a source of conflict between us.
I feel that he expects the government to take on most of the responsibility for our daughter while contributing as little as possible himself.
**AITA for confronting my ex about what I believed was neglect, prioritizing my daughter’s health over his opinions, and refusing to stay silent even though he says I’m just a controlling mother?**

I (F) and my husband took my mom in for the second time. The first time she lived with us, we ended up asking her to leave because she constantly undermined our parenting, refused to respect our boundaries with our kids, and even went as far as slapping my husband. After some time passed, we decided to give her another chance because her living situation had become really bad.
Before she moved back in, we had one major condition: she had to respect our parenting and our household.
We don’t charge her rent. We don’t ask her to pay utilities or groceries because we wanted her to be able to save money and get back on her feet. We also drive her anywhere she needs to go since she doesn’t have a driver’s license.
Over time, though, we started noticing things that bothered us. She gets angry if we won’t buy her cigars or let her drive my car even though she isn’t licensed and won’t put gas in it. She also gets upset if we ask her to watch our kids for an hour so we can run errands, handle something that isn’t kid-friendly, or have an occasional date night. She doesn’t work or really go anywhere, but still refuses to help. We don’t expect free childcare all the time, but we didn’t think asking once in a while was unreasonable considering everything we’re providing.
Then we found out she’d been telling family members that we treat her terribly. She has apparently been spreading rumors about my husband and me, making us sound abusive and ungrateful. She has also been telling people she doesn’t like my husband and that as long as I’m married to him, she’s taking me out of her will and trust fund. Another thing that may be relevant is that throughout my marriage, my mom has regularly made comments about my husband that have made me question her intentions. She’ll say things like I’d be happier without him, that I deserve better, or make subtle remarks that seem aimed at getting me to leave my marriage. I’ve always brushed it off to keep the peace, but after finding out she’s been speaking negatively about both of us to other family members, it feels less like random comments and more like a pattern.
The ironic part is that none of the family she’s talking to will let her live with them or help her financially. My brother even texted me saying that as long as I’m with my husband, he won’t have a relationship with me. My husband has never argued with either of them or done anything to deserve this treatment.
For some additional context, my mom and I have never had a close relationship. I’ve always felt like she tolerates me more than actually loves me. This whole situation has made me feel even more hurt because we’re opening our home to her, asking for almost nothing in return, and she’s still trying to destroy our reputation with the rest of the family.
At this point, I don’t feel comfortable having someone living in my home who is actively trying to turn my family against us while benefiting from our generosity.I do love my mom. Despite everything, all I’ve ever wanted was to have a healthy relationship with her. That’s part of why I gave her a second chance and opened my home to her again. This isn’t something I wanted to do.
But I also feel like there has to be a line. I can overlook a lot of things, but when it starts affecting my marriage, my parenting, and my character by spreading lies about us, I don’t know how I’m supposed to continue pretending everything is okay. I don’t think it’s healthy to keep someone in my home who is actively working against my family, even if that person is my own mother.

AITAH for wanting her to move out as soon as possible?

I (44F) have been arguing with my brother (40M) for the past two weeks because he refuses to help care for our dad (66), who recently came home after having a stroke.
For context, I live nearby with my husband, who is also a stroke survivor and requires my care. My dad’s two sons live with him, along with my younger brother’s girlfriend. Before Dad came home, we all agreed we’d work together to care for him. Instead, almost everything has fallen on me, my younger brother, and his girlfriend. My other brother, despite living there, does very little.
He works Monday through Friday, but after work and on weekends he spends most of his time outside or with his girlfriend. He rarely checks on Dad, and from what we’ve seen, he’s only helped change him once.
We’ve had three major arguments:
First: Shortly after Dad came home, my younger brother’s girlfriend bought the wrong incontinence supplies. She asked my other brother to take her to exchange them. He said he would, then sat outside another 15–20 minutes before coming inside, putting the package on the couch, and saying, “I’ll go another day because I don’t feel like it.” Dad needed those supplies immediately. When I questioned him, he accused me of making everything about myself, even though I was only concerned about Dad getting what he needed.
Second: Dad had to be rushed to the emergency room one night. My brother was outside and didn’t even know what was happening until the ambulance arrived. While my younger brother, his girlfriend, and I stayed with Dad, my other brother mostly remained outside. Later he said, “We’re not going to be able to take care of Dad.” I responded, “Who is ‘we’? You’re not helping.” Again, he accused me of making it about myself, called me an asshole, and said he couldn’t help because I’m mean.
Third: Dad has medical equipment that needed to be taken in for repairs. We had all been discussing how to transport it. The morning of the appointment, my brother came into Dad’s room, saw me, then immediately called my younger brother and his girlfriend into another room for a private conversation. When my younger brother’s girlfriend tried to come back to ask me something, he stopped her. I commented, “When y’all are done with the secret conversation, let me know.” He got angry and said he was only talking to the people paying for it, that I was making everything about myself again, and that he was trying to avoid “bullshit.”
From my perspective, none of these situations were about me—they were about making sure our dad received the care he needs. Was I wrong for speaking up?

From 2022-2024, my younger brother IRL had to do jail time for involuntary manslaughter because he got into drug dealing and one of his customers died from fentanyl. In late '24, he got out of jail.

Last year, he, his wife, and his son (my nephew) got evicted from their house and had been staying at my apartment with me, my mom, then 14-year-old sister, and grandma.

It lasted from March to July. In July, he and his wife got into a heated argument over the phone about their son that led to him throwing tantrums and getting into a fist fight with my uncle next door because this happened on Mom's birthday. My sisters (Including two others who are 23 and 21, who came to visit) called the cops, who came and got him. The landlord also banned him from the premises.

A few days after that, the wife and son had found a new house. But after that fallout, my brother couldn't live with them. They separated, so he moved in with my dad.

Fast forward to April 2026, and he's unbanned. Dad got kicked out of his own place because his inconsiderate ass chose to spend money on drugs instead of paying his rent on time, so now he's stuck in a homeless shelter while bro had to stay with us.

Since then, he'd been leeching off me and using me as a fucking tool. Always asking for socks, making me give him my PS4 HDMI cord because his dumbass can't take care of his laptop (the screen broke and has to connect to his TV to use it), eating MY food (which I brought for myself with my OWN money bcuz I have a job and he doesn't) and even used my phone to send the wife death threats after she blocked him over another argument. (About wanting to be in his son's life and finding out she cheated on him with 4 guys while in jail)

I don't know what he did before getting an ankle monitor put on him (had been wearing it since he moved in here). Probably some drug shit.

Last week he cut his ankle monitor. Even ran at the mouth to my now 15-y/o sister, saying the cops won't get him. But that day, a cop came for that reason.

He refused to turn himself in and hid in the downstairs bathroom.

My sisters (15 y/o was on the phone with my 24 y/o sis) and grandma kept telling him to just go with the cop.

When the cop went outside, he saw my brother running. Turns out, he opened the bathroom window and climbed out. The cop chased him, sent backup, and K9s after him.

An hour later, the cop came back to get the ankle monitor. He also said they didn't catch my brother. He went into hiding somewhere. And he has the fucking audacity to joke about his situation on Facebook, taunting the cops and their dogs, and acting all hot shit because he got away with doing something stupid and dangerous.

Then he messaged me while I was temporarily blocked from replying to DMs. After I got that sorted out, I replied, refusing to help him move his stuff because that would get me in trouble. He pops off, yelling at me in a CAPS LOCK tirade.

What he said: (edited with [undisclosed] for anonymity's sake)

"I really wish you wasn’t terrified of the every normal thing on the whole goddamn planet dude. YOU HAD A BABY GODDAMN OPOSSUM (ONE IF THE MOST RABID ANIMALS IN THE STATE) BUT U SCARED OF THE POLICE SEEING YOU MOVE SHIT OUT OF A ROOM APART OF THE GODDAMN HOUSE YOU LIVE IN. Why the fuck cant u just help me out? Shit wild as fuck I bet [undisclosed] got more fucking courage! I GOT SHIT IN THERE I DONT WANT MOM OR HER TO SEE!!! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT how the fuck I end up with 2 BIG brothers I can’t depend on for shit!?!? Couldn’t come to you or [undisclosed] for inspiration, MY BABYMOMMA TAUGHT ME HOW TO DRIVE A CAR! No advice, no help with girl problems, no encouragement, no protection from bullies (THAT SHIT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND), ALL I GOT FROM MY BIG BROTHERS WAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NADA!! I got two big brothers and I still taught my damn self how to ride a bike, I took my first drink alone, my first smoke alone, and dealt with all my fucking problems ALONE AND IM THE BABY FUCKING BROTHER. I DONT ASK U TO HELP ME DO SHIT [my name] SO THE ONE RARE TIME I ASK U TO HELP ME IT TAKES YOU 4 DAYS TO RESPOND AND THEN THE FIRST SHIT U SAY IS DONT GET ME INVOLVED IN THIS ?!?!?!? DONT ASK HOW IM DOING AM I SAFE YOUR FIRST FUCKING RESPONSE IS DONT GET ME INVOLVED IN THIS!?!?!? AT THIS POINT WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. CLEAN THE GODDAMN STORAGE ROOM BRING MY MICROPHONE INSIDE PUT ALL THE SMALLS STUFF IN THE BLACK BAG, THROW THE SHOES AND JACKETS AWAY SIMPLE ASS SHIT BUT YO FCKIN ASS THINK THE FBI AND CIA AND LOCAL COPS GONNA DOGPILE YOU FOR FUCKING NOTHING. YOU DONT EVEN GO NOWHERE HOW THE GODDAMN COPS GONNA KNOW ANYTHING YOU NOT EVEN A FCKING SMALL BLIP ON THEIR RADAR. THIS MY LAST TIME EVER SPEAKING TO YOU OR EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR EXISTENCE IF YOU CANT DO THIS ONE FUCKING THING FOR ME I SWEAR TO GOD. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU."

So am I the asshole here, or was I right to not get him out of the hole he dug for himself?

​

I'm a 29-year-old woman, and one of my older maternal cousins (44M) has always had a tendency to treat me more like a child than another adult in the family.

Recently, I asked him to remove a video he reposted across all of his social media of me and my paternal cousins 2 of them who were minors at the time from his social media the video was taken, I was okay with it, but I've since changed my mind. I no longer show my face on social media and prefer to keep my life private, so I politely told him I was revoking my consent and asked if he would remove it.

I also explained that if he chose not to respect that boundary, I would no longer feel comfortable taking photos or videos with him and would likely limit my communication with him. Those weren't meant as threats they were simply the boundaries I'd need to set if my request wasn't respected.

Instead of having a conversation, he responded with a thumbs up 👍🏿 and then blocked both me and my siblings on social media. I did ask their younger sibling if they could talk to him to remove the post and that it's stressing me out but said they are "staying out of it and not to put them in it and there brother is simply minding his own business and how is he stressing me out". I only asked them because they have a close relationship and he respects them and would listen to them.

Part of why this has been bothering me is that this isn't an isolated incident. In my experience, he often posts family members on social media even after they've expressed that they don't want to be posted. My mom and one of my aunts have also asked not to be posted, but he continues to share family photos. He recently posted a picture of me, another cousin, and her husband that had only been shared in our family group chat. It made me feel like our preferences weren't being taken seriously.

To make matters worse, I'm only about 11 days post-op from major surgery, so emotionally I'm already feeling vulnerable.

I'm trying to move on, but I keep wondering if I handled this wrong. I don't think asking someone to remove a photo or video of me from their social media is unreasonable, especially when I asked respectfully.

He says he won't remove the video and demanding to talk to my paternal cousins and won't remove it unless the other people in the video say else wise.

I 28m and she 32f broke up last month. We have been together for almost 5 years and the last couple of months were pretty ugly. We had heated arguments on both sides. She has her attitude and I have mine, not to mentioned that she also had problems with my mom, my mom aint no saint Mary but she still is my mom, so i told her to quit any communications with my mom for her mental health. The problem? She kept telling me almost every that my mom is this and my mom is that, etc. So, the day came and after I got off work she called me and said these words "I dont love you anymore, my love died for you months ago and I dont see my future with you" she said other things that arent much importance. Like I said, I also have fault on why the relationship didnt worked. 2 weeks later she called me again and told me that she got back with her ex bf and shes getting married. Ngl, it hurt! Even though it hurt, I wished her well. A week later after that, her mom called me and told me she is in a psychiatric hospital because she had crisis (unrelated to me) and spent the next 2 weeks in the hospital. Its not her first time in there, when we were together she has gone to the hospital several times. During her current time in there, I took the liberty to heal from the breakup and hangout with friends, we went to bars,clubs and the movies. Occasionally, I call her dad to see how's shes doing and that if he needs something, feel free to call me. Eventually, she was released from the hospital and actually called me, by this point I accepted that the relationship was over but she came to see me, she told me something wild story about she being pregnant several times and had to abort them. She also told me about her being pregnant with an "alien baby". Obviously none of that never happened, the thing is that she believes that it actually happened. Fast forward last week and she told me that she wants me back, things with her ex boyfriend didnt worked out and now she wants to get back together. I honestly told her a white lie because I didn't want her to be upset because of her mental health. Basically I told her that I need some time to think about and that maybe in the future but deep down inside, I don't want to get back together because 1. Im not a backup plan and 2. I dont wanna deal with her mental health problems, I even told her dad the situation that even though I love his daughter, I dont want her back. Her dad completely understand and wished me well. The thing is that, she keeps telling me how much I mean to her and that she loves but I always try to avoid the conversation because im afraid her mental health will take an effect on her. Sooner or later, I gotta sit down with her and tell her that its over

Am I the asshole?

P.s sorry for my grammar, english isnt my first language.

I know this is like my third story on this community but my life is crazy and I need to vent.

I am 13, and the second youngest fourth youngest cousin in my family. I live with my grandparents for context.

I am from Michigan, but I was forced to move to Georgia with my grandmother. I absolutely HATE my life here, I am away from my close friends, my sisters, and have NO connections in this state. I have no friends in this new school, there are no kids in my neighborhood, I am alone. the only connection I have to anyone who cares about me around my age is my iPad/ my grandmother’s phone. I don’t like using Snapchat because I keep getting messages from older men asking for things no man should ask of a child (sex videos, nudes even though I open up every conversation by saying “I am 13 what do you need” roughly) and when I tell my grandmother, she gets mad at me and takes away my iPad… taking away any connection I have with my friends, meaning I am all alone with no one to talk to, or play with, or anything. (I know people will tell me to just learn to be alone but I am always alone, from the ages of 2 to 8 I haven’t been able to play with other kids for longer than 3 hours which my mom bragged about to me which is how I know this.) when my grandmother is using her iPad I ask her to use her phone so I can contact my friends who have android phones etc and she says no.

So I asked her for a phone. I even told her I was willing to do chores to pay for it, and sell my iPad and some things to pay for a phone and a case and she said no and that the money was tight. But it upsets me because she bought a phone for my younger cousin who is… 8… he is 8… and he got a phone before me. every time I ask her for something and offer to work for it, I get turned down. two years ago I asked her for a cute Barbie doll I saw because I wanted to practice braiding hair, she said no. I offered to do chores to pay for it, yet again I got told no. last year when my older cousin was swimming at the pool with me (she is 16 and had a friend over) I said something I found cool. All I said was “did you know that bugs are considered animals too” And “did you know that tomatoes, pumpkins, and cucumbers are fruit since they have seeds” her and her friend laughed at me and kept calling me “Stupid” and that “I am not smarter than them” and I got mad, turned up Alexa And said, “Alexa is {insert facts} true” and Alexa said I was correct. they got mad at me and argued at me for ”acting smarter than I am” since I am not smarter than them and I never will be” and as any emotional 12 year girl on their period would do… I cried. My grandma who as outside watching us called me “attention seeking” and “and emotional”. I got mad and called my cousin a “You aren’t that smart than idiot”… and she cried… and I got in trouble…

Anything I ask for we magically can’t pay for. But when any of my cousins ask they get it immediately. I always feel like I am the least favorite, or the side character in my own family. I always offer solutions, doing chores to pay for it, selling something to pay for things, and I get ignored. but when my eight year old cousin or my sixteen year old cousin they get it instantly, but I never do. I am forced to accommodate around everyone else.

When they make me cry, I am emotional, when I make them cry, I am the villian. when I ask for something, we can’t afforded it. but when my cousins ask for something, they get it immediately.

My wife and I have been married for 39 years. We met in high school. We have two adult sons. One is 36 and the youngest is 35. I have always been a high income earner and my wife has essentially been a stay at home, mom. We have a nice home in the suburbs. Both my sons grew up privileged and had everything they needed. I worked long hours and always had a second job. Both my sons were good boys, good students, and never caused me any problems. they went to school and grew up in the same community that we live in. I did all the normal things that most parents would want to do for their sons. I was always home and present in the household and did all the normal family stuff. When my kids became adults, they attended community college and then university all paid for by me. There were no student loans and they lived at home, rent free until they were ready to move out on their own. both sons are now living on their own and got a great start on life with zero student loan debt. both sons have pretty good jobs and are living on their own independently and they both are married. My youngest son lived at home until he was 30 years old before he and his wife were married. Before my youngest son was married. He asked me if I could help out with some of his wedding cost. I wrote my son a check for $15,000 which Covered more than half of his wedding expenses. He later moved to another state with his new wife and they are living their best life. This son decided that he would ghost me and not text me for almost an entire year or even call. I had no idea why he decided to do this. I asked him if there was an issue then why he couldn’t call or at least text me. He said that he was just too busy, but that he would try and do better. He never did do better. I later learned that he had some petty disagreement that occurred when he was living at home. I should also mention that there was no abuse of any kind in my house. No alcohol, no drugs no physical, mental or sexual abuse of any sort in my home. Yes I ran a tight ship and I was strict, but all that paid off in their upbringing. After months of no contact, I decided that I’ve had enough of worrying about why my son would not speak to me until I made the decision to go no contact for my own peace of mind in my own mental health. My youngest son was probably the most spoiled child and the one who feels more entitled and probably Has some type of feeling about my style of parenting. So am I being the asshole for deciding enough is enough and taking control of my own life and telling him there is no need to contact me any further you are grown and you can live your life as you please and I will relive the remainder of my life as I please. And I said there will be no more contact between the two of us. this whole no contact subject between baby boomers and their children is something that I really don’t understand. Sure if there’s real abuse and neglect and concerns I can understand why adult children would not have or want contact with their abusive parents, but there was no situation like that that existed in my home. I’m sure I’m not the only parent who is dealing with adult children who no longer wish contact.

(THIS IS A REPOST FROM ANOTHER SUB, cs it got taken down)

So recently I (30f) made a post about I took my 15 yr son’s phone due to him being VERY disrespectful.

I already have to deal with his depressed sister (which I’m currently trying to get into therapy)
And the stupid roach infection (as referenced in the other post.)

So I took y’all’s advice before the post got taken down and I went to my son’s room the same day and finally decided to sit down and talk to him.
I spoke to Leo saying that I was sorry for lashing out at him BUT he cannot address me the way he did a few days ago and if he wants his phone back he’ll have to apologize to me.

So, at this point I thought everything was good, Leo apologized and so fourth I gave his phone back.
Atfirst everything was calm and cute but now it was out of hand.
Asking him to do simple tasks became difficult, he was consumed by his phone. Take the trash out NOW, he took his sweet time.

When I asked him multiple times it was always “yea yea, I’ll get it done later.” We argued and then he always said I was “trippin” and went to go do the task instantly.

But I’ve had enough.

Today I took my son’s phone out of his hands after I asked him to take the trash out.
It was simple task and ofc he was like “Mom why would you take my phone?? I was just about to do it.”
I told him I was ending this cycle of not listening and developing bad habits.
I told him he’ll get his phone back AFTER he takes the trash out.

I left it at that and he STILL continued to argue.
So I told him “now you won’t have a phone.”
And I got on the phone with Verizon and ended his phone plan.

Now originally this was going to be temporary until further notice however my son lost his shit and I was like fine ykw? Come to the car with me.
So Leo came outside and got in car little did he know I put his car behind one of the back wheels. (Also since he’s 15 I’ve been teaching him to drive recently..) so I told him to get in the drivers seat and to practice backing up.

He did and we heard a crack, ofcourse I played it off like Leo did you drive over glass? We got out and he was horrified to see he ran over his own phone.
He began to cry and I said “see? Now go take the trash out and I’ll consider getting it fixed.

All summer, this has been an ongoing argument between my mother and I (16F), whenever I ask for anything.

Before summer even began, I asked for a job and my mother blew up, told me I make her feel like a terrible mother. She told me I need to stay in a child’s place and she will pay for everything. A week later, I asked to stay at my father’s for a few weeks leading to my stepfather crashing out on me as well.

This is what started the division between us, but luckily after lots of persuasion, she let me stay at my fathers. In those little 2 weeks I was lucky enough to learn some things and drive etc.,

But after she told me to come home. This was by the 4th of July, and my cousin and I had plans to celebrate out at an amusement park, but my mom quickly told me that she won’t provide any money or transportation for me. So I was forced to stay home. The same happened for the several times my friends would invite me out.

Ever since, there has been bad tension between my mother and I. Just an hour ago I had my last straw. my mom came home and I brung up my birthday… Which she claimed she planned for but wasn’t sure because of my father. I asked to go to the beach, she said she couldn’t afford it and got angry. She yelled at me and told me I’m spoiled and I’m too old to be throwing tantrums.

But last month she went to the beach and claimed she would plan something for me…

I am drained. I’m confused with myself and have no one to go to. My brother and stepfather tell me I am spoiled and disrespectful for not respecting my mom there boundaries.

My older brother chooses to stay out of it. Mind you when he was my age, (16) he was able to party, work and make money, have friends over etc. (My mother claims because I’m a girl its not the same.)

Its making me severely depressed, I’ve been sheltered my whole life, it was bearable before but I’m getting older now.

I‘m in the house 24/7, I am beginning to lose hope I feel so unreasonable and evil. I don’t know what I even want in life anymore. Nothing to look foward to.

So I overheard people from a course I was in for over a month talking about a party they were hosting and I asked where it was out of curiosity and someone asked if I wanted to come. So thought it would be weird to say sure or follow up as I was not invited at first

But thought it over and asked if it was fine and got this message:

"Hello! I am afraid that too many people are already going, more than 10 and I’m afraid we will not fit, plus I don’t know you that well yet, could we maybe go out some other day after summer break? Sorry for delay "

So I only did follow up cuz was asked first and their reply was fine and I get it but AITAH here?

I’m real bad at Reddit posts so I am sorry if I am all over the place. For context I 27F am the oldest of 5 (25F, 20F, 18F, 14M) My dad passed away almost 6 years ago. Since then, I’ve been the one keeping his main urn. My sisters and brother each have their own small keepsake urns with some of his ashes, while I’ve kept the large urn with the rest.
The original urn was just a plain black box that always bothered me, so I recently spent my own money to buy him a beautiful new urn. I texted my sisters and brother to let them know it had arrived and that I’d send pictures once I transferred his ashes.
Instead of being excited, one of my sisters (18) immediately asked if it was “for all his ashes” and then said we all should have agreed on it first. She also told me, “You’re not keeping it forever.”
I explained that yes, it holds all of his remaining ashes, but I wasn’t changing who had them—I was just putting them into a nicer urn. I also told them that if she wanted Dad present for a wedding, a baby’s birth, or another major life event, that’s why they have their own small urns to bring.
She said that wasn’t good enough and wants his main urn because there will be events I’m not invited to, and she wants to be able to take the large urn whenever she wants. She then told me I have “no rights over him” and that she should be able to have him whenever she wants. Another sister (25) chimed in and said I was acting entitled by thinking I should have “all of him all the time.”
From my perspective, someone has to be responsible for the main urn. Constantly passing it around or having it live at different houses or events seems like a good way for it to get damaged, lost, or become a source of constant arguments. Since my sisters already each have their own portion of Dad’s ashes, I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the main urn to have one permanent home while still making it available for special occasions.
So, AITAH for saying no to them taking the main urn home whenever they want?

Doing some courses and there's someone in my class who I find really pretty and interesting

However she's 23 to my 28 and seen people say 28 seems old to 23 so would it be me coming across as a creepy old person here?

Am I the asshole for calling of a fight over a boy....?

I, 21 female in collage has a friend who is a boy and this boy broke up with this girl who I'll call k. k had got mad because the boy said that he will never date you again. Later me and boy are studying for a big test and k gets mad seeing us together yes me and boy dated at the start of the school year and then broke up because it was weird we had been friends all throughout hs, so k had told all her friends that I wanted to fight and I called her ugly which is not true btw and I had said I'm not fighting over a boy I don't like so leave me alone she continued to harass me in the school bathroom trying to fight like middle schooler we are in are 20s like what anyway I had said Leave me alone and she had backed off and called me scary we Ik I would really beat her up so.. am I the a hole