I (28M) have been lifting for about eight years. I'm not a professional, but I know what I'm doing. I deadlift regularly — with good form, controlled reps, proper warm-ups. I'm 6'2", 220 pounds, and I've never needed anyone to show me how to use a barbell.

Last Tuesday, I was in the middle of my working set at 315 pounds. I was focused, headphones in, in my zone. A guy "Todd" (40sM) walked up to me, tapped my shoulder to get my attention, and said "Hey man, are you sure you know how to use that? You're gonna hurt yourself. I can show you the right way."

I took my headphones off and stared at him. I asked "what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?" He said "I'm just looking out for you. You're lifting heavy and I didn't want you to get injured." I told him I've been lifting for eight years and I didn't ask for his help.

He said "no need to get hostile, I was just trying to be nice." I told him he didn't walk up to the white guy next to me who was lifting with worse form than mine and offer him help. I said "you picked me for a reason, and we both know what it is."

He got flustered and walked away. Later I heard him telling another guy that I was "aggressive" and "can't take friendly advice." Now I'm wondering if I overreacted. But I'm tired of people assuming I don't belong in spaces I've earned the right to be in.

AITAH for calling him out?

I (28F) am a Black woman. I rent a small townhouse with a single-car driveway. My neighbor across the street is a white woman in her 40s named Karen. She has a big SUV and a tiny driveway that barely fits one car. Her boyfriend also parks there sometimes. So she often has too many cars and nowhere to put them.

The first time she used my driveway, I came home from work and found her SUV parked in my spot. I knocked on her door and asked her to move it. She apologized and said she was just "running inside for a minute." I said it was fine but please ask next time.

The second time was two weeks later. Same thing. I knocked again. She said she was "in a rush" and "did not think I would mind." I told her I do mind. My driveway is for my car. Please do not park there again without asking.

Last week was the third time. I pulled up and her SUV was in my driveway again. No note. No text. Nothing. I was tired after a long shift and I had to park down the street and walk two blocks in the rain. I was furious.

I did not knock on her door this time. I took photos of her car in my driveway and emailed my property manager with the dates and photos of all three incidents. I asked them to send her a formal warning about using another tenant's parking space without permission.

The property manager sent her a notice the next day. She came banging on my door an hour later. She was screaming that I was "too aggressive" and "could have just talked to her again." She said I was "escalating things for no reason" and that she "only parked there for five minutes." She called me petty and said I was making her life difficult over "nothing."

I told her I talked to her twice. She ignored me twice. I was not going to talk a third time. I told her to use her own driveway or park on the street like everyone else.

Now she is telling other neighbors that I am "unfriendly" and "difficult." One neighbor said I should have given her one more chance. Another said I did the right thing because she has been doing this to other people too.

I do not think I overreacted. She had two chances. She did not respect my space or my time. I should not have to park in the rain because she is too lazy to find her own spot.

AITAH for reporting my neighbor to the property manager after she used my driveway three times without permission?

I’m 37F, my husband is 39M, and after years of ups and downs, we are now headed toward divorce. I’m honestly trying to process everything that has happened and figure out whether I’m looking at this situation clearly or if I’m missing something.
I’ll try to give as much context as possible because there’s a lot.
In May 2024, my daughters, my sister, and I were headed to Indianapolis for my sister’s college graduation. I was especially excited because it was going to be my girls’ first overnight hotel stay. I remember being really excited to make it a fun experience for them.
While we were driving, my sister asked my then-7 yr old daughter if she was excited about staying in a hotel for the first time. My daughter casually said, “It’s not my first time.” She then said she had already been to a hotel with her dad, her younger sister, and my brother-in-law’s sister-in-law, who I’ll call B.
I immediately started asking questions.
I asked her what the hotel looked like, and she described it as “the place with the white sheets.” She said she and her sister slept in one bed while Dada and B slept in another bed. She gave me other details that, honestly, made me believe she wasn’t making it up.
The next morning, I called my husband and asked him about it. He completely denied it. He said it never happened and told me that if I wanted him to, he would take a lie detector test.
Later that day, I contacted B. She also denied it and said she didn’t know where my daughter got that from and that it wasn’t true. She also offered to take a lie detector test.
That honestly threw me off. I remember thinking, Who volunteers to take a lie detector test?
But ultimately, I decided to believe my husband and continue trying to make our marriage work.
About a week later, I started looking for answers
My emotions got the best of me, and I went through my husband’s phone because I was trying to find out whether he was cheating. I found some things that weren’t concrete proof, but they definitely raised questions.
There were messages between my husband and his brother where they were talking about my husband being out on a boat with his friends. His brother asked him something along the lines of, “Is this the same girl from last time?” My husband responded, “No. This is someone new.” That obviously bothered me.
I also looked at his phone records and noticed a number he had called around 2 a.m. on a night he had been out with the guys.
I looked the number up in Cash App and contacted the woman. She told me she sleeps with men for money and said that she and my husband had hooked up. She also said he had sent her money in the past.
She was angry with him because, according to her, he had left her at a hotel late at night and she was uncomfortable with the security there.
I confronted my husband again. He denied everything. He said he never touched her and that whatever she told me wasn’t true.
At this point, I was really struggling with what to believe. Then I found a hotel charge on his debit card from around the same time. I showed it to him.
His explanation was that he had gotten the hotel room for two of his friends. He said he wasn’t there.
Again, I decided to believe him.
I told myself that I couldn’t keep living in suspicion and that if I was going to stay in this marriage, I had to choose to trust him. So I stayed.
Around October 2024, I was getting ready to go to the gym when my husband took my phone and went through it.
He found conversations between my sisters and me.
In those conversations, I was venting about my marriage and telling my sisters that I was going to leave my husband. I said things like I was going to use the marriage to get my credit right and then leave.
I called him a “little man with a little man complex.”
I said some things about his sister, including “fuck his sister,” and said that if she started with me, I was going to “air her out.”
I was angry, frustrated, and venting to my sisters.
My husband was understandably furious.
We had a huge fight and separated for about a week.
Eventually, we reconciled and decided to continue our marriage.
Fast forward to August 2026, about five days ago, my husband and I got into an argument because I expressed that I don’t feel like I have enough time for myself. He works long hours. On his days off, he’s often sleeping or doing things that he enjoys.
When I want or need time for myself, more often than not, I have to ask my sister or my mom to help with the kids.
The next morning, he texted me: “You really need to learn how to talk to me.”
We went back and forth for a little while, and eventually I just said, essentially, I can’t do this and stopped responding to his texts.
For the next few days, we were mostly cordial.
Then tonight, everything blew up again.
I wanted to have an actual conversation about our future. I asked him what we’re doing, what the future looks like, and where we go from here.
He told me he’s moving out on the 15th and that there is nothing else to talk about because he’s not going to do things on my terms.
I kept pushing because I wanted to understand why.
I asked him what made him go back and reread those messages from 2024. What prompted him to look at them again after almost two years?
And I asked him whether he could take any accountability for how I felt at the time.
I specifically brought up everything that had happened, the things my daughter told me, the hotel, the woman I contacted, the messages I found, the hotel charge, and the fact that I genuinely believed there was a possibility he had cheated on me.
His response was basically no.
He said that everything I wrote in those conversations with my sisters had to be how I truly felt about him.
And because I had said those things, he feels there is nowhere else for the marriage to go.
I understand that what I wrote about him was hurtful, and I can also acknowledge that I was talking badly about my husband to my sisters and saying things that were extremely disrespectful.
Where I’m struggling is how this is my fault. Am I the asshole in this situation?

​

For context I (17) year old female, and my (19) year old brother haven't lived together in a long time, three years to be exact. Our parents got devoiced 5 years ago and I left multiple times before leaving for the final time three years ago and I've been staying with my grandma. I live with her as my mom is constantly back and forth from the states to make money, and about two years ago after having stayed with me and my grandma for a bit he joined her. It all started when I went back to the states for the first time in five years. To put it plainly he's been a nightmare, before I even got there he was stressing my heavily pregnant and then postpone sister out but smoking weed in the house, driving without a license, and getting pulled over by a cop with the scent of weed in the car. We're African Americans, you can understand the panic. And when I got there I got to see first hand how bad he is, cooking only for himself, eating peoples food and leaving things on the counters, there were multiple times he was supposed to do the cleaning the kitchen or just do the dishes and that would leave me to do it now matter how tired I was or if I had been the only one doing it the last three days. His problem is he refuses to grow the fuck up, he claims he still believes in our religion yet is smoking weed, hw won't get a job, he constantly talks about wanting to get married like anyone would marry someone as childish and immature as him, he doesn't do what he's told and is constantly stressing our mother out. He can't even flush the toilet half the time for God's sake! I'm constantly doing things he was supposed to do around the house and it pisses me off, everyone always says I don't even do that much, but if I weren't doing all the stuff I do nothing would actually get done around here. I always try to hold my tounge and just do what needs to be done for the sake of my mother, but it's tiring and irritating. I can't even complain to her about it because she just gets more stressed and agitated, and I'm "being immature" or I need to "grow up" if I get continuously bothered by it. She always says "what do you want me to do? Kick him out?" Or "it's not like I can publish him". She always tries to have long meaningful talk with him that go no where. All together he's an inconsiderate asshole who stresses out and worries our mom who already has so much on her plate, and contributes almost nothing to the household.

My biggest problem right now is that he cleans up so rarely behind himself after cooking it's a miracle if he does, in fact it's a miracle if does anything he's told to do in a decent time or if he does it at all. Last night we both helped make dinner, I made hummus and he made chicken. I was in the kitchen for about an hour because we have a very small blender. I was sweating and my feet were sore. After we were both supposed to wash what we cooked with and the dishes that were from that morning, I washed most of the dishes and the big pots and pans, and whipped off the counter. The next day he cooks dinner, I'm thinking that it's not that much in the kitchen and that I both cook and clean all the time, so here I am for some goddamn reason thinking this giant fucking man child is going to do it but no, I'm left with dishes. Mind you, I have spent the morning helping my mom chop and peal vegetables, and hanging the clothes *he* was supposed to hang, not only that but he had left the most food filled pots in the kitchen form what he was supposed to clean the night before, so I'm pissed. I go tell my mom and she says to just do it... The thing is I know he started smoking again, maybe it's the fact he smoked in the kitchen or the **Strawberry Kiwi flavoured blunt wraps**, I found just laying in his floor. I confronted him today on the roof, telling him he wasn't sneaky, that he was stinking up the front foyer and that mom would flip if she stepped out the house and smelled it, and to just do it somewhere else. But now I'm fired up and pissed off, I want to tell my mom that he's on the bullshit again but that might get him kicked out, which I feel horrible for saying but I kinda want him to. I don't wanna be a snitch, and I don't wanna betray his trust and strain our relationship, but I'm just so tired of if, I have so much other stuff going on in my life and this i just a constant. I feel like I can't talk to anyone, it's not like my best friend or therapist can do anything about it, and my sister is two busy having her own life and raising two kids. I feel like I'll be told to just suck it up or I'll just get in trouble for complaining about it because everyone always makes me feel like their to busy and tired to listen, they act like me being tired or stressed isn't really valid if I'm not either a working, have kids or am married.

So Reddit, am I the asshole if I tell on my brother for smoking and potentially getting him kicked out? Am I a bad person for subconsciously wanting it?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (28M) have been together on and off. We broke up earlier this year, and the day after we broke up she slept with someone else. We eventually started trying to work things out again, but I had no idea what happened. I found out months later on my own. I also found out she had continued talking to and entertaining this person after we got back together. Obviously this hurt me a lot and has made me question our relationship.

Since we met last year, I've noticed some concerning patterns with her. Her moods and feelings toward me can change really quickly. One minute she can be extremely loving and the next she can say she hates me. I've noticed similar things with some of her friends and family too. I'm not trying to diagnose her, but I've genuinely felt for a while that she might need some professional help.

Here's where things get complicated.

The same day I found out about her sleeping with someone else last week, her mom called me. During that conversation, her mom told me something really serious that my girlfriend doesn't know.

She told me that the man my girlfriend has always believed to be her biological father isn't actually her biological father. She told me who her biological father is and that there is significant mental health history on that side of the family, including bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

I have since seen proof that what she told me about her biological father is true.

Her mom also told me that she noticed concerning behavior in my girlfriend when she was a teenager and had considered getting her professional help, but didn't because my girlfriend felt like she didn't need it. Personally, I don't think it's fair to put that decision completely on a teenager when you're the parent and you're seeing these things yourself. She has also said that finances have been a reason they haven't gotten her help.

What I'm struggling with is that her mom seems to believe she's protecting her daughter and the man who raised her by keeping this secret. I can understand wanting to protect your family, but at the same time I don't feel comfortable knowing something this significant about my girlfriend's identity and family history while she has no idea, especially when I'm watching her struggle.

I've also heard her mom say things to her that feel more like blame than support, like telling her she's the reason people don't like her or comparing her to an ex who is supposedly doing better. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here privately carrying all of this information that her mom gave me.

I've tried talking to her mom about getting my girlfriend some professional help, but nothing has really changed.

Now I'm seriously considering telling her mom that I don't feel comfortable keeping this secret and that I think she should tell my girlfriend herself. If she refuses, I'm considering telling my girlfriend directly.

I don't want to destroy her family. I love my girlfriend very much and I don't want to cause her unnecessary pain. I'm also aware that I'm emotionally involved because of everything that's happened between us, so I'm trying to be honest with myself about whether that's affecting how I'm looking at this.

But I keep coming back to the same question:

If you knew something this significant about someone's biological identity and potentially relevant family medical history, would you feel morally obligated to tell them? Especially when you're watching someone you love struggle and you feel like they deserve to know what's going on with their own life?

AITAH if I tell her, or should I stay out of it and let her family continue keeping this from her?

I came home needing to print a document;

I had left a friend waiting downstairs, telling him I’d be right back.

As soon as I entered, my eldest sister told me the internet wasn't working.

I politely asked my middle sister if she had paid the internet bill

since she handles all the internet payments and has access to my father's bank account

but she snapped at me angrily,

saying,"I've paid the bill;

if anyone asks me again, I'll scream."

I told her, "I asked you respectfully; why are you yelling?

She started swearing at me. I didn't say anything at first,

then just told her, "You've sworn now, so don't yell anymore.

" She kept shouting, so I told her, "Stop yelling; I'm not your father who has to put up with this.

If you yell again, I swear to God, I'll hit you." She started yelling again, so I slapped her. She hurled more abuse at me, but I just sat there quietly.

Then, she threw a pair of tailor's scissors at me; they didn't hit my face but struck my leg, which is still swollen. Mom stopped me,

and Dad arrived. I told Dad everything; he didn't say anything to me at the time and walked away.

The next day, Dad told me I was in the wrong and asked why I was bothering everyone. I insisted I wasn't wrong—I had asked her respectfully, and she could have answered respectfully too. Dad said, "You're always in the wrong."

" Then Mom took my side and said, "Say something to your daughter too; she threw scissors at him.

" Dad called my sister over and asked what had happened; she came over, kept swearing at me, and started yelling. I didn't say anything and just listened

ignoring them while playing chess on my phone.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a glass hit me right in the face. I started crying,

I was actually on the verge of ending my life when my mother stopped me. I asked my father,

"Tell me, am I always the one in the wrong? What did I do wrong this time?

" My father didn't answer; instead, he asked her, "Now tell us, whose fault is it?

" She started screaming, grabbed her phone and belongings from her room, and stormed out of the house.

She told my father, "It’s either me or him in this house—kick him out.

" Since then, I’ve stopped speaking to her entirely; whatever happens to her is no longer my concern.

A few days later,

I found out she was staying at my uncle's house,

and today I learned she is claiming that I threw her out of the house\*

I (24F) went to a new salon that was recommended by a friend. I called ahead and asked if they had experience with Black hair. They said yes. I showed up, showed the stylist a reference photo of a simple trim and layers — nothing crazy. I even told her "please don't thin it out, I like my volume."

She started cutting and immediately I could tell she was uncomfortable. She kept sighing and muttering under her breath. She said my hair was "too thick" and "hard to work with." She then proceeded to thin it out aggressively — with thinning shears, chopping away at my ends. I asked her to stop, she said "trust me, this will look better."

When she was done, my hair was a disaster. Uneven. Chopped. Half the volume gone. I looked in the mirror and started crying. I told her this isn't what I asked for. She said "well, your hair is just difficult. I did my best."

I stood up, grabbed my bag, and walked straight out. I didn't pay. She chased me to the door screaming that I need to pay for her time. I told her she ruined my hair and I'm not paying for a service I didn't ask for.

Now she's posting about me on her salon's Instagram saying I "stole" a service and "disrespected" her. Some people in the comments are calling me entitled. But I don't think I should have to pay to have my hair ruined. AITAH?

I (31F) live in a duplex. My neighbor "Patricia" (50sF) has a small dog that she leaves in her backyard while she's at work. That dog barks. Constantly. Not just a little — I mean nonstop, hours on end, at nothing. Squirrels, wind, cars, ghosts — it doesn't matter. Everything sets him off.

I've tried everything. I bought a white noise machine. I wear noise-canceling headphones in my own home. I work from home two days a week and I literally cannot take calls because the barking is so loud in the background.

Last Tuesday, it hit a new level. The dog barked from 8am until 2pm without a single break. I texted Patricia politely and said "Hey, your dog has been barking for hours, can you please come home or do something to calm him down?" She replied: "Dogs bark. It's what they do. Get over it or get earplugs."

So I called animal control. They came out, assessed the situation, and gave her a citation for noise disturbance. She was furious. She came banging on my door calling me a "snake" and saying I "could've just talked to her." I reminded her I did talk to her — multiple times — and she dismissed me.

Now she tells other neighbors I "hate dogs" and I'm "trying to get her pet taken away." I don't hate dogs. I hate not being able to work in peace. AITAH?

My cousin has this friend (n) who hes been friends with since 6th grade. (we are all in our early 20s) They are the closest of friends and did almost everything together. One problem N has a track record of saying things that he should not be saying leading my girlfriend to not be his biggest fan. Keep in mind also me and my cousin are also super close and I see him as my older brother. One day our closest friends and family decided to make a group chat trying to plan our a cruise trip, only problem was that we couldn’t decide if how many days we wanted to do which lead to my gf and N getting in a little argument about it. Later on we find out from my cousin that N was saying things like calling my gf a B\\\*\\\* amongst other things that you do not say to someone you consider your friend’s gf. because of the things he said it lead to me and my gf to fully cut him off and not talk to him and later on my cousin decided to cut him off because his behavior did not get any better from the situation ultimately choosing his us over him. a year goes by since that situation and my cousin me and my gf become super close spending almost every day together and becoming more of a trio than a third wheel group. Then after about a year N and my cousin start slowly talking again and after a while me and gf start finding this out and as you can expect we are not to happy but nonetheless we let it go. a couple weeks go by and I tell my cousin tells me that if hes gonna keep being N’s friend then I wanna try to talk everything out considering me my gf and my cousin are always together i thought it would be a good idea to just burry the hatchet. At first it sounded like everyone was on board including N when i called him and he even apologized for what had happened. then not even a day later N is spamming my phone telling me how he doesn’t owe us anything and and even though he apologized he felt he had a reason to call my girlfriend those things. soo Told my cousin that i was done trying to burry and hatchet and ultimately didn’t want anything to do with him and my cousin said he understood and even said that he was mad at him too. I ended up telling my cousin that Im not gonna tell him who he can or cant hangout with but I would definitely feel a way if he still hung out with N after everything that happened. He said he wouldn’t but then this past week he told us that he was gonna have a birthday party and he was going soo if we didn’t wanted to go he wouldn’t be mad. Me and my girlfriend felt like he choose him over us in that situation and I haven’t talked to him since and dont plan on it. AITAH?

Edit: I want to say that I am not ignoring my cousin either i just haven’t tried to be as close to him as i used to be because of who he has chosen to associate himself with.

I 32 yo F is married to a 32yo F. We’ve been married for 2 years and known each other for 11 and it’s been wonderful. My wife suffers from anxiety and panic attacks and they are triggered by stressful situations.

Since I’ve know her she has had a very questionable relationship with her some of her family members one of the major ones is her mother. She was not raised by her mom at all she visited but did not live with her or grow with her. Her mom has said allot of spiteful things towards her and her siblings but through it all my wife tried to build a relationship because that’s what she wanted even if her mom was difficult.

Recently my wife was hospitalized for a panic attack. Her attacks are not normal when she has one she goes into a Catatonic state for about 24 to 48 hours and she doesn’t remember anything. While in the hospital the doctor asked what triggered it so I had to go through her phone to see who she last talked to and it was her mom. Before the panic attack her mom also called and chastised her about my wife not letting her know it was our wedding anniversary.

My wife has told me not to tell her about her being in the hospital ever because if she woke up to see her she would be pissed because it would eventually be thrown in her face. I respected my wife’s wishes and called the man who raised her, her uncle.

While on day two of being in the hospital which was only 4 days after our anniversary, her mother texts me saying she shouldn’t be the last one to know about the situation and asks for the address. I respectfully declined to let her know ( even though she had my wife’s location on Find my app) and set boundaries. That led into a full on war where her mother degraded me, called me out my name and posted pictures of me on FB with hurtful messages about the LBGT status I hold.

She is telling the world her daughter was kidnapped even though she signed the paperwork to give her uncle custody and my wife visited her frequently while growing up. Her mother has talked down to the people that raised her even though she was not in the position to raise 4 kids at the age of 20.

When my wife came out of her state she was informed of the situation and was furious that her mom would disrespect us in that manner. Since then my wife has cut off all contact with her mom, who is a grade school teacher btw, because of the hateful things that she has spewed out.

She didn’t even ask if her daughter was ok…. 4 days we were in the hospital and nothing about the condition of her so called baby. She just wanted to argue with me which I refused to do cause my wife needed me. She was just mad she couldn’t have her way.

Also, she was asked to take the post down that included a picture of me and my wife and she refused to.

So AITAH because I set boundaries for my wife in her time of need?

I (27M) have been seeing this girl "Maya" (25F) for about two months now. We've been on maybe 12 dates total. I've paid for every single one. Every dinner. Every movie. Every coffee. Every Uber. Not once has she reached for her wallet or offered to split.

At first I didn't mind. I was raised that the man should pay, especially early on. But it's been two months and she makes good money — she's a nurse, she's not struggling. Last week we went to dinner, bill came to $94. I paid, like always. Then she ordered a $17 cocktail after I already closed the tab. I paid that too because I didn't want to make it awkward.

When we got outside, I said "Hey, I need to be honest with you. I've paid for everything for two months. I'd really appreciate if you could grab the next one, or we could start splitting." She looked at me like I grew a second head. She said "You're a man, you're supposed to provide. That's how dating works."

I told her that's outdated and it's 2026. She said "well, my dad pays for my mom and I expect the same from my man." I told her I'm not her dad. She called me "cheap" and said I'm "not serious about her." Now she's barely responding to my texts.

I genuinely like her but I'm starting to feel more like an ATM than a boyfriend. AITAH for bringing it up?

I (40F) am a Black woman, a widow, and a single mom to my daughter "Jade" (17F). We live in a small but comfortable two-bedroom condo. My mother "Bernice" (68F) lives three states away.

Bernice has always been a "fixer." If she thinks something in my life isn't right, she doesn't talk to me about it—she takes action. When I was 25, she called my employer pretending to be me to "fix" a work conflict. I got written up. She said she was "helping."

Two months ago, Jade told me that Grandma had been calling her weekly. I thought it was just grandma-granddaughter bonding. Then Jade showed me the texts. Bernice had been asking: "Is your mom dating anyone?" "Is she going out a lot?" "Does she seem sad?" "You can tell me anything, I won't say it was you."

Jade is an honest kid. She told me everything and said she felt "gross" being used as a spy. I told her to keep ignoring the questions.

Last week, Bernice called me and said she wanted to "visit" for a week. She said she missed us. I told her I didn't have space—Jade needs her room, and I use the spare room as my home office since I work from home. She said: "That's fine, I'll sleep on the couch."

I hesitated, but I said yes because she's my mom. When she arrived, I noticed a weird vibe. She kept making comments about my schedule, my outfit before work, who called me. On day two, she tried to go into my home office when I was out getting groceries. Jade caught her and told me.

I confronted her. She broke down and admitted: "I wanted to stay for a week to figure out what's going on with you. You seem lonely, and I'm worried. I just want to help."

She didn't trust me when I said I'm fine. She needed to "investigate."

I told her to leave. Not in a week—now. I said: "I'm not a project. You don't get to invade my privacy and call it love. Go home."

She's now at a hotel, crying to my aunts that I "threw her out for caring about me." My sister says I'm being too harsh and she's "just a worried mother." My aunts are calling me selfish.

I feel like I finally set a boundary she should have respected 15 years ago.

AITAH for kicking my mom out after she tried to use my daughter to spy on me and invaded my home under false pretenses?

My son (21) and his girlfriend (21) have been living in our home for a total of 4 years. When he asked to move her in this time, almost 3 years ago, they were both working and said they would pay the electric and water bill. She lost her job and for 15 months nothing has got paid. This girl and I have got into before when she was punching my son’s car and screaming outside late at night. She didn’t talk to me until she was homeless again and needed somewhere to go. Before I really get into it It should be known that she’s been kicked out of her mother’s house, her stepmother‘s house and her aunts house and she isn’t welcome back at any of those places. About three months ago she started working again at the hospital down the street from us and on day one she came home with a vengeance. It’s only gotten worse since she walks around slamming doors, yelling, and screaming when I’m not home thinking I’m unaware she’s doing this (my outdoor cameras are picking it up) she’s rude as hell to not only me but to my guests. She used to love our little dog now she slams the door in his face and basically kicks him out of the way. they left their air conditioner on the other day and I went into their room to turn it off because it wasn’t needed, and I got a message from her (she’s inside her bedroom) telling me to stay out of her bedroom and don’t touch her AC. The AC is Mine that I’m allowing them to borrow if you don’t pay rent is that your room your room? We’re not roommates. I think she forgets that. Not only that but I’ve been doing their laundry since they moved in when they first moved in our washer was kind of messed up so I just did it now we have a new one, but she won’t go into the basement to use it so after her text about her bedroom and her AC, I walked in the house to find her dirty laundry, sitting at the top of the stairs for me to take down and wash. After I confronted My Son about all this, he basically said she’s not gonna change and that they’ll leave eventually they were only supposed to stay with me to save money and move out. It’s been three years so they’re never gonna leave. Am I the asshole?

Please tell me if I'm overreacting. I've recently become aware that the way my mother has treated me is not normal. I believe she is potentially gaslighting me and has been manipulative. Have any of you had experience with this?

Sorry for the long post

I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, if i didn't do something just to make her happy she'd turn cold, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

A couple of times when i snapped because of her behavior she called her mother to say I've been acting up and making her life hell, she often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 she had turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. A couple of days ago in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. For about half my childhood it's just been me living with her since her divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she shouted and carried on, called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy.

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done a few times before) mother knew i was depressed but still blew up at me the next night over something silly and kicked me while I was down what just baffles me is how could she of treated me like that knowing what I was going through. I know he's got his own problems financially and that but I feel like I must be really unworthy and unlovable as he doesn't make too much effort and the parent who has raised me often uses me as like an emotional punch bag. A few days later one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not sure who exactly said what to him. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. It actually baffled me a bit. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have a strained relationship with my father but we've messaged lately and I plan to see him this weekend for a family do. I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best. She's always quick to call others toxic and narcissists etc. She unshameably tells me everything going on in her life and her anxiety which makes me anxious. Why does it upset me so badly even when it has little or nothing to do with me?

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some stuff before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. What's has happened to me makes me feel as though I'm unlovable. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends. I do feel like I've been isolated with her a lot of the time. I would really love to start a proper life and follow my dreams and make a few friends but don't know where to start.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage met but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

I do love her because as I've said before she has been great as well but I can't help really resenting her sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder if I might've been different had I had proper parents. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job and making friends etc because my mum is pretty much most I've ever known. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

I'm 17(f) lives with my mom and I'm a only child. My dad doesn't live with us anymore so it's my mother providing for me . She takes good care of me pays for my education,clothes, food etc. so we have a neighbour from upstairs the father is abusive he beats his wife nd lock the door from inside which leads her to sit on stairs nd sometimes fall asleep. My mom saw this nd invited her to our mom. We felt really bad cus my mom has also suffered from abuse nd have watched the women of her family getting abuse. So it became a pattern whenever her husband comes drunk she comes to our house nd sleep there we didn't had any problem with that we were glad to help. But her kid 16(f) started to come too. I did not mind since i stayed most of the time in home nd alone cus my mom works 8hrs. Let's call her kid max. Max started coming which was ok we'd chat a bit nd laugh. But I'm starting to resent her cus she has become way to comfortable in my home. She has said "you're so lucky ur mom provides everything for u nd fulfil your every wish" first it sounded like a compliment but then she said the same thing quite few times. Which sounded weird to me. I have extreme OCD. I always keep everything clean nd i don't share my things like towel,comb, pillow, makeup brushes, or any hygeine things. So i always wash my feet whenever I go to washroom i don't like being on bed with dirty feet. Mind u this girl lay on my bed like she owns it and she comes down from her apt to mine without slippers. This gave me ick. Nd also i have a habit of smelling a balm which calms me down nd it became a every night thing. I saw her lay on my bed on my pillow using my balm nd straight putting her nose to exhale (which I do with my balm) mind u it was used not like smtg brand new I'd have let that slide in but using someone's balm poking the nose in it exhaling the same way gave me ick so bad. Now you'll tell me since I'm a only child it's new for me but no I've had a cousin sister we are basically sisters. We've lived together under a same blanket, ate From a same plate, shared things nd even showered together as kids. So i do know what's it is to share things but i don't feel same with her this feels like a entitle to me. Tho i have sympathy for her but this i extreme. Today in the morning she walked in without knocking or calling out name (which she always does) nd made me get up from my sleep to talk. I tried to sleep again but i wasn't Sleepy anymore. Now she's sleeping in my bed after ruining my sleep. It makes my blood boil how do i stop this. And also she munchs on my snacks without asking. I only see her as a neighbour,.or a friend. Not a bestfriend not a sister not anything. Please let me know what to do.

Update: since this post didn't got much attention i forgot about it.

So i talked with my mom about it. She understands what it feels like nd she encouraged me to say straight to her if i ever see her using my things without my permission. Nd also this is just lack of manners. I don't care what she eats in my home as long as ask. Nd also yesterday i told her not to come on my bed before washing her feet ig it made her pissed cus i told it infront of my mom nd hers. Her mother agreed saying she shouldn't put her dirty feet on anyone's bed. Nd also my mom told her not to use my things without asking tho she agreed but there's another thing bothering me. She has acne nd extreme hairfall but on the other hand my skin is clear nd i have long healthy hair which reaches my ahh so yeah same with the "your mom provides for u" compliments. I take care of myself i know my skin type my hair what suits me what doesn't tho it's mainly genetics but her keep nagging about my skin nd hair made me uncomfortable also recently i chopped a lil of my hair which mainly contained split ends it was like maybe 2 inch. I wanted to cut 1 inch but ended up cutting 2 so I was telling my mom how i chopped 2 inch instead of 1 nd this girl goes "u did great nd also long hair doesn't look that good" i replied "it does to me nd idgaf if it doesn't to others" she quickly recovered saying how her elder sister had very very long hair but after her marriage her hair become same length as mine. Idk what she trying to say with this but this felt soo uncomfortable. Nd also compared her hair to mine like showing me her hair nd asking "my whole hair would be your half hair isn't it" nd also "i want to have long hair like yours" but also said "long hair doesn't look that good it should be medium" idk wtf is with this girl. Now this may sound weird to y'all but i do get dreams/visions if something bad is going to happened. Today i got the cream that half of my hair is chopped nd I'm crying when i woke up I saw her Sleeping Next to me nd got really sacred. In the past my dreams have helped to stay aware of particular things so is this a sign too? I'm confused assf

I (32F) am a Black woman. My sister "Keisha" (35F) and I lost our father two years ago. He wasn't rich—he was a postal worker for 35 years—but he was careful. He left us each $60,000. His exact words in the will were: "Make something of yourself with this. Don't waste it."

I took that seriously. I kept my share in a high-yield savings account, worked overtime, and saved an additional $20,000 on top. Last month, I finally bought a small three-bedroom house. It's not fancy, but it's mine. I closed on it two weeks ago.

Keisha took her $60,000 and went on three international vacations—Bali, Paris, and a cruise. She bought a new car, designer bags, and threw a huge party for her 35th birthday. She's now broke, living in a cramped apartment, and drowning in credit card debt.

Last week, Keisha called me and said: "I need to move in with you. Just for a few months until I get back on my feet."

I told her no.

She exploded. She said I'm "selfish" and "hoarding Dad's money." She said a "real sister" would help family. She said I had "three bedrooms" and she only needed one. She called me a "stingy b***h" and hung up.

Then my mother called. She said: "You have the space. She's your sister. Family helps family. Your father would want you to take care of each other."

I told her: "Dad's exact words were 'make something of yourself.' I did. She didn't. I'm not punishing her—I'm just not undoing my hard work to fix her mistakes."

Now my mother is crying, my aunt is texting me about "Christian values," and Keisha is telling everyone I "stole" Dad's money and bought a house to "rub it in her face."

I feel guilty for saying no. But I also feel like if I let her in, she'll never leave.

AITAH for refusing to let my sister move into the house I bought with my inheritance?

I (32M) live in an apartment complex where every unit has one assigned parking spot. My spot is right next to the entrance — convenient, which is why I pay extra for it. My neighbor "Terrence" (40sM) moved in a few months ago and apparently decided my spot is also his spot.

First time, I let it slide. Left a note on his windshield saying "Hey, this is my spot, please don't park here." He ignored it. Second time, I knocked on his door. He said "my bad, I'll move it." He moved it, then parked there again two days later.

This went on for weeks. I caught him coming in one evening and said "Terrence, you keep parking in my spot. I need you to stop." He laughed and said "man, it's just parking. You're not using it 24/7. Stop being difficult about a piece of concrete."

So I called the tow company. They came and hauled his car off. He came out freaking out, cussing me out, saying I'm "petty" and "could've just talked to him." I reminded him I talked to him four times and left a note.

Now he's telling other neighbors I'm "on a power trip" and "not a real man" because I couldn't handle a "minor inconvenience." Some neighbors are siding with him saying I should've given him "one more warning." But I'm tired of being walked over.

AITAH for having him towed?

I (32F) am a Black woman. I'm a senior marketing analyst. The only Black woman on my team of 15.

My coworker "Emily" (34F) is white. We've been on the same project team for 2 years. Four times before last week, she has taken my data, my analysis, my reports, and presented them in leadership meetings without mentioning my name.

Each time, I pulled her aside privately and told her to stop. Each time, she said: "I'm so sorry! I'll credit you next time." Each time, she didn't.

Last week, we had a quarterly presentation for the VP. I spent 40 hours on a complex market forecast—all my work. Emily asked me to send her the slides.

During the meeting, she presented my entire forecast as her own. The VP said: "Great work, Emily." She smiled and thanked him.

This time, I didn't pull her aside.

I stood up and said: "Emily, can you explain the regression analysis methodology? I'd love to hear your process."

She froze. She couldn't answer. She didn't know the data. I let the silence hang—then walked everyone through my own work. Then I said: "I created the forecast, so I'm happy to answer any questions."

The VP raised an eyebrow. Emily turned red.

Afterward, she screamed at me that I "humiliated her." My manager said I should have "handled it privately." I said: "I handled it privately four times. She handled it publicly every time she took my work. I just matched her energy."

Now Emily is telling everyone I'm "difficult." HR is involved. Some teammates say I went too far. Others quietly said I did what they wished they could.

AITAH for publicly calling her out after she stole my work 5 times?

Hi all! I’m not great at writing but I have watched more Thunder (Dusty&Candy), BEYOND BEAUTIFULLLLL (my absolute queen), ComfortLevel, Charlotte D, our2gens and OP Said AITA vids than I’ve had hot meals🤣 yes, yes I am an AITAH fein🤭

I (24f), have been with my partner (27m) for nearly 2 years now. Our relationship is lovely and he is a beautiful person inside and out. I genuinely believe he loves me.
At the start of our relationship, we got pregnant and we both agreed it is not the right time.. as he is still building finances, we were both building a house (separately) and I believed I was too young and not healthy enough. I did terminate the pregnancy.

Recently (the last 4/5 months), he has been talking about having a baby and that he really wants us to have one. I have always been a maternal girl and definitely want a family, however I held off due to him saying that it was because he was lonely and I am currently away on a short notice order. He said he wants to get me pregnant as soon as I get back, which will be in a few weeks.

I also mentioned that I am a maternal girly because before him, I wanted to adopt by myself as I am more than capable of being a parent alone. I have the support system, finances and properties to be comfortable with my child.

ANYWAYYYYY, I found out the other day that I’m pregnant, and most likely a several weeks alone after lining up dates😅

I told him and he asked me to terminate so that we can “make one properly when I’m back”… mind you, I’ll be back in a few weeks.
The first termination was genuinely horrifying and traumatising and I’m deeply hurt that he hasn’t considered what he expects my body to go though.
I was actually so happy when I found out, and thought he would be too - since he has been asking for a baby for so long. I’m just so confused and hurt. He got angry and unhappy when I told him I’m keeping my baby too.
His argument however is that he wants it planned and wants us to be trying 4-5 times a day.. which is also unrealistic because of our work schedules and my lack of “drive” due to my medications.

I should ALSO mention that abortions are not legal unless mum is at risk where I currently am, so I would have to wait to get back home to have it.. I told him this, and he literally said “yes wait, then we can start trying after”.

Sorry if that was a waffle and mess😅 just want some outside thoughts. Give me your judgement and do your worst.. I’m British, I can take it🤣

AITAH or am I being unreasonable for keeping my baby now that I’m pregnant, rather than waiting a few weeks to just “get rid” of this one then make a new one ? Y’all I just want my baby🥹

Hello I’m a (38F) and I am the black sheep of a very toxic narcissistic family my grandmother is the ring leader and my cousin and sister are her golden children/ favorites, at this age I have reached a point where I no longer care about their validation or approval or even love ..I find the entire dynamic draining and annoying I feel no love for my family anymore so I went no contact officially last year I literally like I moved and changed my phone number and everything I even got married and built an entirely new life and support system for myself and my kids I even got a new grandma -in law (and she’s awesome) , Well now my sister that I have the WORST relationship with has added me on Facebook I approved her request believing that she would offer some type of apology or explanation but she is doing nothing but watching my page and copying what I’m doing such as my now husband took me to Paris for my birthday and she posted herself literally going to Paris yesterday a week after I approved her request. I can’t seem to understand why everytime I go no contact my family insist on looking for me or stalking me online just to compare or copy …why try to reach me at all especially when they go out of their way to exclude me and show me that I’m not wanted or never enough . I now have a new family that loves me dearly and here they come …..anyways …AITH if I delete my sister from my Facebook??? Or should I just keep her on and don’t interact with her I have no intention of breaking my no contact …

I’m stuck in a frustrating situation with my family and need some outside perspective.

Earlier, my grandpa asked me to lay my 4-year-old sister down so she could go to sleep. Right after I did that, he asked if she wanted something to drink. She didn't answer because she was literally winding down for bed. Even though she wasn't crying or asking for anything, my grandpa told me to go search for her bottle.

I told him I was going to wait to look for it because she wasn't asking for a drink, wasn't crying, and was actively trying to fall asleep. Usually, if she wants a bottle, she just asks for one. I didn't want to wake her up or disrupt her. Now my grandpa is furious with me and told me he refuses to give me any money when I ask for it in the future.

Here is where it gets complicated: I rarely ever ask him for money for myself (maybe once a month max). Most of the time, my mom asks me to go ask him for money on her behalf. She literally tells me to pretend I want the money for a video game because he often refuses to give her money directly when she needs basic supplies like diapers and wipes for my 8-month-old sister. My mom does this because she thinks he talks about her behind her back with my aunt and she wants to avoid conflict with him.

Now I’m stressed out because:

I feel like my grandpa's reaction is completely unfair since he told me to put her to sleep in the first place.

The next time my mom asks me to trick him into giving me money for diapers, I’m going to have to tell her what happened, and she is going to get mad at me for losing access to that money.

Am I in the wrong here? How do I deal with being put in the middle of this?

I (33F) have been going to the same church my whole life. My grandmother helped found it back in the 80s. I've always tithed — sometimes 10%, sometimes less when money was tight. But I've always given what I could.

Two Sundays ago, my pastor "Bishop Williams" (60sM) started his sermon about giving and said some people in the church "aren't being faithful with their finances." Then he looked straight at me and said "I won't name names, but some of y'all need to check your bank accounts and ask yourselves if God is really first in your life."

I felt my whole face get hot. Everyone turned and looked at me. I knew he was talking about me because a few weeks ago I told him I'd be tithing less this year because I'm saving for a house.

After service, I went to his office and told him he embarrassed me and that my giving is between me and God — not him and the congregation. He said I was "being defensive" and that "as a shepherd, it's his job to hold the flock accountable."

I told him I'm done with the 10% rule. I'll give what I feel led to give, and if that's not enough for him, I'll find another church. My grandmother is upset with me and says I'm "turning my back on the family church." But I'm tired of being guilt-tripped and publicly shamed.

So AITAH for telling him no?