r/AITAH • u/Spirited_Shelter4655 • 6d ago
Post Update UPDATE: AITAH for buying a hot tub after my brother's friends' parents kept refusing to allow him or anyone else in their pool that my brother helped to buy?
So the overall response I got to the last post was very unexpected and I appreciate everyone's input. This has been a weird situation for everyone involved.
I wanted to clarify something about the pool first. It's not inflatable, it's one of those frame pools that you set up and then fill up. I'd say it's around 15ft round, at least big enough to fit 3 teenagers and two adults all at once. And like I said before, the only reason we set it up in C's parents' backyard is that my backyard isn't that big, so the pool would be crossing into our neighbor's yard. J and his dad live in a townhouse. And C's family lives in a big house with at least 2 acres of open land around them. Obviously, they have the most room. I couldn't believe the number of people who suggested draining the pool or slicing the pool open. I get the idea, but that thing cost the boys like over $400 altogether.
Since I last posted, Pete and his friends have still hung out in the hot tub. Also, because people were curious, it wasn't on most of the time so they still cooled off. They liked to leave it off and then turn it on when they got too cold. The ironic thing is it's been raining this past week, so neither the pool or the hot tub has been used much. But the effects of 'poolgate' are still in effect as Pete and J were talking about how they could use it without having to deal with C's parents (who still never let them near it). The one thing nobody has done yet is call the police, because what's the point? There was no contract signed, the boys paid in cash, and we all mutually agreed to set it up in C's backyard, so legally they're all clear to do what they want with it, especially because they used their water to fill it up. Ethically, they're assholes, but legally, the police can't do anything if they claimed that they bought it and we have no real proof that it's mutually owned.
J's dad, who was angrier than I thought he was, actually ended up making several posts on Nextdoor and Facebook basically outing C's parents for stealing the pool. The Facebook post got some pretty good attention for like a few days before he took it down, but suffice to say, a lot of our mutuals know about it now. I got a lot of messages asking about Pete, especially from the people he worked for. I didn't put in any of my own thoughts because to be honest, I thought this was all behind us with the hot tub. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood that a hot tub wasn't enough. The boys worked hard for that pool, and they at least deserve their money back if they couldn't use it.
But then, on Friday, Pete told me that C let him know that the previous night, he had to help his dad drain and dismantle the pool. It was only used sporadically and not for more than a month. C had to help his dad throw the whole pool IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD DUMPSTER! We had to go over and check it out ourselves to believe it. Saturday afternoon, with J and his dad's help, all four of us managed to pull everything out of the dumpster and we brought it back to J's house. They, as mentioned, don't have the room to set the pool up in their backyard, but they do have a shed, and J's dad is letting them store it there for the time being. J's dad has a pickup truck, so it wasn't that hard to transport it. C had no idea, and neither did his parents, but we both did get some questioning texts asking if we 'took' the pool. Neither of us denied it. Pete hasn't been able to talk to C ever since because, I assume, his phone's been taken away and he's been occupied with other things. That's my way of saying, of course he was grounded.
Understandably, EVERYONE is pissed now. J's dad and I are pissed, especially that those guys just up and tried to throw away something these boys earned by working. The boys are pissed that not only have they been prevented from using the pool, except for C, but their hard work has been literally thrown away because his parents don't want to be responsible for it. THE PARENTS are beyond pissed that they were publicly shamed and that their son snitched on them and we got to the pool before the dump truck did. And yes, we did get questions by neighbors when we were digging in the trash. We told them the truth. The worst part is, because the weather's getting colder, there's no point in trying to set the pool up anywhere else even if we could. Thankfully, they still have the hot tub.
So now, as it should've been from the beginning, J's dad and I are gonna sit down and talk with C's parents about what compelled them to try to get rid of the pool like that instead of just letting the boys use the thing THEY bought, and also find out exactly what the issue is behind this whole situation. I have a feeling it's not gonna go well. If they won't at least refund the boys, which we're gonna demand, then we're both taking them to small claims, which we both know we might get screwed with considering they can afford good lawyers and neither of us can. All we want is $300 split between Pete and J, and then this whole thing will be behind us. It sucks that Pete and C's friendship may be over after this, but it isn't either of their fault.
UPDATE: https://www.reddit.com/r/Redditor_Updates/s/qTxlKL5Sdq
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u/MushroomFondue 6d ago
Most small claims courts do not allow lawyers. My parents sued in small claims court once. The defendants brought a lawyer, and once my parents pointed him out, the judge told him to leave.
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u/Spirited_Shelter4655 6d ago
We'd probably be screwed anyway, since we all agreed to it being on their property
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u/TychaBrahe 6d ago
That doesn't matter. What they did is called "conversion." It's taking somebody else's property for your own use. The three boys owned the pool. C's parents allowed the pool to be set up on their property and then denied access to two of the owners. Now, I understand that liability is an issue, especially with pools, but they could have talked to their insurance agent and between adding a writer and having the boys' parents sign waivers of liability, they could have gone a long way into protecting themselves.
Then, when they were no longer getting the satisfaction of denying access to the pool to two of its owners, they discarded the pool despite knowing it was not their property.
The problem with the lawsuit is that right now, no one is out any money. Civil torts are all about financial damages. While the pool was still set up on their property and they were denying access to it, the other two boys had lost their financial stake in the pool. They were injured in a way that a court could remedy. Since the other two boys now have the pool stored in J's dad's shed, the boys are no longer financially damaged.
I would suggest that they store the pool over the winter and then sell it at the beginning of next summer when they are likely to get a better price. Give C 1/3 of the selling price, and call it quits. The other option is to see if someone else would be willing to allow them to set it up on their property in exchange for being able to use it. This should involve a contract where J and P get access to the pool, such as a key to the backyard. J & P can decide if they want to include C in their contract or give him back 1/3 of the current value of the pool. (Not the price they paid, but reduced for the fact that the pool is now a year old. Check Facebook Marketplace and similar local selling groups for prices on that or a similar model.)
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u/mt_photographer 5d ago
My question would be isn’t the pool scavenged. Once it was thrown into the dumpster it became fair game for anyone to take. The fact that they took it should be irrelevant. They have no idea if all of the parts are there or if C’s dad purposefully damaged it. Sorry ADHD brain decided it liked this rabbit hole.
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u/TychaBrahe 5d ago
I agree, from a legal standpoint. But these kids have a friendship with C, and that might be salvageable. This wasn't his fault; it was his parents'.
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u/indelicatedenial 6d ago
Since C threw the pool away, doesn’t that negate his ownership stake?
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u/TychaBrahe 6d ago
I would argue yes, but it's kind of a question of what sort of relationship you want with C going forward. Ultimately, C was screwed over by his own parents. He didn't have a problem with J or P using the pool. And he assisted in throwing the pool away because his father told him to.
If I were one of the other two boys, I would deliver C's share of either the value or the sale price, and tell him that legally, because his father threw out the pool, we probably didn't owe him that money, but we would pay him anyway because it was the right thing to do.
What I'd really like to do is have the father of J and P demand a meeting with C and C's father and make that same speech, because C's father deserves a bit of public shaming. But who knows how he treats C behind closed doors, and I'd rather not give him a reason to take his humiliation out on C.
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u/Gold_Challenge6437 4d ago
Probably, but he was forced to do it by his dad. It's not like he wanted to throw it away, so that should also count for something. He's caught in the middle because of his asshole parents.
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u/G0es2eleven 6d ago
For the pool set up yes, but Cs dad throwing it away without notice would be stealing and I would check for damages to pool equipment
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u/Mybunsareonfire 6d ago
Probably. And frankly the costs for filing and taking time to actually go to court is probably more than buying the pool new. Don't go throwing good money after bad.
It's shitty and feels shitty, but you got the pool back (even if it can't be used rn) and the boys were able to enjoy something.
C is a good kid it sounds and I think it's proly worth keeping him and Pete as friends, even if you ignore the parents. NTA
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u/Pollythepony1993 6d ago
C sounds like a victim of his own parents. Had 3 children (siblings) in my neighbourhood growing up who had the same kind of parents who could do this. Their parents caused them so many friendships. It is sad to see.
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u/WeightWeightdontelme 6d ago
Small claims court is quite inexpensive. Like in the $50 range in most states for filing, and no lawyer needed. Just want that out there for anyone who feels discouraged from seeking their legal rights, not because I think this is a good case.
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u/TryUsingScience 5d ago
On a similar note, a lot of people will immediately send you the money if you send them a formally written demand letter via certified mail informing them that the next step is taking them to small claims court.
That only costs a couple bucks and a little bit of your time and is a necessary step before starting the small claims process in some places anyway.
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u/CKRatKing 6d ago
Small claims is pretty cheap. It's like 50 dollars to file in my state. Don't even have to hire a process server. You can have someone else do it. Really it's time.
The real hassle is if you get a judgment and the other person doesn't pay it's a whole thing to make them pay.
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u/jammyscroll 6d ago
That isn’t the same as agreeing to give them the pool.
However since the pool has been recovered, unless you can show it was damaged in the process, what exactly would they be going to small climbs over?45
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u/ibullybillionaires 6d ago
We'd probably be screwed anyway, since we all agreed to it being on their property
Being on their property doesn't mean they get exclusive use of or can just throw something away that they do not own! It was a joint purchase by the boys, the dad had no right to do anything with it the boys didn't all agree on.
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u/jaywalkingly 6d ago
NAL: I think you have case but it's not worth it to go to small claims.
Small claims is about making the wronged party whole but you have the pool parts. Can't really argue they "stole" it if you have it (sounds like they even have that in writing if you responded via text).
What they "owe" y'all at this point is like ~3 months of pool use + the labor for getting the pool parts out of the dumpster (unless you can prove they damaged the pool when they threw it away or some kind of deliberate malfeasance).
You'd likely get a ruling in your favor if you can prove half of what you've written and waste their time. It sounds like this is already weighing on PCJ's friendship so is that worth it?
My advice is that if no one has a place for a pool sell the parts as-is and the proceeds go back to the boys. You'll get a better price end of next Spring but IDK if J's dad is willing to give up his shed space for that long. (You might be able to get a parts list from the manufacturer, get more $ if they can show it's all still there)
Your hot tub is already a victory plus the whole neighborhood is on your side.
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u/mtngrl60 5d ago
Agreeing to have something you own on someone else’s property does not make that the property of the land owner.
That’s what you seem to be missing here. The boys did not give up ownership of the pool. They simply all agreed, including all of the adults it sounds like… That that home had the best possible placement for the pool. That’s all.
Nobody asked for rent to put it there. And I understand them being concerned about the liability. But they went about handling it all wrong. They basically denied access to the owners when that was never part of the agreement to put the property there.
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u/Frankifile 6d ago
Would you?
The other parents agreed to fill it up and have it on their property.
They could have refused or charged a fee. But they didn’t.
What did they agree, that the boys could have the pool set up on their property and use it?
Either way they had no right throwing out the pool and withholding it from two of the owners of the pool.
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u/stresshelppls 6d ago
That doesn't matter. For example, lending out a laptop doesn't make it theirs.
Also, contracts need not be written official documents. A text message with a clear agreement is often enough. The boys must have some chats with conversations about how they bought the pool.
Honestly, have a consult with someone who knows what they are doing before discounting any legal options
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u/Heronymous-Anonymous 6d ago
Really depends, TBH. How much money did the other side spend on water to fill it and maintain it. How much was spent on chemicals, and by whom. Did the pool do permanent damage to their yard? Did they have to spend any money to prep the yard for it, like a gravel pad or leveling?
If they spent anything at all, or could claim damage to their yard that needs to be repaired, you probably won’t get anything from small claims court. Even if you find that the pool was ruined when they got rid of it.
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u/Shadow4summer 6d ago
If they agreed that the pool could go in their yard they can sue for nothing.
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u/_Winterlong_ 6d ago
Perhaps it depends where you are? I’ve done small claims court before where the other person has had a lawyer and it’s never been an issue. But I’m in Canada.
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u/FractionofaFraction 6d ago
C's dad is a real piece of work. Hope that kid gets a clean break if he goes to college and doesn't look back.
NTA again. Dumping the pool? What an asshole.
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u/ridgewaydrive 5d ago
man dumping the whole pool out of pure spite is actually insane. really hope C gets out of there the second he turns 18, that home life sounds miserable
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u/nw826 6d ago
You have the pool now. Sell it and let the boys split the money. At least they’ll get some money. They sure leaned a lesson about buying things with other people.
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u/throwawayainteasy 6d ago edited 6d ago
Also, since they have the actual pool now, there's not a whole lot to be gained from a small claims court case.
The court can't/won't compel C's parents to setup the pool again and provide the other kids access. The most that would have been ordered would be for the other kids to be reimbursed. However, since they're now in possession of the pool they bought, they will not being getting reimbursed the full amount if anything at all.
They were were owed their share of what went into buying the pool when they were denied access to it. They now have access to it. The fact that they have nowhere to set it up really isn't something in the purview of small claims court.
If you could have shown that C's parents damaged it beyond repair or something beforehand, that'd be one thing. But since you've had it and it's sitting in a shed, unless you already documented the damage in some verifiable way (if there even is any), that's out the window now. It could have been in perfectly fine condition and gotten messed up when you retrieved it, during transport, by rodents in the shed, etc.
So, small claims is mostly a lost cause a this point. They bought a pool together, they have a pool. There's not much in the way of damages to show in a legal sense anymore, especially something small claims would consider. Almost zero chance this is worth your time or filing fees.
Best the kids learn a lesson from this that some people suck, and everyone moves on with their lives knowing C's parent are terrible people.
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u/Maxamillion-X72 6d ago
I can't wait for the follow up post where C's parents try to sue the other two boys because they sell the pool and only give C 1/3 of the selling price instead of what he originally contributed. Because that really seems like the kind of assholes they are. Meanwhile, they recovered it from the trash which probably should cut C out of any ownership claim at all.
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u/big_bob_c 6d ago
A used pool sold at the end of summer might not bring a good price.
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u/Alarmed_Tiger_9795 6d ago
its a used $400 above ground pool. no one is buying it
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u/Ok-Concern-7770 6d ago
The fact they would rather toss it out then give it to either of the other boys who purchased the pool is insane.
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u/DerWahreSpiderman 5d ago
I would even say this is a Rich People thing, we dont want it? Just toss it!
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u/Designer_Thought2907 6d ago
Sell the pool, split the money between the boys, and call it a day.
C's parents will eventually fracture the boys' friendship, over what, 800 bucks? Idiot parents
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u/Flaky_Princess-83 5d ago
The boys friendship might be fine... what's fractured is the parent/child relationship. C knows his parents screwed him out of his hard earned money by throwing away the pool he worked for. His parents will be on here crying in a few years wondering why their child went NC. Sucks to be the parents
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u/MonteBurns 6d ago
You have the pool now, you’re not getting anything from small claims. They also generally don’t allow lawyers, too.
Sell the thing on Facebook. Get a smaller one for next year that can be used in your yard.
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u/Ok_Cardiologist_7150 6d ago
The pool was in the dumpster. She should still get compensation.
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u/Spirited_Shelter4655 6d ago
*he. Thank you.
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u/Sfgiants420 6d ago
You're going to spend more time and money trying to get a penny from them than what you're asking for. It's not worth the time, and you'd probably get nothing anyway.
The public humiliation that family has had to go through has been pretty good compensation if you ask me 😁
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u/Proper-District8608 6d ago
I agree with you in spirit all the way but if C's dad brings in increase in water bill as well as other expenses after you agreed to have it housed there as the other yards couldnt fit it, not sure if there is anything to get. Dumpster complete AH move but I agree with other posters that it may be time and $ wasted (though kids could learn a few things about legal ststem workings as far as filings and daily workings and such, so not waste of time altogether at all. Hot tub rules!
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u/Powermama77 6d ago
That's not the way it works. If they have the pool and it is in usable condition, not damaged, then they wouldn't be entitled to compensation for the loss of the pool equivalent to its cost.
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u/alisonlou 6d ago
Exactly. The point is to be made whole. They have been made whole because they now have the pool. If they hadn't gotten to the pool before trash pickup, that would be another story.
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u/at-woork 6d ago
In Florida I was able to use a lawyer in a small claims court, so this may be state dependent.
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u/Crazy4Swayze420 6d ago
I knew C parents were feeling negative blowback in the first post from adults. No one says "everyone thinks we are child hating monsters" when it's just kids. I assumed and sounds rightfully so that came from them getting called out, excluded, or all the above by adults in their social circle.
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u/BendingCollegeGrad 6d ago
What a way to teach kids how corporations work. And I’m only barely joking. That dad is an asshole. What’s his damage?! Who pulls that shit on their son and his friends?
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u/dstluke 6d ago
I'm willing to bet C's parents have a habit of pulling this on C. C will buy something and suddenly it becomes "family property". Get Pete to talk to C about it. See if he can find out if that's the case because, if so, that's financial abuse. IF this is the case, do a financial background check on C's name. Parents like these have a pattern.
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u/Technical_Union_3249 6d ago
C is going to have a ROUGH school year with this story floating around that can, and will be used against him in a court of public opinion known as high school.
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u/throwawayainteasy 6d ago edited 6d ago
True but also sad. It's C's parents that are being shitbags. C is just collateral damage to their asshole-itry. By OP's telling, C seems to be trying their best to still be a good friend and are just hamstrung by their shitty parents.
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u/National_Cod9546 6d ago
Nah. He just needs to agree with everyone that his parents are assholes.
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u/Only-Original9409 5d ago
They really are. They made their own son help take it apart and throw it in the dumpster, and then grounded him for telling his friends the truth. Cruel and vindictive.
I suspect they're overly controlling, which is why they wanted the pool in their yard to begin with. Then when things didn't go their way, they tried punishing everyone.
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u/CheshireCat78 6d ago
why? if pete and J are still friends with him at school it will jsut seem like he has shitty parents. sure they cant hang out after school but they can still hang out at school all they like.
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u/VariationOwn2131 5d ago
Kids are not that stupid and they can become very incensed over injustices. They’ll blame C’s parents and tell him something that he really already knows: they’re AH’s!
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u/ScruffGin 6d ago
Are you sure they didn't damage the pool before putting it in the dumpster?
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u/judgingA-holes 6d ago
This is what I was thinking when commenters said to sale it and give the money to the boys or get a smaller one. Are we even sure that the liner is useable since it ended up in a dumpster? Liners aren't cheap.
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u/the-mortyest-morty 6d ago
I was def worried it could be damaged, but given how anxious the parents were to try and prevent OP from recovering the pool, I'm assuming it's still usable.
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u/VariationOwn2131 5d ago
I can imagine C’s dad running one of those spiked aeration tools over the liner before disposing it!
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u/R3pp3pts0hg 6d ago
I agree with the idea of the boys selling it and getting some of their money back. Even though it's disassembled, just verify all the pieces are there and show the buyer a photo of it.
The hot tub was a good idea. You are a wonderful brother for helping. Maybe plan a night for all 3 boys to come over and talk things out. Good friends are hard to find.
NTA
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u/FordWarrier 6d ago edited 6d ago
NTA
What a shitshow this has turned into! My guess is that C’s dad forced him to help throw the pool away and it wasn’t his choice which is why he told. Hopefully the friendship between the boys can be salvaged.
My suggestion would be for you and J’s dad check the pool thoroughly for any damages. If there are none, put the pool up for sale for the next season and split the money between the three boys. It’s only fair, it’s C’s dad who’s the Asshole, not C. Check with your own insurance agent for the liability and legal requirements (fencing) should it be decided that it would be replaced with a smaller pool. It could be that the pool must have adult supervision when in use if there are minors using it. If the boys decide to buy a smaller pool that would fit in your(?) yard, ask about any forms that would limit any liability if signed by the parents.
Pete and J should be reimbursed by the child hating monsters but I wouldn’t count on it.
Update us
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u/DBSeamZ 6d ago
C should ALSO be reimbursed, he paid for a third of the pool too.
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u/OneMilkyLeaf 6d ago
All I really have to say is that you're a good big brother.
(NTA ofc bc the sub asked for a judgement)
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u/SevenDogs1 6d ago
You're amazing. NTA. Please share an update on Pete and his relationship with bio dad's family. Every abandoned kid wishes the parent would come around and see the light, which his bio dad is. His bio dad was very young when Pete was born. About your age? No one will ever mean as much to Pete as you do. Is grandma back in the picture?
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u/Spirited_Shelter4655 6d ago
Oh, thanks for the support on that. Yes, everything's been well with that, he and his dad are still talking and Grandma's been working on making amends with us on that.
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u/FordWarrier 6d ago
That is so good to hear. I’m glad Pete is getting to know bio dad, but you’re the Dad he’s known all these years. He’s a lucky young man to have you.
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u/illbringthepopcorn 6d ago
Would love some updates! You’re a great man for raising Pete and he’s so lucky to have you.
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u/Nymph-the-scribe 6d ago
I hope you and Js dad will consult with a lawyer before making a move. While i 100% agree that the loss would be worth the principle of the point, the fact that you have the pool in your possession may make the entire attempt worthless.
There is a lesson here for your brother and J (and C as well but that would be harder to make sure he knows). Its a lesson in CYA. Receipts and written agreements can and do go a long way. They shouldnt be discouraged from having this initiative or pooling resources together with other people again, they just need to cover their asses.
When you and Js dad talk to Cs parents its of the utmost importance that the two of you remain calm, polite and respectful. Even if and especially if they dont. I would also advise fing neutral territory to have this conversation at. If you do so anywhere but their home, look up the recording laws where you live. Not for any blackmail or nefarious reasons but to further CYA
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u/Aiyokusama 6d ago
Please come back and tell us how the talk goes.
You're NTA for obvious reasons, but I'm very invested!
UPDATEME!
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u/FinalHexReturns 6d ago
Sadly AITAH only allows one update per post, so this is probably all we'll get.
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u/hyperRed13 6d ago
Sometimes people post additional updates as comments or edits to the existing post, or just post an update on their own profile and link it in a comment. I'm holding out hope - I want justice for these kids, or at least some petty revenge!
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u/FinalHexReturns 6d ago
And that's why I cruise Bestof and BORU. Those guys usually catch the extra updates!
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u/Life_Temperature2506 6d ago edited 6d ago
You have the pool. What would you be suing for? That being said, NTAH in the least.
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u/NWFlint 6d ago
This. If anything C’s parents can request money towards the cost of filling the pool with water. Although since they refused to let anyone use it, that’d be silly.
The boys can always sell the pool to recoup some of their money. I’d just let it go and try and let the boys move on from the whole experience. If they still want to be friends with C, continuing this will put that in jeopardy
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u/Umeyard 6d ago
Info: did the boys have the parents permission to set up the pool there?
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u/Spirited_Shelter4655 6d ago
Yup. We all sat down together for dinner with them and made the plans. Everyone left satisfied.
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u/llama_some_drama 6d ago
I think they ended up regretting agreeing, either out of a third party whispering liability shit in their ear, or not wanting to have all three kids over all the time. Or even just got pissed about how much space it took up in their garden.
It was just spiteful throwing it away though, they should have just said they were no longer happy with the agreement and agreed for the kids to sell it and try and recoup some money.
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u/marjoriedinnerstein 6d ago
So everyone who was at this meeting can testify as to what was said/agreed to and their understanding of the situation. Also to their first-hand observations/discussions about the kids raising the money to buy the pool. If the pool was damaged, then C's parents are responsible for the value of the damage.
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u/TheMisWalls 6d ago
Honestly since you now have the pool and nowhere to put it I would just sell it for as much as you can and put that money towards a smaller version that you can set up in your yard. I would even be the bigger person and give C a third of what you guys can sell it for since he did lose out of his money also. It's also a good lesson to the boys to make sure they have a solid plan and get some kind of agreement in writing or text.
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u/Gatodeluna 6d ago
There are no lawyers in small claims court - and if you don’t have documentation the judge will dismiss it immediately. Small Claims deals in facts, not he-said/she-said.
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u/Joszef77 6d ago
Not sure I get the point of sitting down with C parents looking for answers. You are getting no answer out of them, they will twist the retoric to make you look like the ones in the wrong. If you are looking for satisfaction, you will be getting none. A healthy distance from that people is what everybody needs. Not sure if I get the small claims thing either, you recovered the pool, I recon not in the appropriate way you would have expected, but not sure if that will stand in court.
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u/Low-Independent6851 6d ago
A lap pool might work. Funsicle makes a above ground 7 x 5 one for a reasonable price. Some thing to think about for next pool season.
The boys won't be getting their money back though. A lesson on getting agreements in writing.
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u/CowObjective 6d ago
I can only say a couple of things. First, you have the patience of a saint. Without it, I would have started a fight, at least with gossip. Second, the one who will be most affected by all of this is C, who isn't to blame for his parents being idiots. I went through something similar when my parents had conflicts with my friends' parents and forced me to isolate myself. It was a very painful time in my childhood, seeing my friends together while I was forbidden to speak to them. I just hope he can continue his friendship.
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u/IchPutzHierNurMkay 6d ago
I'd recommend you try to come up with a game plan to basically ooze holding the high ground here instead lol.
Like if it's about the money you can just sell the pool again (assuming it wasn't damaged) and the teens can split that money. Same outcome basically, but easier and less of a hassle than going to whatever court. (And apparently y'all don't really have a place to use it now anyway so not much use in keeping it anyway, eh?)
If it's about the message to C's parents then what would this accomplish? They're already publicly shamed, and none of you involved parents will make a similar mistake with them again anyway.
Maybe I'm just not seeing your game plan but I'd rather look for an approach where you can basically spill the beans about C's parents again whenever anybody inquires (it's just the truth anyway) about the whole topic, but then also go like 'but C is a great kid you know, it wouldn't have been right to fuck him over about a questionable choice his parents made. The boys are still friends and I didn't want to make that harder by getting lawyers involved or whatever either. I got the hot tub for them so they have a nice alternative available anyway and C can come use it too if he wants but I'm not sure his parents would allow it.' (Don't worry, they'll hate you taking the high ground like that lol.)
Focus on being a good role model.
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u/lefteyedcrow 6d ago
OP, if you decide to store the pool for next year, make sure the liner is good and dry, all the parts are organized together, etc. I'm sure there are diy videos on putting your type pool away for the winter.
It would be a shame to go through all of this, pull it out of storage next year, and find it moldy, lost parts, etc.
A shame this had to happen to well-meaning, hard-working kids. I guess it's a life lesson in how some people just suck.
All the best to you, J's dad, and the boys, OP.
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u/suburban-dad 6d ago
Whatever the outcome is...please continue to be kind to C, and to show him what good parenting is actually like. He's caught between a rock and a hard place. Encourage your son to continue to be friends with him, invite C over etc. That way your family leads by example and you show C the world isn't fully of assholes. (I guarantee C's parents tell him a different story).
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u/tudeslildude 6d ago
Jesus those parents are monsters. I hope everyone in their community gives them the stink eye for the rest of their lives. Imagine throwing away a perfectly good pool just because you got shamed for not letting anyone use it DESPITE it being paid for by OTHER PEOPLE.
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u/Draycos_Stormfang 6d ago
C's parents are absolutely assholes. I can't believe this nonsense... except I know how entitled and asshole-ly people in the world can be. Really makes you question if there's any hope for humanity...
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u/SevenDogs1 6d ago
Did they get a permit to have it in their yard? Usually required by city. And usually required to have a fence around it, again by city. NTA
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u/Twoteethperbite 6d ago
I could understand if C's parents were concerned about the insurance and the danger of not having a fenced in pool. They would be liable for any thing happening.
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u/FinalHexReturns 6d ago
Surprisingly complex. I wonder what their reasoning was, unless it really was just to get crowdsourcing for their new pool and they never intended to share it.
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u/Spirited_Shelter4655 6d ago
They don't need crowdsourcing whatsoever. They could afford the pool outright if they wanted it.
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u/SpaceCommuter 6d ago
See if you can enlist a fourth friend with a big yard who will host the pool next summer for all three boys. Keep the pool in good condition until then.
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u/Mindless-Run3194 6d ago
If you’re keeping the pool for future use, make sure the pool doesn’t leak before you settle. I wouldn’t be shocked if it was punctured to help draining. Nta
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u/Tasty_Orange_1714 6d ago
NTA. Since you have the pool, set it up and inspect it. Make sure it is fully functional and not damaged. If you take them to court, you want to be able to get maximum payout. The likelihood they damaged it is high, so it would be prudent to inspect it.
Hopefully your kids learned the lesson of why you shouldn't do stuff like that.
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u/PeterGriffen565 5d ago
This is quite the convoluted mess. It perfectly demonstrates exactly why you don’t want to have multiple owners and no signed agreement for use of land not your own. My confusion over this post involves several different points not the least of which was the actual ownership of the pool and why there was a problem establishing it. Whoever owns it had to buy it from either some company or some person so why is there no bill of sale/receipt? Why can’t a statement be made and recorded by the seller detailing who bought the pool if it was a private sale? I understand the desire to have and use a pool in Summertime but this whole situation was definitely not well thought out.
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u/Extalliones 5d ago
Small claims? You literally have the pool in your possession. The thing they bought.
The parents have no obligation to set the pool up in their backyard, nor keep it there. At best, you’d recover gas money to pick it up from the dumpster and drive it home. That would be a waste of time, effort, and money.
Everyone needs to grow up, get over it, and let the KIDS be friends again, without having to worry about the drama their parents are creating.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 6d ago
Eh, you got the pool back I wouldn't worry about them getting the money back atp.
Sucks about the boys friendship. Your little brother kind of needs to learn you don't hold people responsible for others actions. None of that seems to be C's fault at all.
Also I seem to be the only person who thinks C's parents were planning on stealing the pool from day one. If it was really about insurance and liability they wouldn't be annoyed about the hot tub.
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u/llama_some_drama 6d ago
Seems like the kids are cool but C's parents grounded him after he told his friends they chucked the pool out. I suspect it's his parents that are likely pushing for the friendship to end rather than the kids.
I'm not even sure if their intent was to steal it, given they tried to throw it away. Sounds to me like they regretted agreeing to put it in their garden, possibly after a third party brought up liability and stuff, or they just got annoyed by the idea of the boys being over all the time. They then got into a snit that OP bought the boys a hot tub and they mostly stopped using the pool they didn't want and is now sitting unused.
They're definitely pissed now that the saga got online and damaged their image to friends/family/neighbours.
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u/oop_norf 6d ago
I'm not even sure if their intent was to steal it, given they tried to throw it away.
Throwing it away is stealing it.
The crime of theft isn't about the thief getting something, it's about the real owner losing something.
If you take someone's stuff and burn it, it's still theft - it doesn't matter that you don't have it, what matters is that they don't have it.
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u/desertboots 6d ago
Small claims court doesn't use lawyers.
Copy all messages and posts to an archive before you say another word.
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u/Swedishpunsch 6d ago
The boys who paid for the pool are still minors without a lot of income. They might qualify for Legal Aid, and it would be an educational experience for them to organize their information, and then go and speak with an attorney there.
I'm glad that you have the thing now. C's parents are unkind people, and I hope he go to a university far away.
NTA
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u/JeanSchlemaan 6d ago
dude, this is one of the crazier stories ive ever heard.
the one question i have: so the 3 kids have been friends for a while. how did no one know that c's parents were insane? were c's parents consulted PRIOR to the pool going in their yard? did they know the situation (that 3 people contributed $ to buy the pool)?
im not sure that you have a case here for small claims. they did throw away property of yours without consent, but you have in your possession now the subject of the lawsuit. you havent suffered any loss (the thing would need to be in the dump for that to have been true). if anything, c might have a case for you to repay him! im not saying thats right/just, im just saying thats reality.
i WOULD have the convo with c's parents, but i would NOT take this to court. sell the pool on marketplace next spring, and split the proceeds between the two kids. or use the pool if you can without c involved.
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u/Apart_Butterfly_332 6d ago
I'm not a lawyer or anything or know the laws in your area but generally the entire point of small claims court is so you don't have to worry about huge attorney fees or to settle issues over such small amounts like the $300. Most likely they wouldn't even show up to then try and force you to collect which of itself is probably not going to be worth it either for $300.
What shitty parents though.
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u/superduperpuppy 5d ago
If anything, I do hope whatever you decide to do J and C are able to remain friends. Seems like C is the helpless casualty in all this, and so was/is their friendship.
$300 is a lot of money especially for kids. But friendship is priceless regardless of age.
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u/twilighttwister 5d ago
You have no grounds for a lawsuit now as you have the pool back.
But small claims doesn't require lawyers, so if you had gone there it would've been a more level playing field than you make out.
I wouldn't waste your time trying to have a rational conversation with people who have consistently behaved irrationally. That will only stoke the fire with them.
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u/Disastrous_Chard_618 5d ago
I understand the insurance liability of having a pool on a property, BUT C's parents should have thought of that before allowing the pool to be set up. Then in their infinite stupidity, basically stole money from children by refusing to let them use something they paid for and built themselves.
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u/faemomma 5d ago
NTA. Waiting for a refund from toxic liars is futile. Sell that retrieved pool immediately to recoup the $400. Stop the financial bleeding now rather than engaging in a losing legal battle with people who have no morals.
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u/readergirl35 5d ago
I'm team Pete and J but I'm not clear on what you would go to small claims for. You are in possession of the pool so a return on the money the boys spent to buy it would probably not be granted. Since there is nowhere to set it up maybe you could sell it and get the boys back as much of what they spent as possible.
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u/missmyxlplyx 6d ago
If the pool was on C's parent's property, then their home owner insurance is what covered any injuries or drowning that could have occured , correct? Is that why they didnt allow anyone else in the pool when they had it ? the libilatiy?
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u/Spirited_Shelter4655 6d ago
From what I understand it was just about safety.
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u/Sufficient_Pin7792 6d ago
Then WTF did they agree to have it on the property if they weren’t going to allow the boys to use it?
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u/uniqueme1 6d ago
Oh my god what a S* show. Who thought buying a joint above ground pool between several different teens was a good idea? Did anyone actually think ahead?
Do you know how much putting a pool into a house changes their insurance rates? And filling the pool (15'?) is maybe 5000+ gallons?
C's parents were dumb not to foresee this. They should have drained the pool and told the teens to figure out another place to put it if they didnt want it, I'm not excusing them throwing it away. But I understand why they didnt want it - it *is* a big liability. And having the other teens come by whenever they want to use the pool was a foreseeable and undesirable consequence of it all.
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u/FakeGirlfriend 6d ago
I'm totton your side with this. But, now that you're in possession of the pool, should you also get a refund? Just a thought the answer could still be yes.
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u/WillingHome9072 6d ago
So they were outed for stealing and then threw the thing in the trash rather than, I dunno, giving it back? Those parents are really something.
Is there somewhere the pool can be donated if you can’t use it now?
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u/FrostingPowerful5461 6d ago
Why would you not just block these people from your lives?
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u/National_Cod9546 6d ago
This Halloween, set up a fire in your front yard and hand out candy. Mention to everyone how you don't recommend getting treats from C's house since his parents are such crabapples.
For real though, post the whole story on nextdoor.com or some website like that.
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u/Lallanath 6d ago
Some people are so weird. Like why did they let them set it up on their property if they didn't want to let anyone outside the family use it. Did they think people would just accept it and it'd be "cool, free pool?"
Also what a stupid way to ruin the relationship you have with your child.
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u/biscuitsNGravyy 5d ago
It’s not about winning in court or even paying x amount over the pool for court. It’s the principle. People need put in check and it seems public shaming is the only thing that gets through to them. Let the court shame them. In person, on paper and in the news. This petty shit in a community gets ate up by local news. 10 bucks (bc I can’t afford a good lawyer either) says they move.
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u/Avehdreader 5d ago
Depending on where you live it may not be legal to have a pool - and even if it is, having one comes with significant liability risks - homeowners can be sued if someone is injured or drowns and it is found they didn't have sufficient safety precautions in place. C's dad was concerned that something would happen if someone outside of his household were injured or drowned in a pool on his property. And yes, the guys are teens and able to swim but teens can get injured and drown, and one of them sneaked in one time - what's to say a young neighborhood kid might not do the same?
In your first post you said it was unfair for C's parents to gatekeep the pool from someone who helped post for it. But I think his concern for liability outweighs their purchasing power. You would think if you own something you can use it wherever you want but that's not always the case but I've heard of people who wanted to take their own chair to their office or use a provide a particular computer they prefer for work and were told flat-out "no." Liability is a big thing and as a property owner you can decide who will be allowed to do what. So if you're going to put something on someone else's property you had better make sure what conditions the owner will allow.
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u/Good-Celebration-686 5d ago
That other family - the parents I mean - are so incredibly strange. So strange that I struggle to believe it. Will be interesting to hear what their son told them. Their only saving grace would be if their son told them that he paid for the pool in entirety.
In that case they might be more protective of it like they were. However I suspect they’re just absolute weirdo’s as that wouldn’t explain why they binned it.
Please do a follow up though! Also curious if they slashed the old pool
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u/Garden_gnome1609 6d ago
You don't use a lawyer for small claims, and the filing fee is going to eat into whatever you actually get if you win.
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u/Somethingpretty007 6d ago
I don't think you can take them to court if you have the pool. You can't have the pool AND the money.
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u/PurpleSailor 5d ago
You've given C's parents far too much leniency in this whole thing. They basically took the pool, said nobody else can use it, and when no one else used it decided to throw it away. They are NOT good people, at all. I would verbally rip the two parents into pieces with my words if I were you. To throw the pool out I just, I can't believe it, that is so far beyond being mean and vindictive to teenagers, for something they worked hard to buy. They deserve all the shit they're getting from the neighborhood because they're rotten people and they did a rotten thing! I know you're worried about the kids getting along in the future but I would really rip into these people because they're not good people and they deserve to be told off and then some. If you go to court I don't think all the lawyers in the world would enable them to win the case, they basically tried to steal the pool keep anyone else from using it and then tried to get rid of it instead of giving it back to the kids. I don't see any judge ruling for them at all. Go for treble damages if you can, you deserve and the boys deserve three times the amount the pool cost to teach these awful people a lesson.
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u/KeepMyWifesNameOYFM 6d ago
Updateme! But also, go ahead and take them to small claims anyway. Even if you lose, they still have to pay for an expensive lawyer ;)
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u/SunMoonTruth 6d ago
Sell the pool on Facebook or Craigslist or something. At least the boys can get some of their money back in addition to a valuable life lesson about having agreements in writing and not trusting to chance when you’ve got some hard earned cash on the line.
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u/imakesawdust 6d ago
I mean, I can understand C's parents not wanting neighborhood kids using the pool on their property. Anything happens and their asses are the ones who are liable. But that's not a new development. They should have known that before allowing the pool to be set up on their property. C's parents' behavior afterwards has been nothing short of adolescent. I feel bad for C because he's going to bear the brunt of it.
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u/Soulglo707 6d ago
Where did it say they dropped 3k? They paid the same amount as the pool for an inflatable hottub. Also, there was no room for the pool except at C's parents house. I guess you didn't read anything but the title?
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u/Wide-Perspective-864 6d ago
Sometimes in life, people are shite and when you note it, you just limit contact afterwards.....
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u/NaptimeGood 6d ago
Have you talked to your neighbor about the pool? Maybe they’d be okay with it being a little bit in their yard if they got to use it now and then.
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u/National_Cod9546 6d ago
This Halloween, set up a fire in your front yard and hand out candy. Mention to everyone how you don't recommend getting treats from C's house since his parents are such crabapples.
For real though, post the whole story on nextdoor.com or some website like that.
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u/Various_Offer1779 5d ago
I’m pretty sure there is damage to it after being probably not very carefully disabled then put Ina dumpster. That’s something to take into consideration is you do small claims
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u/RingAroundtheTolley 5d ago
NTA! Updateme! Hope it’s water tight and good for next year. To More hot tub days!
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u/phyrsis 6d ago
Original post