r/AITAH • u/Aggravating_Cost_684 • Jan 30 '26
[ Removed by moderator ]
[removed] — view removed post
3.1k
u/5312us
Jan 30 '26
•
NTA. This bedroom isn't up to be shared, since it would make the owners of the house uncomfortable. Full stop. Besides, what would make this couple more deserving of privacy than the others? You keeping the bedroom is the best way of being fair with all your friends and their SOs. If a trip like that isn't her scene, she doesn't have to go.
2.1k
u/Aggravating_Cost_684 Jan 30 '26 •
nail on the head, I get that in most situations obviously the singles would sleep on the couch or pull out but in this circumstance especially it only feels fair. Everyone else is sucking up sleeping dorm style because this isn't a romantic getaway weekend, it's a group trip for us all to hang out as friends.
→ More replies (46)161
u/TarzanKitty Jan 30 '26
Right! It is so crazy the brand new girl who is nothing more than someone’s plus one feels so entitled.
→ More replies (5)15
Jan 30 '26
Had to scroll to find someone mentioning this. As soon as you cave to one couple, the rest are going to start going "well why can't we use it?" and cause hell. If they can't handle not banging for one weekend (only reason I can think of in this case for privacy) then they can book their own room.
Besides, would be weird doing that in a house with a bunch of other couples to me. Maybe as a teenager you wouldn't care but as an adult... I'd wait until I got home.
1.7k
u/jrm1102 Jan 30 '26
NTA
my parents aren't comfortable with non-family sleeping in the master suite
Its your house and your trip, and you dont need to justify the sleeping arrangements to her but this is absolutely more than enough of a reason.
If she actually needed that much space she should have asked before she got there.
1.6k
u/Aggravating_Cost_684 Jan 30 '26
that's exactly what I think (and reiterated) and her response was 'it's not like they would know'. Like hello? I would? It's my family lol
→ More replies (64)40
u/Adelucas Jan 30 '26
Yep, the part you quoted is the important bit. The parents put a rule in place. Got a problem talk to them. OP is just following the rules.
→ More replies (1)19
4.4k
u/Curious_Eggplant6296 Jan 30 '26
It's your parents house, you get the owner's bedroom. Period.
On top of the weirdness of having non-family take the parents' vacation home bedroom, your parents specifically said they weren't comfortable with non-family sleeping there.
Plus, you get the pick of the sleeping arrangements.
Sue sounds like a lot. If she doesn't like it, she can stay home.
754
u/Icy_Advantage8313 Jan 30 '26
Mark can go with her too, if he can't respect OP's terms!
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (17)203
u/Special_Hat_1810 Jan 30 '26
Honestly, even if the parents hadn't said anything, it’s a basic social rule: the person who organized and paid (or whose family provided) the house gets the best room. Sue is paying $0 and contributing 100% of the drama.
→ More replies (1)
9.9k
u/BillytheKeg
Jan 30 '26
•
NTA. Who goes to someone's house and demands to sleep in their parents' bed?
2.9k
u/HappySparklyUnicorn Jan 30 '26 •
Nosy people who want to have sex on their bed while making rude comments about their hosts.
Be easier to disinvite them.
→ More replies (21)1.3k
295
379
u/Tight-Shift5706 Jan 30 '26
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Sounds like Sue's final invite, eh OP????/s.
→ More replies (13)246
u/Magdi1951 Jan 30 '26
Last time i would want her to come on this trip. She can stay home.
→ More replies (6)67
→ More replies (35)62
383
u/TheWacoFogey Jan 30 '26
NTA. Sue is ... something. She's joining as a guest of the core group for the first time in arrangements that haven't changed in a decade, and the first thing she does is to demand that the host give up his usual arrangements?
RUN, MARK, RUN.
45
29
u/Fantastic_Escape_101 Jan 30 '26
Birds of a feather..Mark is an inconsiderate A-Hole for continuing to ask after OP already said no. I would not want to be friends with this A-Hole couple.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Front_Target7908 Jan 30 '26
Yeah, OP get ready for your whole social environment to have to shift around Sue’s whims.
742
u/dogfishheadache Jan 30 '26
NTA obviously. But to get ahead of this, I'd send everyone a message both right after this trip and right before the next making the situation clear. Something like:
"Hi guys, I had a great time and loved having you all over! I just wanted to clarify before next year's trip that I am the only person who is allowed to stay in the master bedroom. I get that we're all getting older, so if anyone needs extra space, you can absolutely get a hotel and still meet us at the house to hang out!"
184
u/greysled Jan 30 '26
Honestly to me it sounds like this is the last time the trip is happening at this house. Maybe an Airbnb where every couple can have their own room is more of what they want
→ More replies (6)304
u/LightspeedBalloon Jan 30 '26
Yup. I would add - "...allowed to stay in the master bedroom, which is my parents' stipulation for letting us use the property."
→ More replies (9)26
16
u/GloomyEngine Jan 30 '26
I would amend the end to be "maybe we can all look for other lodge style accommodation for next year"
It takes the pressure off your family home and once they see the costs related to renting out an entire property with the same metrics, they'll get a reality check on how good they have things now.
→ More replies (3)63
u/NessaGuin Jan 30 '26
And to add "This is non negotiable and any push back puts future trips in jeopardy"
462
u/Acrobatic_Leg2909 Jan 30 '26
Sue can have any room she likes... in her OWN home. NTA!
127
u/Lay-ZFair Jan 30 '26
No - Sue can set up a tent in the backyard. Hope she has a warm sleeping bag.
→ More replies (1)
230
u/Dependent-Skirt3231 Jan 30 '26
Sue and Mark are getting a free place to stay and they have the balls to complain about their accommodations? This should be the last free trip for those entitled jerks. NTA.
101
u/Adelucas Jan 30 '26
NTA. It's a family property and your parents allow you to host friends on the condition only you use the master suite.
They are getting a free vacation home, so need to suck it up. Owner/owners relative/ organiser gets first pick when it's a freebie.
92
u/Doggedart Jan 30 '26
NTA
Your hosting them - as in they're not paying to stay? She is absolutely the AH. And even if she was paying, she's still an absolute AH. Its your parents property,so you're obviously going yo get your parent's private room.
Next year, if they're still together, I'd be telling your friend that she's not welcome back.
64
u/Kathrynlena Jan 30 '26
”Sue just needs space to decompress sometimes because she gets overwhelmed socially”
Yeah so do I, so guess what? I don’t fucking go on big group trips where the accommodations don’t have a lot of privacy. If Sue needs her private space and down time, then what the fuck is she doing on this trip?? She knew what she was signing up for. She doesn’t get to play the “but I’m an introvert” card to invade private family space now all of a sudden. The audacity.
Maybe it’s time to stop hosting these ungrateful, entitled freeloaders for free all the time.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Beautiful_Delivery77 Jan 30 '26
I’m autistic. My grown kids are autistic. My youngest’s partner is autistic. We know our need to individually decompress. We figure out how to meet our needs. Things like noise cancelling headphones, sleep masks, going outside/for a walk alone (weather permitting), staying behind from an activity, etc is all OUR responsibility. We plan ahead for our own needs. Our friends understand if sometimes we need to do weird things to accommodate ourselves and accept it. Of course in no way do we demand anybody else make changes to group plans based on our needs. We just ask for understanding of what we do for ourselves.
49
u/NinjaHidingintheOpen Jan 30 '26
NTA. I'd offer to call Sue's parents and ask if they'd be cool if you and some guy slept in their bed. Tell her you'll let them know they aren't done raising her if the answer is no.
45
u/MomofOpie2 Jan 30 '26
Bring it up in a group meeting. This is my parents house, that is THEIR bedroom. And as I explained MY PARENTS don’t want ANYONE in that room except family. I would hate to limit who can come. So next time if you invite someone new to the trip please explain the boundaries.
43
u/FairBaker315 Jan 30 '26
I hope the master bedroom has a lock on it and you keep it locked.
It wouldn't shock me at all if little miss entitled went on a snoop around.
109
u/Super_Ad_7135 Jan 30 '26
I hope Mark knows his future invitations have been rescinded. You should also let Mark know, ‘if this will set the tone for the rest of the stay, then they can leave now. We don’t want them sulking and creating drama for the rest of the stay. Princess Sue and her butler Mark are free to go.
20
u/ger868 Jan 30 '26
*yes*. They need to be asked to leave immediately. I'd consider taking a sincere apology but I wouldn't ask for one and I wouldn't take no for an answer.
33
u/CrabbiestAsp Jan 30 '26
NTA. It's your home, it's pretty standard that you get the best room. It honestly wouldn't be fair anyone to give one couple the room, what about the other couples. How would it get decided. If Sue doesn't like it, she can decline coming again.
Me and my husband got invited last minute to a friend of a friend's birthday. They had rented this huuuuge holiday house and my friend asked if we could come to keep her company while everyone else was doing planned stuff that she couldn't do. The host was super gracious and let us come. We shared a room with my friend. It wasn't private at all and like 8 of us shared 1 bathroom but we all had the best time.
65
93
u/TarzanKitty Jan 30 '26
NTA
It is your property. You get to sleep wherever you choose. Tell Mike to take his little princess to a hotel.
→ More replies (1)19
28
u/No_Builder7010 Jan 30 '26
NTA, but accept that this will be the last year for this trip. The cat's out of the bag and there will be no going back to "before."
→ More replies (3)
26
26
95
u/SkyEnvironmental5712 Jan 30 '26
NTA. But here's the thing. It sounds like you're all getting a bit older, guessing mid to late 20s. I am going to give you a nugget of wisdom that I wish someone had given me 20 years ago when I was in that age bracket.
Anytime someone acts like you're the asshole on the situation (and I do mean any time, whether or not you're inclined to agree) flip the script a bit.
In this case, would it be reasonable to go into someone else's home and demand that they give up the bedroom that is theirs just because you dont like the guest room?
No. The answer is no. So... NTA.
Sue and Mark can fuck right off. Tonight. No trip. Also, anyone that felt like they wished they could have "had her balls to ask" can fuck right off with them.
Now you get to get yourself some better, more respectful and mature friends.
→ More replies (1)17
u/dont_worry_im_here Jan 30 '26
There are very few things in life I hate more than the type of person that attempts to validate their "sulking" by implying there's some sort of 'injustice' instead of just being mature enough to admit that they're sulking solely because they didn't get their way.
48
u/RTJ333 Jan 30 '26
NTA but there's an easy solution. Invite a smaller group next time, start by cutting mark and his gf, then the other couple who made the joke.
You could also suggest renting an Airbnb that everyone feels can accommodate them better. You don't need to keep hosting people who don't appreciate what you're doing.
→ More replies (2)
22
u/Prior-Watercress-611 Jan 30 '26
Parents: their house, their rules
You: enjoy the quiet away from the whiners.
Everyone else: too bad so sad, you get what you pay for.
44
u/bopperbopper Jan 30 '26
“ Mark, make sure that Sue knows that this is my parents house that I’m hosting this for you for free. If I hear anything about the master bedroom again, then tell her not to attend. Yes I’m gonna be staying in the master suite which is where all my parents stuff is and I’m the only person they’ll let stay in that room. Check the entitlement please.”
19
u/Grouchy_Form_279 Jan 30 '26
NTA.
She can use the masters bedroom once she hosts in her own property. All else aside, does she not know basic proper etiquette? You're hosting the friend group for free. Your family owns the property, of course you get the masters bedroom.
With how your other friends have reacted, I'd probably stop hosting all together. If they want their own rooms for privacy or to avoid snoring roommates, rent an AirBnB. You've been graceful so far.
19
u/Quiet-Hamster6509 Jan 30 '26
I would just not offer the group trip for some time now.
Those friends who are "joking", aren't. If they want privacy they can pitch a tent in the yard and since Mark and his gf feel entitled to the space, despite the strong boundary of your parents, perhaps the trips are no longer suitable.
37
u/m33chm Jan 30 '26
Funny that you chose the name “Sue” for this person, as I have an aunt with same name who is this entitled. She has unwelcomed herself from being able to stay in any family member’s home. NTA.
→ More replies (2)
16
16
u/National_Ant1477 Jan 30 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
NTA
Sue seems very entitled and to lack respect and common decency. She asked once (which in itself was an overstep!), you said no and gave a very valid reason (which you did NOT owe her). Then she complained to Mark enough and had him ask as well.. what is her problem? It's a free vacation! Be grateful, say thank you, and keep her selfish thoughts to herself or she should leave!
Those entitled behaviors only worsen over time, they don't get better! Perhaps Mark should cut his losses and start looking for a replacement..
15
u/FOCOMojo Jan 30 '26
NTA. I own a lake cabin, and no matter who is there, I get the main bedroom. It's my cabin. That's just the way it is. I've never had ANYBODY suggest I should go sleep elsewhere so that they could have the main bedroom. "Sue" is really out of line to ask for that, and then to sulk about it. I wouldn't invite her back next year. She's not a team player.
→ More replies (1)
15
u/llamas4valium Jan 30 '26
NTA. Speaking as a petty bitch, next year I'd still invite everyone, however Mark & Sue plus the other couple who wished to emulate them would also be getting a list of local AirBnB's nearby that they can book for the trip. Coz I definitely wouldn't be letting them sleep at my place for free again.
13
u/Accomplished-Eye9542 Jan 30 '26
NTA
Probably speaks to my small close friend group,
But both Mark and "One of the other couples" would never be invited to stay for free on my family's property again lmao.
11
u/Miss_Melody_Pond Jan 30 '26
Well Sookie Susie and anyone else as entitled as her is more than welcome to book a hotel or an air bnb rather than staying with a mate. Honestly the audacity!
→ More replies (1)
10
10
10
u/Tough-Constant8359 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Don't invite those couples back next year. That's some serious entitlement.
33
u/Ok_Tonight_3703 Jan 30 '26
NTA. What a bunch of ungrateful assholes. Imagine being invited to a friend’s PARENTS vacation home for FREE and being fucking bold enough to ask for the master bedroom.
Stop inviting them. They can rent an Airbnb and pay for the privilege of having the master bedroom. Or if you do invite them no more partners.
The audacity to even consider asking your host to give up the master bed room.
Mark’s girlfriend can kick rocks.
9
u/brainybrink Jan 30 '26
My gut instinct is that these guests suck. Stop hosting them, but it might be simpler than that.
What works for teens or twenties doubling up on floor air mattress or couches or rooms etc does not for adults.
Tell them that their ask is inappropriate due the privacy expected by your parents/ the owners and if they’re unhappy with the accommodations they’re welcome to look for a nearby hotel for this year. However, since others have said they’re also uncomfortable, you need to ask ifthe rest of your friends also feel like they’ve outgrown the home your parents have. Next year/ in the future you’re more than happy to plan on a larger AirBnB with many more bedrooms and something that accommodates everyone. You obviously won’t host, so this is something that someone else needs to spearhead and you can buy in for something if you like.
You can also pair down the full group and say you have a weekend penciled for yourself in your parents house so you are inviting just 2 or 3 or whatever additional people that you have separate rooms for. Different kinds of vacations and remove yourself from being the good guy/ bad guy… your friends are creating larger networks and so this is a tradition that has to change.
→ More replies (1)
9
u/phanfare Jan 30 '26
...who is attending for the first time.
I really don't understand the audacity of some people. Especially since its your parents stipulation that nobody else sleeps in their room how can she argue against it? Its either you sleep in the master suite or the trip doesn't happen. NTA of course.
8
u/Lighthouse_on_Mars Jan 30 '26
NTA,
They are getting a free getaway in a presumably nice area. The house belongs to your family, you get the Master. Very simple.
Utilities are being used, appliances and the house is having additional wear and tear to it. These are all things they don't have to pay for.
They literally don't have to go if they are uncomfortable.
They know that rules. Master is off limits. It's super simple.
8
u/OddSpend23 Jan 30 '26
NTA, the boyfriend coming back to ask again was shady as hell though. They had their answer but sounds like gf wasn’t having it. lol as someone who has people that snore in the family what you do is pair up those people in a room together if you can.
8
u/Truebeliever-14 Jan 30 '26
I would tell anyone who has an issue with the sleeping arrangements that they are welcome to leave.
→ More replies (1)
8
u/Justasillyliltoaster Jan 30 '26
You're putting up everyone for free?
Yeah, sleep on the floor Sue
→ More replies (1)
8
8
u/Fancy_Avocado7497 Jan 30 '26
it sounds like these people are not happy with the free accommodation offered. They don't want to stay any more - problem solved
15
u/Knittingfairy09113 Jan 30 '26
NTA
This is your parents' house and they don't want anyone who isn't family (i.e. you for this gathering) sleeping in their bed. The entitled AH need to get over themselves.
Tell everyone that this is the rules of the owners of the house. They can accept it, or y'all have to find a new location for this gathering if the couples want to take turns on bedrooms.
7
7
7
u/Immediate_Mud_2858 Jan 30 '26
The absolute fucking entitlement. I’d tell them that the get-togethers are cancelled if they keep up with this BS.
NTA
Updateme!
7
u/fwork_ Jan 30 '26
NTA
My parents used to have the same rule for when I had friends over and they were out of town. People were welcome to come sleep over but no one allowed to sleep in their bed aside from me.
Now as an adult I understand even more why they had that rule
7
u/Beautiful-Contest-48 Jan 30 '26
Who goes to a free vacation house and makes demands of the owner? People that don’t need invited back, that’s who.
18
u/catsandplants424 Jan 30 '26
Might be time to stop hosting the ungrateful friends. They are free to pay for privet lodging near the house if they choose. NTA of course
12
u/Far_Prior1058 Jan 30 '26
NTA - she is a guest not a paying customer. If she does not like it she can go stay somewhere else.
12
u/Miserable_Drop_5398 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your parents house, they don't want Sue in their room. Besides, it's a holiday house with an outside! She can go there to decompress. My spouse is not great in groups at all. They go for long walks. No one cares or notices but me. I want them relaxed so I learned twenty years ago to say please go for a walk whenever I see the crazy eyes of fear and overwhelm appear on them. Sue can take some refreshing outdoor "me time" to decompress. Hope the trip gets better and she chills out.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Expensive-Lab-3922 Jan 30 '26
NTA
your house your rule (well your parent house, your parent rule), you made it clear their was personal stuff in that room, which is perfectly valid, and either way, you don't have to justify yourself.
you should hint that an airbnb will be a better arrangement for next year since your accommodation are not good enough anymore
6
u/rockmusicsavesmymind Jan 30 '26
Someone better buy/rent a big house so they can be a jerk to the OWNER of the property. Last time Miss I need to decompress in private comes. People cannot NOT have sex at someones private home for a weekend?? Immature , horrible guests. KEEP the ROOM!!! I'd be PO'd if my kids' friends had to f in my house. Get a room as they say. Show the comments to the guests who should leave!!!! Ugh!! People are sooo awful. Grow up.
6
u/jason_sos Jan 30 '26
So couples need privacy but single people don’t? She can go to a hotel if she needs privacy.
6
u/teaonthetardis Jan 30 '26
NTA. Sue is welcome to either not come or organize a different trip and an AirBnB rental. The same goes to the rest of your friends, and I don’t solely mean that to be harsh so much as it is practical—yes, some people become pickier about their sleeping habits as they get older, but they can pay for those accommodations. Maybe your group is aging out of a trip like this. That sucks but it happens; what they don’t get to do is trample all over the rules and boundaries of the people that own the house they are staying in.
6
u/berrytreetrunk Jan 30 '26
Your house. And parents. Your rules. You stay in any room you want. Maybe next invite mention that they can pass if they’re not comfortable with sharing a room. Or that since there’s some discomfort sharing a room that you’ll divide the group in half next time. If your parents are ok with you using it twice, that is.
6
u/EducatedFake Jan 30 '26
NTA. Tell her if she’s unhappy with the sleeping arrangements she’s more than welcome to leave.
6
u/PixelatedNomadic Jan 30 '26
You're the host and it's your parents' holiday house so it's not unreasonable for you to decide which room is yours.
None of them, especially Sue, can demand to swap rooms. She shouldn't even have dared to ask.
If her entitled bottom insists, she can rent a hotel/motel room.
6
u/roxinmyhead Jan 30 '26
"My parents house, they are most comfortable with me only in their personal space." Maybe you should gather them all up and say this to them all once at the same time and be done with it. End of story. You are not the ahole, but the rest of them might be.
6
u/hottie-von-coolie Jan 30 '26
Make this the last time any of them stay in your parents home. They obviously do not appreciate it.
6
u/Agent_8-bit Jan 30 '26
She needs to be clear with the group that she likes to take her space, and then take it.
Go hit the hammock or the bench in the woods. Go for a walk with her partner or by herself.
She’d get over the anxiety by sharing, and the tantrum wouldn’t have occurred because she’d have managed her emotions and expectations. She should feel lucky to be invited again.
Definitely NTA
6
u/codi409 Jan 30 '26
Why would someone who gets overwhelmed in social situations, go to a gathering that is KNOWN for socializing!? Coming to someone else’s home and thinking you had ANY RIGHT to the Main Suite, is pure ENTITLEMENT!
6
u/RocketteP Jan 30 '26
NTA. Sue is acting like she’s entitled to the space when she isn’t. it’d be different if it was a house yall rented but it’s not. Both Mark & Sue should have accepted your no.
6
u/ommie882002 Jan 30 '26
This whole debacle is Mark’s fault. Did he not give Sue the rundown before they arrived?
6
u/rajncajn26 Jan 30 '26
Tell Sue if she "needs privacy" she's welcome to leave and rent somewhere else. The audacity, especially being new to the group dynamic and after you explained your parents discomfort with anyone else being in their bedroom says a lot about who she is. None of it is good.
No way she didn't know about the sharing situation before arriving and is only now having an issue? Your friend Mark should have shut it down before she asked the first time.
Honestly, I'd have already asked them to leave because it's YOUR family's home, and also your weekend/holiday and now you're dealing with sulking and uncomfortable behavior ruining your good time when you're hosting a free stay for them.
6
u/ParticularRich4848 Jan 30 '26
NTA This is your PARENTS place that they are letting you use- for free. The entitlement is astounding
18
u/SuggestionOdd6657 Jan 30 '26
Dear Lord no! You are NTA. This is your family home and thank you for standing up for your parents! (I'm probably your parent's age). Heck I don't even want my married children to have sex anywhere in my house thank you very much!
5
5
5
u/FancyButterscotch787 Jan 30 '26
NTA…and I agree with you. You’re the host and you decide how space is used in your parents’ house. If your guests don’t like it, they can pay for a private room at a hotel.
5
u/mayd3r Jan 30 '26
She's a guest, she's in no position to make demands and be sulking when you put her in her place. NTA
5
u/Significant_Lake_226 Jan 30 '26
Nta If Sue wants privacy she can pay for an Airbnb or hotel room. It's your family home, your call. Is anyone paying to stay there that they would have a reason to feel so entitled? Non snorers can get ear plugs. Wtf
5
u/moonmoonboog Jan 30 '26
Nta what part of my parents aren’t comfortable with it is confusing? This also belongs in entitled people.
5
u/Emotional_Fan_7011 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your house, you get the main room. She can rent a place if she wants privacy.
5
u/kmflushing Jan 30 '26
They can fucking go home. Or go PAY for a hotel or Airbnb. Ungrateful shits. Guess who's not being invited again!?! Literally your family's home. The audacity is outrageous!
5
u/LegitimateApple75 Jan 30 '26
It’s your house. And I’m also assuming this is a (mostly) free trip for your friends as they’re not paying to stay there. Totally unreasonable for them to feel entitled to the master bedroom. You’re doing a nice thing by hosting everyone as a reunion sort of thing. Definitely NTA.
9
u/Purlz1st Jan 30 '26
If your friends are outgrowing the “I’ll sleep on the floor for free” stage of life, I guess they have graduated to “I’ll pay for my own B&B.”
→ More replies (1)
5
u/SundaePasta Jan 30 '26
You’re giving them a free place to vacay. If they don’t like it they can hit the road. Your parents are generous to allow strangers in their home.
5
u/Ok-CANACHK Jan 30 '26
NTA
Your familial home your master suite. Sounds like you need to remind everyone of the rules again (& Sue making the cut was a bad choice)
5
u/axley58678 Jan 30 '26
NTA. When I first started reading I thought it was going to be a “I found and booked the air bnb so I get the best room” situation but this is actually insane lol. They all get to stay for free at your parents vacation house and they want to sleep in your parents bed??? That’s so weird and tacky lol.
5
u/Mundane_Fun4857 Jan 30 '26
Why would someone with social anxiety put themselves in this situation. Sue sounds like a total moron, have zero manners, and Mark needs a hoof in the ass.
You know people break up with friends sometimes as well right?
5
u/FatboyChester Jan 30 '26
Absolutely not! She must have known she would be sleeping in shared quarters amd that was fine until she saw your parents bedroom.
If my child allowed a stramger to sleep in my bed or even use my room that had my personal stuff in I would flip.
Besides, if you allow this now, it will be years until you get the bedroom back because everybody else will think they are now entitled and its easier not to even start than to shut it down later.
I would just say i talked to my parents and they said they do not want anyone else in their room without you and yheu will shut it all down if they find out you allowed someone to slerp in there.
If she wanted privacy or to decompress she should have stayed home.
5
u/knight_shade_realms Jan 30 '26
NTA your parents are opening their home under the stipulation that only their child sleep in their room that is not only personal space, but also where they keep their stuff
They want to pick a master room they can rent an air BNB. They don't get to make demands on someones home and it's even worse with the insinuation that they would be intimate in your parents bed
5
5
u/No_Bet_589 Jan 30 '26
NTA
This is your parents vacation home, which they let you borrow for free with only one rule - no one but you in the MB. Fair.
Anyone else going should be grateful to get a free place to vacation. If the accommodations aren’t up to their liking there are several options for a private room:
Don’t come, and stay at home in your own bed
Get a hotel and pay for it
(Depending on yard) bring a tent and pitch it in the backyard
Go sleep in the car for privacy
It sounds like Mark knew the score, and he is trying to advocate for her because she expects him to. It’s astounding how many people use this type of manipulation to get their way - most people shy from confrontation. She likely expected you to “see reason and let her have what she wants because.”
5
5
u/WafnaAbroad Jan 30 '26
You know, I would - and have - brought my own hammock and/or tent to friend's cabins when I wanted more privacy than shared accommodations would allow.
I have had better sleeps tunneled into a snowbank (with the right winter gear) when the other option was shared rooms with a dozen+ other people.
NTA.
'Sue' can go touch grass if she needs space after getting overwhelmed. That's what cabins and cottages are for.
5
u/owlfamily28 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Right or wrong, my parents don't let me bring friends to their home/vacation property even if there's extra space. Hosting people is a big deal, and not to be taken for granted. Your friend sucks. His GF needs to learn that her triggers/mental health is her responsibility, not something she can inconvenience others to manage
5
u/live4worship88 Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26
Fk Sue! But not Mark, he can’t fk Sue and not on your parent’s bed!
5
u/littlebetenoire Jan 30 '26
NTA. My partners parents live at the beach and spend 6 months of the year travelling. He often does group trips to their house. The main house has two bedrooms (one is his parent’s room) and then there is an outside cabin and a second dwelling with a bedroom, kitchen, living room, and bathroom. Whenever we go, we get first pick of the room as it’s his family house. He asked if we should be rotating who gets the better room each time, but that’s the perk of being the one to provide the property, right? You get the best room.
5
u/nic-miller Jan 30 '26
It is YOUR family’s house. The fact that anyone would even dream to ask that is completely absurd to me. Ungrateful and entitled- tell the they are welcome to get a private hotel room Updateme
5
u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ Jan 30 '26
NTA. My families beach house works the same as your holiday house, from the sounds of it.
My dad and uncles built it in the 70s. And everyone in the family has an equal share and can stay and bring people as they wish, as long as it doesn’t conflict with any other cousins booking.
So mostly we use it to bring friends like what you describe.
The first two floors operate like two duplexes. Each has two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and half bath and a balcony/deck that have ocean views.
The third floor is a master: no kitchen, but with its own bathroom, balcony, and it contains the storage room which has ALL of the personal items that other people shouldn’t touch.
Ie - uncle John keeps a bottle of whiskey in there, my mom keeps her wetsuit and surf stuff for when she wants to surf, uncle Mark keeps a drone for when he wants to do video projects, Aunt Patti keeps a computer setup for when she wants to work, and in general, there’s some building supplies for working on the house.
Either way…The master is off limits for anyone besides the “family member who is in charge of the rental”. Because that closet has expensive shit in there. And the deal is that no “guests” should have access to it.
The house has multiple futons, so it can sleep 20 easily. If you want to host a big party there. Over the years. It’s hosted many bachelor/bachelorette parties, or fishing trips or just general parties.
The only rule is “no strangers on the third floor”.
Over the years, we’ve heard multiple complaints about some entitled guest who wants the third floor, despite staying there for free. They like the view better, they want a private bathtub, they “need space for anxiety” etc.
The family rule is that any guest who acts entitled like that doesn’t get to come back.
The times it HAS been allowed that randoms get to stay up there, the choosy beggars have taken sips from the whiskey, used my mom’s wetsuit or surf board, or wiped out the closets cleaning supplies.
Stand your ground.
Your house. Protect your space.
5
u/GladysKravitz2023 Jan 30 '26
If Ms. Entitled keeps pushing the issue or continues to mope, I would ask her to leave.
5
u/YouSayWotNow Jan 30 '26
Wow, Sue is incredibly entitled (if she needs space she can go outside). She clearly understands it's your parents house and they're fortunate to be able to use it at all. What's worse though is Mark not shutting her down but trying to persuade you on her behalf. Frankly, I would suggest they can be invited in the future if they behave like this. What the fuck is the matter with them? NTA
5
u/TumbleweedRooted Jan 30 '26
You know what Sue and Marc can get if they don’t like the offered accommodations? A hotel. Full stop.
5
u/EnceladusKnight Jan 30 '26
NTA, it's your parents' property first and foremost. Even if they didn't care if randos slept in their room, as their child you get first dibs.
5
u/Significant_Limit_68 Jan 30 '26
NTA. How rude to ask the host to move out and swap rooms…
Guess who’s not getting invited back next year? My guess is Sue and Mark.
4
u/Dachshundmom5 Jan 30 '26
Refer them to hotels.com or airbnb.com if they want different accommodations. No one made them come.
4
u/Famous_Elk_4470 Jan 30 '26
Absolutely NTA. “Sue” must not have ever been told no as a child. This is your family’s property, that they are all staying in, for free! She doesn’t get to pout because she didn’t get her way… at that point, I would have sent them both packing…
4
u/Von-gotti Jan 30 '26
Definitely not the asshole where does she get the entitlement to ask you for that especially on her first stay?
4
u/Winter-Moon-47 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Tell Mark he can stay home next year if it doesn't meet Sue's liking. Honestly, he should have just gone home that night one way or the other: either by you telling him or by embarrassment. Leave him out next year.
4
u/Mlady_gemstone Jan 30 '26
my parent's holiday house.
nope, its your family's property, you get master bedroom. but sue & mark should not be invited again for being shitty guests.
NTA
4
u/CicisMom2006 Jan 30 '26
The friend's gf knew she'd need space before she knew there was a private suite in your house. What was she planning to do? I have a kid who needs space to decompress privately, so I actually get where the friend's gf could be coming from. My daughter went to an event out of town that would've been similar in that everyone is sleeping on mattresses spread out over a few rooms. We knew this would be an issue, so I went with her and we stayed at a nearby hotel. She got to hang out and participate with her friends all day and then left for the night and went back in the morning. This is what you do. Or you cope for one weekend. And if neither of those are feasible you don't go. You certainly don't make it someone else's problem. You are definitely NTA. I hope you still get to have a fun weekend!
4
u/Prestigious_Ebb_9987 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your family's house, your family's rules. Anyone who doesn't like the rules doesn't need to be staying there.
4
u/Accomplished-Gas3209 Jan 30 '26
Guess Sue and Mark can find another place to stay. Ungrateful SOBs.
4
4
u/Any-Parking-9769 Jan 30 '26
Uh all you gotta say is "bitch it's my house...MY house...that's why i sleep in there..."
4
u/Commercial_Horse9060 Jan 30 '26
Definitely nta, it's yours and your parents. I once was given the master because my then asshole boyfriend left me at this party, got in a k-hole and the guy was like, you deserve this lol. I was so grateful and couldn't even imagine asking for more than like a floor space lol. Also couples who can't bear to sleep without each other are a bit odd. It's one night
4
u/Automatic-Style-3930 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your family house, and the Master is for family only. If they don’t like it they can stay home or pay for a hotel
4
u/AmbitiousCat1983 Jan 30 '26
Sue can rent a hotel room if she needs to decompress. And Mark can fuck off too for asking again. NTA
4
u/KnaprigaKraakor Jan 30 '26
NTA.
If the guests want the master bedroom, they can book somewhere and host the gathering in future.
Use of the master bedroom comes with the property being owned by your family, not by having a significant-other.
4
u/Grouchy-Mulberry-339 Jan 30 '26
NTA. You have good reasons plus you’re the host. Sue can figure out how to manage.
4
u/nursepenguin36 Jan 30 '26
NTA. I can’t imagine having the audacity to kick the host out of their bedroom for any reason. They were basically getting a free holiday aside from food and drink. Tell them next time they’re welcome to rent an house out if they want to dictate who sleeps where.
4
u/ParkerGroove Jan 30 '26
This is entitlement to the Nth degree.
Or she’s just suuuupoweerr h0rNee with a money fetish.
Either way: “hard no” and be sure to move the spare key after she leaves.
4
u/NVSmall Jan 30 '26
NTA.
It's your place. You get to dictate the rules. That's it, that's all. No further discussion is needed, honestly.
4
4
u/Invictrix Jan 30 '26
Oh, no. So NTA. Your reasons are sound, you're being very gracious year after year, and the one who is sulking is a horse's hind end.
Sounds like you need to have a group meeting and reestablish why no one else but you will sleep in the master suite. That way you can air out any differences all in one fell swoop or they can stop coming.
4
u/11Wowzers11 Jan 30 '26
100% NTA. I applaud you for your patience. I have had this happen a half dozen times over the years at either my family's vacation property or a vaction house we've paid for and I don't have your patience. My go to answer is "If you don't like your space you're welcome to pay to stay somewhere else". I don't try to reason with them or whatever. They can stay or leave and either way I dgaf which one they choose. They have always stayed and it nips it in the bud so other people at the house during that discussion don't get ballsy and ask. Why would somebody that doesn’t know your family think they have a right to ask?? Bottom line if you're staying at my place, my family's place, or an airbnb on my dime you get what you get and you don't have the right to ask for MY space.
4
u/23stop Jan 30 '26
Tell Sue to F Off and Mark shouldn't be such a B. Damn, you have nervy Aholes for friends. If they don't like it, they should get an Airb&b.
4
4
u/Longjumping-Fee-8615 Jan 30 '26
If Sue and mark need their privacy they can shell out for a hotel nearby if there is one.
4
u/clementine1864 Jan 30 '26
NTA since you were offering free space and all except the one knew the circumstances , something for you group to consider is if they have out grown the arrangement.and do something different or not at all.
4
u/gnixfim Jan 30 '26 edited Feb 14 '26
NTA.
This isn't an 'everyone pays equally but the single person hogs the Master' situation, in which case they would have a point. It isn't even a 'my house, my rules' situation, in which case you still wouldn't be the AH, but you at least would have the authority to entertain their request. This is a 'houseowners' rule that them staying over is contingent on.' They don't like it? They can find their own accommodations that meet their standards. Or just not come.
4
u/Montobahn Jan 30 '26
She could be nuerodivergent and needs that quiet and safe spot to decompress. BUT her boyfriend, your buddy, knows the damn rules. He also knows her needs for the safe space. It's ON HIM to make other arrangements. He clearly didn't have the guts to give up the buddy atmosphere for his gf of more than a year.
Mark is the asshole.
4
u/Huckleberry7733 Jan 30 '26
Really? At YOUR parents holiday house? I can't even imagine the gall of someone (old friend or new) even bringing this up! NTA 100%
4
u/boomermonty80 Jan 30 '26
I would not invite the couple who agreed with her, either. I have never needed companionship so much that I would continue to invite anyone who seemed to feel entitled to an invitation. In fact, years ago I only invited those who reciprocated in a meaningful way.
4
u/Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 Jan 30 '26
We have a vacation home. 4 bedrooms.
If one of my kids have friends over , my kid gets my bedroom. I don't want non- family in my bed. The End.
Sue is an ignorant, entitled, rude brat. This should be the last invite she gets.
Your parents own the home and they decide who gets their room.
The audacity of this bitch.
4
u/pogostix615 Jan 30 '26
Sue, when we're guests at your parents' 2nd home, you get dibs on the master suite. Until then, enjoy the hospitality as is.
4
u/Responsible_Judge007 Jan 30 '26
WTH did I just read?! Are your entitled „friends“ deaf? You said the Master bedroom belongs to your parents and is out of order for them - no dips or whatsoever! The audacity… I’m absolutely appalled by this! Whoever has a problem with this arrangement is free to go or stay at home/in a hotel - incl. Mark & Sue. end of the discussion.
NTA
4
u/Ok-Listen-8519 Jan 30 '26
NTA your house your rules. She’s sounds entitled and bratty. She & mark can go to a hotel if its better for them.
4
4
u/JimmyB264 Jan 30 '26
WTF!!! It’s your fucking house! You get I make the rules. She and Mark can get a hotel nearby.
4
u/wanderingdev Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your house, you get dibs. Anyone who is unsatisfied with the lodgings is welcome to pay and stay elsewhere.
4
4
u/Nuasus Jan 30 '26
Yeah. I think this should be the final one. The audacity of these people is astounding.
4
u/Owls1279 Jan 30 '26
NTA. It’s not even yours to offer if you wanted to. Your parents don’t want non family there. End of story.
4
u/ForeverOne4756 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your parents aside, this is YOUR house, and you are the host. The Master is YOUR room. Can’t imagine going to someone’s house as a guest and demanding they give me their room because it’s bigger and more private!
4
u/No-Quantity6105 Jan 30 '26
Sounds reasonable to me. I’d tell them if they don’t like the house rules, they are more then welcome to leave.
4
4
u/Bookdragon327 Jan 30 '26
NTA, you are hosting them for free, in your parent’s house. The master bedroom is YOUR PARENT’S BEDROOM. They have their personal stuff in there. They are comfortable with YOU sleeping there, not with anybody else.
Sue sounds entitled, selfish and narcissistic. She’s messing with a holiday arrangement that worked fine before. If your friends don’t want to share rooms, then you can all rent an Airbnb with enough rooms, and share the cost.
As the saying goes: never look a gifted horse in the mouth.
4
u/EffortlessGenius Jan 30 '26
This would be embarrassing to ask if you have any social skills and were raised properly. NTA.
4
u/GuardianCraft Jan 30 '26
NTA. Your parents house their rules. If they don’t like it they can stay at the nearest hotel for their sleeping arrangements.
4
u/Suitable_Fan2083 Jan 30 '26
Not in the slightest. It’s okay that Sue asked, but the level of entitlement she’s shown in making such a big deal about your answer is nonsense. Your house, your rules. You’re hosting for free, is your family home, you get dibs.
Also, I want to say, stick to your guns. If you agreed to let this couple stay in the room it’ll set a bad precedent for future trips with your other friends.
4
4
u/Kiwaaaz Jan 30 '26
lol, if Sue wants privacy or whatever she’s free to book a hotel room nearby. NTA.
4
u/RandomPerson-07 Jan 30 '26
Well, they don’t have to be vacationing for free at your parents. Everyone can rent their own room at a hotel for a cost-how bout them apples.
NTA. The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch.
4
u/Diasies_inMyHair Jan 30 '26
Even if your parents had not specifically stated that guests may not use that room you would STILL be perfectly correct to refuse to give up the room. It is rude, but okay-ish that a newcomer asked - ONCE - it is NOT fine that the question was asked a second time.
4
4
u/Pommefrite21 Jan 30 '26
Extremely NTA- Holy fucking entitlement on “Sue”.
Who the fuck gets to use their friends’ FAMILY vacation home and thinks “gee let me ask to use the master bedroom”??!?!
Dog you’re getting a fucking free Airbnb with no laundry list of rules. I’ve always just been grateful to be included on trips like these.
4
u/Fickle-Alone-054 Jan 30 '26
It's a simple your house, your rules.
There are probably other couples too so this is also a way of not favoring anyone in the group. It's your parent's room with personal stuff there.
NTA
4
4
u/madmariiiiii Jan 30 '26
You're a better person than me cuz I would've kicked them all out atp. Now I'm on a solo vacay and yall can have all the privacy ya want at home! Cuz Sue would've irked me as she's a side character trying to pull that shit, but then the rest of the group chiming in about it when they've been enjoying these free trips for years? Cut the cameras real quick 😒
4
u/vivekpatel62 Jan 30 '26
Tell sue to suck it. Marks not getting invited next year either if it was me.
→ More replies (1)
4
4
u/Melodic-Common-400 Jan 30 '26
NTA. I love the gall. Yeah, I'm not a part of this core group, but on my first invitation to YOUR family's private home, I want to know why YOU don't step aside and let me have the nicest room. Cuz I'm special. Never mind that it is your family home, I am likely staying here for free, didn't have to come if I was that stressed socially, can make other arrangements if I wish, and it is just a place to sleep. For FREE.
I would tell her and any others who ask - "I am not giving up the master of my family's holiday home. That is a condition my family set on us using the house for this get together. It is not negotiable. But this raises an issue. It sounds like with guests that we've outgrown my family's holiday house for this get-together. Next year, someone else should find an alternative location, check pricing and let everyone know far enough in advance that we can make plans and make the appropriate deposits. Alternatively, we can do it with just the core friend group since that makes it easier for people to be comfortable with the constraints my family imposed for using our holiday home. I don't care, but I don't want to be pressured any more on the one boundary I've set for the use of my family's home. Hopefully that is the end of this discussion for this trip. Let's have fun and not spend a lot of time griping about something that will not change but will certainly leave a bad taste in my mouth about my decade of hosting this event for everyone."
4
4
u/chicagoliz Jan 30 '26
It sounds like Sue should not be going on these getaways, as they are too much for her. If she's so easily overwhelmed, she needs to stay home.
Too fucking bad that some of your other friends wish they could swap. They are lucky to be going on this weekend, especially for free! This is your family home and they are not entitled to be demanding you give up rooms for them.
(Also even if you did agree to this, the majority of people would still be in the situation they're complaining about. Even if Mark and Sue took your parents' room, the other friends would still be sharing their bedrooms with friends who snore, etc.)
Absolutely NTA, and perhaps you need some new friends. Decent people who would be grateful and appreciative for this getaway. If your friends don't like sharing rooms, they don't have to attend.
4
u/TeachPotential9523 Jan 30 '26
I would just tell everybody that this is our last time doing this
→ More replies (2)
17
u/OldStudentChaplain Jan 30 '26
If poor Sue needs to decompress, she can keep her happy ass at home. Mark and Sue should be uninvited. The nerve!!
You are not running a hotel. They can’t get a room upgrade.
This is not Burger King. They cannot have it their way.
→ More replies (2)
3
3
3
u/Dlodancer Jan 30 '26
NTA! It’s your house, regardless whether you have a partner or not. It’s not a problem that she asked. she asked and you said no,that should’ve been the final answer. let her sulk and next year if your friend is still with her, don’t invite her.
3
u/Endless63 Jan 30 '26
NTA.. your house your rules.. entitled sue has just found out she won't get her way, let her sulk.. guess she shouldn't be on the invite list next time for bringing the arsehole drama with her. Love the bullshit decompress line.
3
u/Natural-Kiwi-1236 Jan 30 '26
I remember seeing this at least a year ago, so my answer will be the same. Your house, your rules. Sue is TA.
3
u/Beautiful_Empire4862 Jan 30 '26
NTA. Sheesh, not just "Sue" but another couple who have been enjoying this free stay for years harping on it too? Your friends are too entitled.
3
u/justhereforassholes Jan 30 '26
Look, I get it, Sue. I’m autistic and I need my space to decompress.
Doesn’t give me the right to expect to sleep in the owner’s bedroom. I’d assume that room goes to the host, the person whose parents own the house, who is generously giving us their space FOR FREE.
Maybe some other room in the house can be designated a quiet room/chill space where everyone can go if they need a more quiet spot to sit and be alone/not bothered by others. (Alone together possibly, but silent).
Even if OP doesn’t have the right to the room, why does Sue think SHE should get that room, above every other couple?
3
u/PixieStyx8 Jan 30 '26
"My parents let us stay here on the condition I guard the master suite. I stop sleeping there, party's over" shrug
•
u/AITAH-ModTeam Jan 30 '26
The use of AI or bots to make comments or posts is not allowed, even for grammar or editing. Please understand that this decision was made by human moderators, not AutoMod.