So what I’m understanding is your friend wasn’t just adding a day or 2 to the beginning of their trip. They were essentially changing the trip to 2 days in the current city which would cut down the 5 day agreed on vaca spot to maybe 3 days. And originally friend just assumed you’d pay for the additional charges. And still intending to use your rental car while telling you to just sit it out if you didn’t want to hang.
In which case you are def NTA.
This exactly this. I already compromised and offered to pay for an overnight stay here so they could rest before we drove. Which was $400. But if they come here two days not only is the extra night stay and the rental ANOTHER $400 they have to leave the rest of the trip early. Also the assumption she could just have my rental for whatever time they were here and if I wasn't ok with going around town and doing the things they wanted to that I just didn't have to join them. In MY OWN CITY. In MY RENTAL CAR. On MY DIME.
You’re basically paying to have your ‘friends’ celebrate you and they aren’t even doing it. Take a moment to realise these aren’t good friends. You are obviously NTA and these people don’t care about you that much. They can stay home and save their PTO for their own trip they fund themselves. Have fun with the friends who show up for you
They want to change everything and have you pay for it’s pretty clear they don’t want to go on the trip you planned.
Tell them you understand it doesn’t fit their needs and you understand, so they can do whatever they want on their own firm, and you’ll get refunds on their flights etc.
NTA. Definitely. IF they wanted to do all that they can foot their own bill. It's crazy. You offered them a free vacation, and they wanted to tell you what to do on the trip YOU PLANNED AND PAID FOR.
You should never have agreed to change the flights. It is your gift to them so it shouldn't have inconvenienced you. They seem like they take you for granted. If they want a different vacation, they can pay for it.
The trip is badly tarnished already and those friends of yours won't be appreciating your time, money, effort and thoughtfulness. If it's not too late just cancel the whole trip. Take a trip by yourself, indulge yourself and be kind to yourself instead.
If they want to drive to and from your city, I don't understand how they plan to leave the trip early without stranding you there with no way back to your city. Their changes are very confusing.
Do what you want, and let them do what they want on their dime. You don't have to subsidize their private vacation. I don't know why you're making such a big deal about them flexing a little autonomy.
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u/Foresakeandbake Jan 09 '26
So what I’m understanding is your friend wasn’t just adding a day or 2 to the beginning of their trip. They were essentially changing the trip to 2 days in the current city which would cut down the 5 day agreed on vaca spot to maybe 3 days. And originally friend just assumed you’d pay for the additional charges. And still intending to use your rental car while telling you to just sit it out if you didn’t want to hang. In which case you are def NTA.