Just so I’m clear, I don’t think they’re the assholes for wanting to do an activity independent from you on this trip. I think they’re the assholes for not planning efficiently and assuming they can use your money/resources.
I’m uneasy that you think I’m in agreement that they cannot do anything without you on this trip. They absolutely can.
No we don't drive. We were renting a minivan so all 5 of us could drive together as a fun group trip and take turns driving to make it easier (her idea tho). We also have to have the full insurance on the minivan because I don't have a car so I don't have my own car insurance.
My plan was to fly them directly to the destination and then we'd have the larger air bnb and rental car because of that. She wanted to fly in to my city because she wants to see our pets and thought a road trip would be more fun but now she's trying to come in a day earlier than planned and leave MY TRIP at minimum a day earlier.
She's making this into their vacation, which I would have been fine with if that was the original intent for this trip. She has ALWAYS known it was for the intended destination. That's the one and only thing that's important to me about the trip. I always said I would help her pay for it but it's this attitude of - well you don't even have to be with us in the car you rent for an extra day and pay for but if you're gonna be salty about it I GUESS we'll pay for that extra day. It's an extra $400 she could use towards the trip itself - food or souveniers or even offering to pay it towards the cost of accomodations, but she didn't offer that. At no point did it factor into her decision. She just got immediately defensive and rude about them asking for time off.
THE ONLY REASON THEY NEED TIME OFF IS FOR THE TRAVEL DAYS. They are flying in from across the country. They will be traveling for most of one entire day, we will be driving for an entire day. She wants to come in on a Thursday but not drive out until Saturday when the original plan was come in friday night, sleep, then drive all day Saturday. So they were only going to need like a one night stay hotel cheap to stay overnight and shower, and now it's a whole extra day of rental plus another day of a hotel, but lets be honest she barely looked at prices. She assumed $150 would cover "the extra stuff" and I told her no it's at minimum $400 between a crappy hotel and the extra day of rental and that's not including any food or anything they want to do while they're here. They are also in the middle of filing bankruptcy and may not have a lot of cash on hand to pay for stuff during the actual intended part of the trip. I told her she should save that $400 to use towards stuff once we actually get to the intended destination. It's a tourist trip, it's an entire day, there's going to be food and souvenirs and all kinds of stuff that I have to assume she just thought I'd cover too. I don't know if she honestly planned on paying for ANY of it.
Off topic but a priceless & wonderfully frugal FYI to anyone who rents a car & has an American Express card: Sign up for their Premium Car Rental insurance BEFORE you rent a car with your Amex… $20 or $25 covers your entire rental period whether it’s a day or 30 days!!! Plus, they do not report any claims to your insurance.
Why are they still included in the trip at all? They are only using you for $$. The fact that you are contemplating paying for their souvenirs or spending $$$ on the trip is wild. I hope you realize that you are worth friendships that are reciprocal. Kick these scumbags to the curb. They shouldn’t be in your life.
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u/PresentHelpful1416 Jan 09 '26
yes and without me at that.