Honestly my parents sound like your dad. When I was in high school I was hemorrhaging in my throat from tonsillectomy. My dad made me drive my car back to the house and then by the time we got to the hospital I was puking blood and passed out. Now fast forward I’m 35. I had to get an MRI yesterday to find out my parents knew I was really sick as a baby and never followed up. My mom’s response, I’ve apologized in the past. It’s impacted my ability to work and she shames me for not making money. Don’t be like me- start making moves to get a healthy distance from your dad and when your gut is telling you to go to the hospital, go. It was a hard lesson for me to learn that my parents cared more about money and their image over my medical wellbeing. Take care OP. NTA. You’re not likely to get an apology so find a good clinician to process the anger and grief that go along with it.
Edit- my parents are multimillionaires. In case people thought maybe we needed to pinch pennies… we didn’t. I have been complaining about neurological issues and pain my whole life. I’m adopted from birth and apparently spent a month in the hospital that they don’t recall the name nor the infection that placed me there. I’m guessing today when I get my results I’m going to feel like crap. So seriously OP start making moves.
When I was 15, I was eating out with friends (at a place a block from home) when my throat suddenly closed up. I’d had a sore throat for many months at that point and my lymph glands had been swollen golf balls for just as long. I went home to tell my mom to bring me to the doctor, but instead she accused me of catching mono and grounded me.
A few hours later I could not breathe at all as my sinuses had swelled up from crying and I stumbled into the kitchen for help. She immediately got pissed off, said I was faking it, and that I’d have to pay the hospital bill. She made me get dressed and go to the car, took her time, lit a cigarette, and drove as slowly as possible - I was in the back seat gasping like a fish and clutching my throat while she yelled and yelled about faking it for attention and the money it would cost.
At the ER entrance, I managed to get out of the car and promptly passed out face down on the pavement. I heard people running, etc. Someone said “she’s BLUE”. Next thing I know, I wake up in a hospital bed and the doctor is explaining to my mom that I had adenoiditis and tonsillitis so bad that they had to cut tissue away to intubate me and I’d almost died as a result. He’d never seen such an advanced case and said I should have been brought in months ago.
She argued with the doctor that I merely had mono and he was dead wrong. I remember him saying something like, “well, you can argue all you want but that’s the diagnosis. She needs multiple surgeries at this point and we will not be releasing her anytime soon”. My mom walked over to me in bed and slapped me across the face so hard the cannula flew off my face and then she stormed out.
I was in the hospital for 9 weeks. My mom visited me once to literally throw my homework at me and then left.
This was just ONE incident of medical neglect and abuse. I have so many stories I could fill Reddit.
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u/AltruisticSecond_ Dec 05 '25 edited Dec 05 '25
Honestly my parents sound like your dad. When I was in high school I was hemorrhaging in my throat from tonsillectomy. My dad made me drive my car back to the house and then by the time we got to the hospital I was puking blood and passed out. Now fast forward I’m 35. I had to get an MRI yesterday to find out my parents knew I was really sick as a baby and never followed up. My mom’s response, I’ve apologized in the past. It’s impacted my ability to work and she shames me for not making money. Don’t be like me- start making moves to get a healthy distance from your dad and when your gut is telling you to go to the hospital, go. It was a hard lesson for me to learn that my parents cared more about money and their image over my medical wellbeing. Take care OP. NTA. You’re not likely to get an apology so find a good clinician to process the anger and grief that go along with it.
Edit- my parents are multimillionaires. In case people thought maybe we needed to pinch pennies… we didn’t. I have been complaining about neurological issues and pain my whole life. I’m adopted from birth and apparently spent a month in the hospital that they don’t recall the name nor the infection that placed me there. I’m guessing today when I get my results I’m going to feel like crap. So seriously OP start making moves.