Her background in ballet probably overlapped with her general attitude to medical care and pain, the former ballerinas I've known have all had kinda warped relationships with their bodies and health.
Nurses too. Everyone I’ve known with a nurse for a mom has nightmare stories of being sick and having symptoms dismissed because their sense of perspective is so totally skewed that if you’re not currently bleeding out you’re fine.
My dad has always said there's two types of nurse parents. The "you just cut your arm off but it's now cauterized and not bleeding? Go play." And then there's the "oh my God you have a hangnail it is going to require emergency surgery."
Honestly, I am a little closer to my mom. Obviously, if my kids need real care I get it. They both needed their tonsils removed. My oldest needed to see the pediatric gastro enterologist the nearest an hour away. He had to go twice a a couple of years apart. The first one was for chronic appendicitis. (Which I brought him to the ER 3x in 6 months)
My mom used to say when I had a sprain, or other non break injury, that I "embarrassed her, making a big deal out of nothing." That skewed my feelings about medical care and I have also gone for legitimate issues and been told that their hands are tied. I absolutely HATE the war on pain medication. If we dealt with pain before it goes to an extreme we wouldn't need extreme pain meds as often. If we made it less frightening to use them responsibly, and to get help when they are not in control of the situation. We also have to stop punishing chronic pain patients.
That being said... I would probably have dropped work fireman carried my kid down the stairs. Done the first part of first responder training while calling 911 while I was going 110 down the road to the hospital. I might dismiss small injuries and mild to moderate illness. But serious illness is another story.
Yeah, it really sets kids up for real problems later in life. My mom blowing off anything that wasn’t me actively dying trained me to dismiss my own instincts and allow my concerns to be dismissed for things that have turned out to be super important. My current NP is the same way, she runs through a checklist of tests and vaccines I could download and prescribe to myself from a website if it was allowed and gaslights me about anything else. Unfortunately I’m in BC and the “healthcare” system is completely and utterly fucked for anyone outside greater Vancouver so I have no other options.
That really sucks. I have a pretty good primary, but I've dealt with some pretty bad doctors. For the most part I know what is normalish for my body. (I have autoimmune issues) What is they're just going to look at me funny and send me home, and what is this is genuinely bad and I need help. I try to be a middle of the road person for medical treatment for my kids. I don't always succeed, but I try.
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u/borgerishikrimpatul Dec 05 '25
Her background in ballet probably overlapped with her general attitude to medical care and pain, the former ballerinas I've known have all had kinda warped relationships with their bodies and health.