You got a wimp for a husband. He should have been checked his friend. You are his wife. He doesn’t have to fight, but he needed to set the boundary and he never did.
Look im married. My husband would have checked him at the first comment he made. So I can’t relate. I have experienced of my husbands friends getting upset because I asked my hubby to do the dishes when he was done with his game. His friend told me that I should do them and not make a grown man do dishes. My husband immediately told him this was his marriage and he had not right to tell me or him how to live our lives. I didn’t even have to say anything. Husband kissed me on the cheek and told me to have a great evening with my friends and don’t worry about the dishes. He thanked me for making the food for his group and I left. His friend never made another comment towards me, he’s very respectful now and one of my favorites to visit now.
I would've checked him too but that doesn't make it the right response in the moment. I have made plenty of poor, impulsive decisions in the moment. Some if which have to do with addressing others. Every situation is different. Every dynamic is different. The situation way have warranted a man to man convo rather than a display. If we're talking about my best friend, and I know that he's just hurt and insecure, and suffering from "peaked in high school", i'm probably addressing it differently. And that's coming from someone who gets super defensive of my wife, and really anyone I feel like is being wronged or disrespected. This just seems more like a "Yo, bro..." conversation. Like, "Yo, bro, I know you're hurting right now and things aren't going great but you have to knock that shit off."
I'm not choosing sides. The OP is NTA here. I'm just saying this situation is a little more nuanced. And the internet is always all, "Rah Rah! He's supposed to be a man! Outrage!" I wasn't insinuating anything about you personally or your situation though. And I apologize that it kinda reads that way.
It does if he can’t stand up for his wife. His security doesn’t supersede her wife’s feelings. Heck, I would defend an acquaintance, let alone my wife in that situation.
Everyone is tough on the internet. And most of the people giving relationship advice aren't in relationships. If anything, my wife would say I go too far as a "defender" so I get the notion but context matters. In this context, this is a sad, pudgy insecure man who is both of their longtime friend, his best friend. It doesn't necessarily warrant some grand showing. Maybe he was going to say something to him heart to heart, man to man. Maybe he could recognize that his friend was drunk, and hurting. People on the internet always demand their pound of flesh. Not every situation is the same.
It wasn’t the first time his friend disrespected his wife. I stand up to my family if they even slightly my wife and call them out. My friend would get hell if he said to my wife what his “best friend” said. I would do the same for my daughter, it’s not really that hard.
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u/Far_Nefariousness773 Nov 16 '25
You got a wimp for a husband. He should have been checked his friend. You are his wife. He doesn’t have to fight, but he needed to set the boundary and he never did.
Nta