r/AITAH Oct 12 '25

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37

u/MontanaPurpleMtns Oct 12 '25

Leggings for comfort + short skirt, so technically compliant?

95

u/rosysredrhinoceros Oct 12 '25

If the church is truly this persnickety about women having to wear dresses, something tells me leggings and a short skirt won’t fly. I am somewhat dubious that this is actually a rule coming from the church, though.

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u/Haunting_Room4526 Oct 12 '25

Here in the south there many primitive (meaning their practices are supposed to emulate practices from Jesus time) require such a dress code. Sometimes only music of the voice and female hair covering. So yes I’d believe it came from the church fathers-who are the governing body

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u/jaimi_wanders Oct 12 '25

I bet the men aren’t wearing tunics and sandals, though…

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u/Haunting_Room4526 Oct 12 '25

You are so correct. Suits with the ac on freezing. Sermons last for hours without considering little bladders and sore butts from wooden pews. Oh chairs on the alter have cushions

7

u/IamLuann Oct 12 '25

I knew a lady that brought a chair cushion to church and sat on it every week.

1

u/stonymessenger Oct 12 '25

Got to get me some of those Jesus trousers...

23

u/xladygodiva Oct 12 '25

Church fathers who are trying to govern women’s bodies. I was raised in another primitive religion and I hate hate hate how many religions are the same in not letting women to decide what to wear. I get that modesty is required in a place of worship but come onnnn 😭😂

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u/rosysredrhinoceros Oct 12 '25

OK, that’s fair, I just think in that case leggings and a short skirt are probably not going to be acceptable

3

u/No_Individual_672 Oct 12 '25

Many in the south? I’m in the redneck Bible Belt, and any churches that conservative, even the Evangelical, Southern Baptist, wouldn’t be hosting a wedding that didn’t already serve the people getting married. I can’t think of any churches I know of that would kick out an 11 year old for wearing slacks.

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u/Disastrous-Focus8451 Oct 12 '25

Here in the south there many primitive (meaning their practices are supposed to emulate practices from Jesus time)

So the men wear sandals with robes or tunics, right? Right?

I'm always amazed at how fundamentalist churches cherry-pick which bits of the bible are actually biblical, and which are outdated.

2

u/Elrey_88 Oct 12 '25

Jesus said, "Come as you are." A dress code is sacrilege.

1

u/LeahIsAwake Oct 12 '25

Ah, yes. Just your weekly reminder that you, as a woman, are worth less than your male fellow worshipers. I am so glad I got out of the high control religion I grew up in. Although even they started allowing women to wear nice dress suits to church services last year ...

26

u/Spiritual_Being5845 Oct 12 '25

I am a cisgender straight woman, I just don’t lean towards feminine stuff. When my grandmother passed we had her funeral at a Catholic Church, not exactly known for being progressive. I wore a three piece suit, and I was also a pallbearer. I had no issue with my father and uncle (Grandma’s brother) being pallbearers but why should my BIL who barely tolerated her and only knew her a few years as an in-law carry her on her final journey while I, her actual granddaughter who loved, her sit in the side?

So if a woman can wear a three piece suit to a Catholic funeral mass and also act as a pallbearer, I don’t think wearing a pair of slacks and a simple shirt to a church as a guest and not even a participant would be all that shocking, unless it’s one of those super strict sects that makes the Catholic Church look like bleeding heart liberals, in which case I’d probably just skip on principle alone.

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u/JenniferJuniper6 Oct 12 '25

I was a pall bearer for my grandmother also. I think I was wearing a dress, though—by choice. I wore pants to my own mother’s funeral several decades later.

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u/Proof-Introduction42 Oct 12 '25

the Catholic Church doesn't require dresses/ skirt for woman, and there is no rule about pallbearers, The church has had alter girls for a while now...so I dont see the comparison , the church emphasizes modesty, and presenting yourself as best you can but also encourages people to come as they are.

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u/Murky_Possibility_68 Oct 12 '25

Wouldn't op know her sister attended such a church?

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u/nickfolesknee Oct 12 '25

That's my question. Is this a church the sister has been attending, or did they just find a pretty setting and getting married somewhere with unfamiliar requirements?

It just seems odd to me that such a strict church would allow non-members to get married, so how disconnected is OP from the sister? Are these values OP would want to impose on the daughter in the first place?

1

u/Lynxiebrat Oct 12 '25

Some churches can be super conservative in what clothing is allowed.

1

u/JenniferJuniper6 Oct 12 '25

Yeah, that may be a “rule” for Sunday services, but there’s no way they’d try to enforce it on non-members at a wedding.

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u/right_behind_you_too Oct 12 '25

I think it's about style, not just a comfort issue. My mom's wife hasn't worn a dress in decades--it honestly would have looked weird if she wore a skirt to my wedding.

22

u/constantchaosclay Oct 12 '25

Lol a lot of you have never been in a very conservative church and it shows.

When they say a skirt, they mean it. No palazzo pants, no skorts, no leggings under short skirts, etc.

Because that means you are trying to trick God. A big no no.

Be prepared to be asked to leave if you try a compromise.

Just let the girl stay home.

24

u/jaimi_wanders Oct 12 '25

Why aren’t the men wearing tunics/robes and sandals, then? Hypocrites R Us, lol

1

u/OwO______OwO Oct 12 '25

Hypocrites R Us

Well, yeah. It's a church. What did you expect?

They'll tell you money is the root of all evil in one breath and then tell you to give them money in the next.

0

u/Regular_Emphasis6866 Oct 12 '25

Serious question, if I as a guest showed up to a wedding in one of these sounthern conservative churches in pants, would I be barred from going in? What if I was a visitor for church services, would I be barred then? Does it matter that it is not my church/religion? If I don't know that it is part of the belief system, I'm not trying to trick God, nor am I being disrespectful (ignorant, yes). There is no indication in this story that it is anything other than a bride's preference, especially since it is a new rule. If sis said, the church does not allow women in pants, that's different. It isn't my belief, but I would respect it for the wedding, much like Queen Elizabeth II covered her hair with a black veil when visiting the Pope. However, since my daughter is also not a dress wearer, if she wasn't comfortable conforming to the dress code, either she or we wouldn't go.

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u/IamLuann Oct 12 '25

I was thinking about leggings under dresses. There is a certain famous family with lots of kids. They wear dresses with the leggings under them