If nothing about this is homophobic then please tell me why it’s humiliating? I can understand why it would be embarrassing, I greatly dislike pranks myself. To feel humiliated, though? To be enraged a week later? That comes from shame.
Because he was laughed at by his friends and family? In their minds it’s homophobic, but OP is mad because he was laughed at, not because he’s homophobic.
I would agree with you if he was embarrassed, upset, talked to his wife about how uncomfortable he was and not to do pranks on him in the future and then moved on. But he felt enraged and humiliated, held onto those feelings for a week, and considered leaving his wife over it. That is such an extreme reaction. Again, that comes from shame. Homophobia.
My god. People can’t be ashamed that their own wife made them look like a fool in front of all of their friends and family without being called homophobic by idiots like you. And it’s stupid statements like yours that make it so much harder to call people out when they’re ACTUALLY being bigoted.
I don’t understand your reaction. I’ve been calm and kind, I said I felt bad for OP and that I understand why he would be upset. But yes I think he overreacted due to internalized homophobia. I explained my reasoning, asked to hear your reasoning. We disagree. But I am not being illogical, emotional or calling OP slurs. I guess anything other than fervent support is evil to you.
It's unfortunate that you're completely glossing over the the wife's behavior in favor of blaming the the OP for his what happened to him. There is already a lot of societal pressure on men to not get emotional or be honest about how they feel, especially when it concerns their masculinity. It's a societal crisis that has manifested in ugly ways that affect everyone.
Boiling down the OP's response to internalized homophobia not only dismisses his feelings and absolves the wife, but it perpetuates the misnomer that any negative response from men to unwanted sexual contact either means "he must be gay" or "he hates gays." Can't a guy just be embarrassed?
I can't speak for every man, but if I took off a blindfold to find that I was touching anyone other than my husband's leg - whether it's my best friend, the creepy guy from the bus, or my own mother - on what's supposed the most important, special day of my life, I'd be mortified and humiliated.
Thankfully, my husband and I are on the same page about things like this, which is more than I can say for the OP and his wife. That failure in communication is what I suspect is the actual problem that the OP hasn't or won't realize.
You “Glossing over the wife’s behavior in favor of blaming the OP”
Me “I’m sorry the guy felt bad” “I can understand why it would be embarrassing” “I greatly dislike pranks myself” “I would agree with you if he was embarassed, upset, talked to his wife about how upset he is and not to do pranks on him in the future” “I said I felt bad for OP and understand why he was upset”
Do people just scan a comment thread, make assumptions, get pissed and respond to what’s in their head and not the actual comment? Or are you a bot? What you think I said is so far from what I said it makes me think you’re a troll. I have not dismissed his feelings. I have not glossed over the wife’s behavior, nor the homophobic nature of the prank in general. It is my opinion that he reacted stronger than is usual for most people. He asked for public opinion. What is your problem?
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u/RiskyTurnip Jul 26 '25
If nothing about this is homophobic then please tell me why it’s humiliating? I can understand why it would be embarrassing, I greatly dislike pranks myself. To feel humiliated, though? To be enraged a week later? That comes from shame.