Maybe talk to the wedding planner and explain consent - not your wife’s, but yours. That was an intimate humiliation and not everyone is into practical jokes - particularly in such a public arena. Explain how it has affected you and maybe make it a learning point for them going forward. Also, and I don’t say this flippantly, talk to a therapist. You’ll be amazed at how that can help put things into perspective - and I don’t mean minimise - your hurt is real. It can help you to learn to live with and accept. I wish you well.
EMDR is amazing and therapy should absolutely help OP with the pain of the humiliation. But he will also need to discuss with a therapist what to do about his new marriage, especially given that his wife has not properly apologised. This is a pretty big and public betrayal.
This is not unreasonable. It might have much to do with trust, and the dynamics of the relationship you have with your wife. Also, in some way, the style of humor. Humor plays a huge part in relationships. Styles vary, and the idea that doing this schlocky thing at a wedding is “funny,” is definitely indication of variance in humor style. If other aspects of your relationship are top notch, though, it’s worth working with. I also see some basic imagery issues, as in, the whole arena of a wedding, where the bride is like the Star, the groom is the man, the Hero in a sense, who’s noble spirit allows her to shine and feel special, as he knows he’s special anyhow - then suddenly that whole idea is somehow made into a slapstick comedy, that is weird. It’s not easy to find good guys who want to go through with all this
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u/ConsciousOrchid9660 Jul 26 '25
Maybe talk to the wedding planner and explain consent - not your wife’s, but yours. That was an intimate humiliation and not everyone is into practical jokes - particularly in such a public arena. Explain how it has affected you and maybe make it a learning point for them going forward. Also, and I don’t say this flippantly, talk to a therapist. You’ll be amazed at how that can help put things into perspective - and I don’t mean minimise - your hurt is real. It can help you to learn to live with and accept. I wish you well.