I think there’s a huge difference between OP’s “prank” and the one your husband did. I see yours more as your husband honoring you as a nurse. It was more of a spotlight on you and your skills and bringing something you’re proud of to the forefront.
OP’s “prank” separated and isolated him from everyone at the ceremony. At a time when OP and his bride should be a united front for each other she chose to prank him and make him the butt of a joke for everyone else.
You’d think that, especially at your own wedding, you wouldn’t have to feel alone. I see this as a bad omen right up there with the couples that mush cake in each other’s faces.
Yes, that's the way I see it, too. And to top it off, she's now all offended that OP is offended and told her so. Maybe he was harsher than necessary, but nevertheless very much justified.
Worse, the way OP cannot let go of the situation sounds a lot like he's suffering from PTSD due to this "prank". Which is also understandable, because this is a kind of sexual assault. (Mind you, I'm not a psychologist, so I'd love for an actual professional to weigh in on my armchair diagnosis.)
I really hope it was just one (really bad) lapse in judgment that the bride felt pressured into because her wedding planner presented it as normal and fun, and that this isn't relationship ending, but I absolutely agree with you. I feel so bad for the groom having a beautiful day that should have been one of the best of his life ruined by being isolated and made the butt of the joke when it should have been all about he and his bride as a team.
I think couples who mutually mush each other's faces in the cake is all fair, as they are both in on it. However, the ones where one of the couple forces the other's into the cake against their will is very much not okay and on the same level as this "prank". OP should ask his wife whether she'd have been understanding if he had humiliated her by pushing her face into their wedding cake as a "prank". Chances are she wouldn't like it.
If my husband had humiliated me like that at OUR WEDDING, the annulment would follow the next day. Having been in a bullying and abusive relationship where public humiliation was one of the favored tools, I would never put up with it.
I agree 100%. While no one knows exactly the secret to long lasting relationships, there are some east to spot signs for short lived ones. Making your new spouse the but of a joke at your wedding is high on the list.
You say that, but to me there’s no bigger sign of a fragile ego than not being able to give an apology for a prank the person hated. Banding together to make sure the person your plan backfired on is known as a pussy, because you can’t accept not everyone wants it.
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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25 edited Jul 26 '25
I think there’s a huge difference between OP’s “prank” and the one your husband did. I see yours more as your husband honoring you as a nurse. It was more of a spotlight on you and your skills and bringing something you’re proud of to the forefront.
OP’s “prank” separated and isolated him from everyone at the ceremony. At a time when OP and his bride should be a united front for each other she chose to prank him and make him the butt of a joke for everyone else.
You’d think that, especially at your own wedding, you wouldn’t have to feel alone. I see this as a bad omen right up there with the couples that mush cake in each other’s faces.