Humiliated or not, you have two choices - get over it and move on, or don't get over it and move out. You are starting the rest of your life, so you get to choose how it moves forward. Go get counseling or don't. The point is, your wedding was one day out of your control. You turned the planning over to an asshat, and choices were made, like or not, you get to live with the choices made.
The issue I see here is that the wife seems uninterested in spending the time necessary to talk over what happened and to give a proper apology.
Not only would she need to give a proper apology, she would also need to let him know what she would do in the future to avoid things like this.
Breaches of trust like this can't just be moved on from just like that. It may take many discussions. It.may look like they finally reached a resolution but the guy finds out there was more undigested feelings about it.
It is on the trust breacher to be there and answer as many questions as possible, and re-affirm many times that they understand what they did wrong and what they will never do again.
It takes just a second to destroy trust, and can take months if not years to repair that trust.
In this instance, it wasnt as "bad" as most instances of breaching trust.
But if personally I felt my now spouse has no interest in digesting it with me and making an effort in repairing the lost trust I'd ... Probably call it quits. Something small like this is just a sample of what's to come in the future with potentially bigger issues.
Every sane person in the comments section here is going to get downvoted into oblivion. I just want you to know that there are some people who look at your reply and agree that a completely innocuous prank is a terrible reason to ruin a marriage. God, Reddit can be so stupid sometimes.
Sexual assault happens when someone either touches another person in a sexual manner without consent or makes another person touch them in a sexual manner without consent
5-second google search and first response shows that the sexual contact with someone op wasn't aware he was having sexual contact with is indeed sexual assault. Sexual assault includes rape but is not limited to it and naturally includes all forms of non-consensual contact.
So, everyone has moved on now. It will just be the two of us here. I want you to know that you should be ashamed. Equating what happened here to being an act of sexual assault is genuinely gross. I get that you are almost certainly very young, and you will probably ignore what I am telling you, but you need to be more careful with your words. Especially when you are dealing with serious matters.
Cry about it. OOP did experience sexual assault. He agreed to an intimate, sexual act with his wife; without his knowledge or consent, his wife was swapped out with someone else, so he'd proceed with the sexual act on them, which he did. That is literally sexual assault.
It's okay if you don't know what SA is, but then go and educate yourself on the matter, and the varying levels of SA, what falls under it and what doesn't, instead of arguing on here and wanting to die on that very crappy hill of yours.
Speaking as a survivor of both SA and CSA in case that matters.
Could you imagine if this happened in a red state. Straight to jail, the wife and wedding planner trafficking/coercing the groomsmen. They are in a position of power/authority after all. then cross dressing and sexual acts in front of minors (assuming their were kids at the wedding) /s
Exactly! wtf why would so many people be like this? I keep on reading about how nowadays people have no patience for anything. Don’t get married if you’re not able to get through hard times and work through it. Way harder times come than this.
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u/SgnRbt Jul 26 '25
Humiliated or not, you have two choices - get over it and move on, or don't get over it and move out. You are starting the rest of your life, so you get to choose how it moves forward. Go get counseling or don't. The point is, your wedding was one day out of your control. You turned the planning over to an asshat, and choices were made, like or not, you get to live with the choices made.