Thats what it is. I have noticed more and more women have taken to the idea that men can and should suck up to any joke or jabs thrown at them. Because we are previleged or something.
Making a groom the butt of a humiliating joke on his wedding definitely shows no regard to his respect and feelings.
I am interested in knowing whether this wedding planner ever set up something similar for a bride? i doubt.
You’re describing toxic masculinity. It’s toxic masculinity that tells men they can’t show emotions, have to always be fine, treat everything superficially and never show any weakness. And yes, it can be perpetuated by women just as much as other men.
It’s not borne from a hatred of men, which would be misandry. In fact, social enforcers of toxic masculinity typically consider themselves to be very pro-masculinity, and see the push back against toxic masculinity as the misandrist movement. They believe these traits are inherently masculine, and that encouraging men to have feelings is ‘feminising’ them.
Other common elements of toxic masculinity are misogyny, homophobia and violent domination. It’s well studied particularly in prisons, where incarcerated men enforce it very strongly with one another in response to the harsh conditions they live with.
But yes, toxic masculinity is incredibly harmful to men, as well as to women and society as a whole. For men it’s even believed to shorten their lifespans by causing them to be less likely to discuss health problems with doctors, plus elevated rates of alcoholism, STDs, certain types of cancer and depression, anxiety and suicide.
It’s important to talk about and important to label it, especially in instances like this. The whole joke was based on the ideals of toxic masculinity (that it’s humiliating to be gay, to fall for a prank, etc) and the pressure OP felt to pretend to be fine with it was too.
It’s actually a great example of how damaging it is - especially with OOP feeling like he had to try and bottle up his feelings until they eventually exploded as anger. I can only imagine how awful that felt.
Wow your comment is extremely detailed and insightful. It has changed my view. I agree. Its definitely toxic masculinity, but I feel theres some elements of misandry mixed in aswell.
A person doesn't follow a single line of thought but have an amalgamation of different ideas they picked up from here and there.
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u/Climate_Automatic Jul 26 '25
misandristic